Out to Lunch

So today I was sitting at my computer in a t-shirt and boxers when I glanced down at my big date book and saw something written in the block for today.. 'I had to meet someone for lunch! At 1:00! Today! Fuck!'  I looked at the clock and it was like 12:47. I sat there for a minute and thought about what I should do... I realized I was just spacing out instead of figuring out a plan so.. Get up! Get dressed! And get out! Was the big idea. So I rushed around and got it together. I did a mad search for the wallet and headed a few blocks down the street to this little cafe place.

I got there like five after one and the person I was meeting wasn't there so I sat down alone to wait. The waitress came over and I ordered coffay. Within a minute I was bored out of my mind and started going through my wallet sifting through all my receipts and rearranging the cards or whatever.  I examined a mystery receipt until I finally placed it. After that was done I looked at my watch and it was1:12. I was a little bit aggravated now and looked over the menu wondering how long to wait before I just order something out of spite. After deciding I wanted the turkey club I saw a newspaper up on the bar and snagged it.  The waitress stopped by a few times and I kept putting her off- telling her I was waiting for someone.

Now it's like 1:20 and at the 20 minute mark I started to wonder if I was seriously being stood up. Pissed. At 1:25 I ordered the club sandwich. While waiting I remembered I have some leftover pork fried rice sitting in the fridge at home- which was sounding good to me instead of a turkey club. I'm sitting there feeling annoyed and go back to reading the news. I look at the top of the page and see the date 'Wednesday February 5th'. Now I'm a little extra mad because I'm like, ' This friggin paper is yesterday's paper! Uch!' And then it hits me... no it's not. It's today's paper. Today IS wednesday. The lunch thing IS tomorrow. Thursday. Today is not Thursday. It's Wednesday thus... the no show.

The waitress came with my sandwich and I stumbly explained how I had the wrong day and that's why the other person didn't show. She kind of gave me a smile like... it's ok... people get stood up sometimes. Like all sympathetic. Thinking I was making up a story. Uch. So I sat there eating my turkey sandwich (which sucked. fatty bacon.) and thought about how happy I would be in my alternate universe- me sitting at home in my underwear in front of the tv eating pork fried rice... if I had only known what dang day it was.

ok bye!