iPhone Rant Killer

So I have a few friends that have iPhones. They swear by their iPhones. They brag about the fancy features. On and on yadda yadda whatever GPS or whatever interweb sniky-app and the whatever flux flibber blah blah etc. The thing about it-- is I'm starting to get seriously annoyed with their dopey iPhones. And not because of the owner's half-delusional love/obsession for the wonked out gadget....

The reason I'm annoyed is because sometimes I'm not an easy person to talk to. I am prone to rants and lecturing people. I can fly off the handle on any stupid subject or go into attack mode for the hell of it. I'm not a total jerk but I like venting and telling stories.  I get worked up. So my style of phone conversation can be me talking/blabbering for up to a minute without taking a breath. I'm not always that way but when I do sometimes I say smart stuff or funny stuff along with the stupid stuff!

The problem with iPhone people is that their stupid junky iPhones are constantly dropping my calls. No warning. No staticy 'wait the phone is breaking up' heads up. One second we're talking--- the next they've vanished. But me, mid-rant, is usually unaware that the person is gone until I finish my rant. Then there's nho response. I throw out 'Hello?' into the silence concerned that I may have offended or crossed the line. Then another hello? Until I realize I'm talking to an iPhone person! And I see them calling in! Or I get hit with an actual busy signal!

Then it sucks extra because I'll say, 'OK. At what point did you lose me... ' And the person will say, 'You were just starting in on....' Which was like friggin 30 seconds to a minute ago!' Not only can I not get the energy up to re-rant. But I'm so pissed at the stupid phone that I'll usually launch into some new half-assed half-informed lecture about how the iPhone super sucks. I'll tell them how dialing 777-FILM is still faster than looking up movie times on the stupid fone interwebs. And how I bet the battery sucks! And the camera is crap! And how I still remain in the camp that it's all style over substance! Y'know what I'm saying!?.... Yo?.... You know what I'm saying?  Hello...    hello?

Son of a...

ok bye!


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