The New Fancy Phone Gaming Disappointment

So a while ago I got a new fancy phone. I was out of contract with AT&T and I got a deal on a Samsung Eternity. It's an ok iphone alternative. Now that I've had it for a while I can admit that I do wish I got an iPhone. Fine. There. I said it. Let's move on. But it's my phone and I'll deal with it until I drop it in a puddle and ruin it by accident.

My old phone was a Razr phone and I had two games on that phone. A Shrek adventure game. And bowling. Both solid games. And my little niece lovvved the Shrek game. It's a Mario style jumpy sidescroller and she is really good at it. Every time I go over there she's all about, 'Can I pway Sweck?' She's only 4 and it's way impressive watching her play and be actually good at a complex game like that.

Anyway, I knew my new Samsung phone needed to be better and cooler and more funnerer than the Raz-r to make up for the loss of the Shrek game (not available on this phone). The new phone did come with a coolio dice thingee. (The phone physically feels like dice in a cup when you shake it). Fine. I also bought Ms. Pac Man and another game called Bubble Bash (which is kind of like Bejeweled). Ms. PacMan was weak because the touch-screen updownleftright is harder than using a tactile number keypad. But I figured she might dig it. And Bubble Bash is actually a pretty coolio game. I play it alot. Totally simple and colorful. I was convinced she would like that.

PLUS, the phone has MobileTV (Live! Live TV which is admittedly pretty friggin sick. Only like 9 channels. But one of em is Cartoon Network.) So between the iffy Ms. PacMan and coolio Bubble Game and amazing Live TV-- I felt pretty sure I could erase the Shrek loss with my new fancy phone.

A week or so ago, I headed out totally prepared. Loaded new phone. We say our hellos. She feeds Roscoe treats. Then she asks for Shrek. I tell her I got a new phone! Brand new! She was like, 'Wif Scwek?' I was like, 'No ummm not wif Scwek but it's got cool stuff check it out!' I sit down with her and bust out Ms. PacMan. The onscreen arrow situation blows. It kept resetting by accident. She hated it. No problem. No problem. I expected that. I went to Bubble Bash. She played it for two minutes. Didn't like it. It was too simple. She wanted the adventure. Not popping stupid bubbles. She looked at me like, 'No Scwek?' I started to get flop sweat with a friggin 4 year old...

I went into a panic and dove head first into what I assumed would be my ace in the hole. Live TV! On the phone! (Which is sort of mindblowing to me). Of course, I completely underestimated how zero-impressive that would be to her. I think as far as she was concerned TV has probably always been on the phone. Plus, there was a whole regular tv right over there in the other room. With all the channels. She said, 'It just TV?' In my head I'm like, 'Not just TV... but live TV... on my... phone... live... oh forget it...'

I was on the ropes. I told her that I'd buy her a new game right on the spot! (Now miserable about my phones lack of iPhonery). I surf out there into this AT&T gaming wasteland and find a game called 'Disney Fairies'. And buy it for like $7.99. She seemed happy about the idea of it. I prayed it would be good. After the download we start it up-- we see Disney logo. Tinkerbell shows up. It starts playing girl music. I start feeling good again. Disneyfied redemption. I felt this game was gonna come thru.

Here's what it was like:

Totally sucked totally! Unplayable and horrible! She only wanted scwek game. She hated my new phone. A total flop. No schwek. No dice.

So she went back to playing with my true ace in the hole entertainment maker. Roscoe. Who never disappoints...

ok bye!

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