An Explosion of Fiber

So today I was walking back from dog park chatting on the phone with a friend of mine who's all Mr. Healthy Eater Nutrition kind of guy. He started talking big about fiber. And how great fiber is. And how he eats a bowl of fiber cereal every morning. And how he feels more healthy. And how he makes better doodies and all that. He kind of sold me on the whole fiber thing. I was like, 'Ok. I'm up for feeling good! I'm up for better doody!' (apologies to people who don't like doody talk). So on the way home I stopped in the Healthy Eater Nutrition store and picked up this cereal:

Ew. Yawn. But I guess I've been lacking in psyllium too because I don't think anything I eat has psyllium. I mean there's no Psyllium Ranch Doritos. I also picked up a thing of blueberries and low-fat milk. I couldn't believe I was buying such a friggin boring cereal. It's been a long time since I've bought a box of cereal without a cartoon character spokesperson.

Anyway, I get to the kitchen and I look at this rabbit food looking stuff and decide to give it a shot. Feeling slightly old-mannish about the whole ordeal of getting a super fiber cereal and unexcited about the possibilities. But I trust Mr. Healthy Eater Nutrition guy etc. Of course, the cereal is in this impossible to open plastic bag. I stab it once with a knife and then tear at the hole to make it bigger. I guess I got frustrated fast because I literally ripped the thing apart and this rabbit food exploded all over my kitchen. (Which is the size of a kitchen on a boat). I literally couldn't see anything but brown fiber for a split second. Then when the fiber haze cleared I could see the fiber was everywhere. Everywhere I looked. Fiber. On the stove. In the spice rack. Under the fridge. In the toaster. In my shirt pocket. All in the sink. On the window sill. Covering the floor. Roscoe looked at me like, 'Why'd you do that?' I was like, 'Shut up Dopey McDopenstein'.

I got out the vacuum and used the hose thing (the hose thing has been at 1/3rd power every since the vacuum sucked up a sock and disappeared forever) so pretty much one by one I snarfed up the fiber mess. Fifteen minutes later I poured myself a bowl and added the blueberries. And ate it up. Just finished it actually. It tasted pretty good.

We'll see what happens next. I'll let you know how it goes...!

ok bye!


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