The Semi-Truth About Celebrities and Charity

So today I was sitting around on my broke ass and I got grumpy and annoyed at mega-rich celebrities.

Here's the thing. I just googled around to check in on the richest celebrities and here's what they made last year.

Here's a few examples:

Oprah made $275 million dollars.
JK Rowling $300 million dollars.
Will Smith made $80 million.
Cameron Diaz made $50 million.
Jerry Seinfeld made $85 million.
Simon Cowell made $72 million
Johnny Depp $75 million.

Keep in mind this is just in a single year. An annual salary.

And I've decided these very fortunate people aren't not doing nearly enough to help other people. As far as I'm concerned if you're fortunate enough to be making $50+ million dollars every single year. Year after year. You should be morally forced to contribute a good chunk to charity. 20%? Something like that. Every year. Why not?

Like, what's Johnny Depp with all his creepy goodness really doing for anyone? Personally raising awareness for the red wine industry?

What's Simon Cowell doing? Buying million dollar cars? Lazing on a gross yacht tanning his moobs?

How bout funny guy Seinfeld who has to build a garage in New York City to house his dozens of stupid wanker cars?

Madonna spent $15 million dollars on building her personal gym. Gross. No better place for $15 million these days? Nice crazy arms btw.

Will Smith? He's way rich. I googled about his generosity. His Will & Jada charity foundation is sitting on a whopping $1,600,000. He made friggin $80 million last year alone!

Derek Jeter makes how much money for throwing a ball around. His foundation? I googled it. Since 1996, he's raised "over $8 million dollars". Way to go Derek?

And these guys are the few that even bothered to have any sort of personal foundation at all!

As crazy as Tom Cruise is-- at least he gives a ton of money to something he thinks is 'good for the world' or whatever.

Like, how many celebrities went on TV to support Katrina victims years ago? Great. But what did they personally donate to the causes? $5,000 each? No wonder they're at us for our money to clear the high bar of raising $5 million dollars for this or that? Why doesn't the bunch of em just give it over and not spend $100,000 on a car or a necklace this month? Or not check into a hotel suite for $10,000 a night? And I don't think showing up at a party and getting your picture taken as a 'do-gooder' counts as "charity work" anyway. That's a press opportunity first.

Yeah, I know Oprah does alot of charity work and maybe she doesn't deserve to be fingerpointed at as much as some others-- but it's all relative. They made a big deal because she donated $15 million to build a school in Africa or something. Ok great? But why not every year? Why not build a friggin town? Yeah I know she has some big foundation. But how much does she take out of her pocket for that every year? I dunno. $20 million? Is that really that much to her? Why can't she give $100 million? Every year? She'll still have $175 million to live on!

I think it's time to start pointing fingers at these people for simply not doing enough! Because they're not. Yeah, you can write this off as me being jealous or not having the right to dictate how people spend their money. You'd be right about that. Totally. You can say I don't have the facts. True! That I don't personally give as much as I can. And you'd be right too! You can say they earned it and they have to right to do whatever they want. Agreed! So there!

But if I get one more megarich celebrity do-gooder douche in my face asking me to donate to "their cause" as they stand there in a $20,000 dress with $30,000 of jewels getting into a $200,000 car to drive to their $10M house. I'm gonna puke. It's enough of this bullshit. What does someone do with $100 million dollars anyway?

And yes, I do know this sort of problem has been going on since the dawn of the rich.

ok bye!




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