Ignoring the Monkey
The Monkey has been calling out to me alot lately. I can be sitting around in my apartment minding my own business and I hear the the Monkey call out from the store on the corner. He says, 'Eee!' (come and get me!). He goes, 'Eee!' (hey! did you rent a movie! can I watch with you?) He shrieks, 'Eee!!!' (I'm your friend and I bring happyhappy with me!) But I now have to ignore the him. I have to because my head is too big now. The Monkey made my head too big.
For a few weeks there were good times with me and the Monkey. I'd take him home all the time. We'd play video games together. Sometimes we'd sit in bed and read a book. He made movies on tv better. Sometimes we'd just monkey around in the kitchen. Late night sessions. Whenever I was in the mood me and the Monkey would hang out.
But the other day I looked in the mirror and noticed my head was too big. I looked over at the Monkey and he rolled his eyes. Like he didn't know why my head was so big. He knew. 'Eee?' the Monkey said (wanna play a Unreal Tournament 2003 on the computer with me?) NO! I did not want to play a Unreal Tournament 2003 with him. I looked in the mirror and sunk my chin into my neck and saw how I had a big double chin. I glared at him. The Monkey shrugged his shoulders playing all innocent. I pushed the cheeks on my face together. 'Eee!' the Monkey said. (telling me to stop worrying and that my face looked fine). But it didn't look 'fine'. My whole head is now officially too big ...all thanks to the Monkey.
So now I leave the Monkey in the freezer at the store on the corner. I will ignore his 'Eee!' 'Eee!' siren calls. And I'll walk by with a bag of carrots or pretzels. They're not friendly the way the Monkey was. But I have to make a choice. Hang out with the Monkey and watch my head get bigger and bigger until I scare kids or leave the Monkey. When I gain weight in my gut I don't really care and but when I go overboard it all goes to my head. I have a big melon head already and if I gain too much weight it goes straight to my face- and makes my big bald melon head even bigger. So I can't be going all nutty with the Monkey. Unless I don't mind being all extra superbig head guy. And I do. So the Monkey and me gotta take a break from each other ...for now.