Smartening Up the Stupid Way

Sometimes I feel like I'm getting dumber by the day so I've been trying to do what I can to turn things around.

I've cut back on TV (sorta). I've been eating lots of blueberries because I read somewhere that blueberries slap up your brain smarter or something. Also I heard that fatty fish like salmon or whatever might make people smarter so eat the smarter fish instead of the stupider fish like ummm... cat fish? I dunno. Is that fish stupid? Seems stupid. And yes, I realize that all fish are relatively stupid! (except dolphins-- yadda I know "they" say dolphins might not be a fish or something. But as far as I'm concerned a dolphin is a friggin fish! Look at it! You're telling me that thing isn't a fish? I don't care if it can do tricks! That doesn't make it closer to being a human! Stupid scientists! You see it swimming underwater, right? aka fish!)

Anyway, I'm also paranoid about maybe having alzheimers in my head ever since I heard that aluminum can be responsible for making people go all alzie and stuff. Some doctor dude blah blahed on some news show that underarm deodorant with aluminum may lead to alzheimer's-- so I started to look for an unaluminumated alternative to squash the paranoia... instead of just stopping being paranoid.

Underarm-wise, my problem isn't that I get sweaty. I only sweat from my head. In hot weather I look great from the neck down. Totally dry! But upstairs I look like I just got out of the shower. My only problem under my arms (besides the fact that I never really grew in any underarm hair even though I'm like hairy chest man. weird. freak.) is sometimes I get smelly. So a while back I went to the drugstore looking for non-aluminum deodorant. But all deodorants seems to have aluminum except for Tom's of Maine and some stuff that looks like a crystal rock or something (no thanks. i'm not a product freak. yet.) I tried Tom's once or twice but it didn't work. Not only did I get smelly-- I think I was way smellier than if I hadn't used anything at all! So I went back to my Old Spice Sport or whatever ("Sport"... Like I "sport". why kind of word is that anyway? Sport.... sounds like the last word of someone who just got bit in half by an alligator...)

Anyway, last week I got paranoid again in the drugstore and saw a new Tom's. I bought this kind (just took a snapshot on roscoecam)

It said "odor prevention" so I figured maybe this kind took the emphasis off anti-perspirant which I don't need and this is just about odor (uch. i so hate the word 'odor' too. an Odor. sounds like a transyvanian hyena.)

Anyway, long story not short. I've been using that new Tom's stuff for a week and I'm not smelly! And I feel less stupider! (although this post might not be evidence of that) And yeah, I might not smell as 'cool' as I did when I was all sporty but whatever! This stuff got calendula, bitch!

(I don't like that word either. Calendula. Sounds like a bad name for a candle shop...)

ok bye!


PS. I think I may have written about aluminum before but I couldn't find where. If I'm repeating myself-- I blame aluminum!




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