The Burger King Crown Conversation
Years ago, I was dating this girl and we took a road trip. We'd been dating a few months. Along the way we stopped in a Burger King. We ordered whatever and she sat down with the tray of food while I got napkins and stuff. On the counter by the cash registers-- I noticed they had those cardboardy Burger King crowns. I immediately took one, hooked the circle up, and put it on my head. It was way small on the biggest size so it was sort of sitting on top of my bald head. I strutted across the restaurant proudly like a king with the crown on my head and a big smile on my face. I caught a few giggles along the way. The girl I was with looked up at me with no sign of amusement. She looked annoyed.
I sat down with her and didn't mention the crown. Just pretended like there was nothing on my head and asked a random question.
Her question back was, 'Why do you think that's funny?'
And the conversation went like this.
I was like, 'What's not funny about it?'
She was like, 'Everything. What are you 5 years old?'
I was like, 'In some ways. I guess...'
She was like, 'Great.'
I was like, 'What's the big deal?'
I pointed at the crown on my head and said, 'This is stupid. And funny. Get it?'
She was like, 'I get it. Very funny. Please take it off.'
I was like, 'Why? Do you care what the people in the highway Burger King think?!'
Anyway, the conversation spiraled down into a question answer argument session about my inability to grow up and her inability to just get a kick out of something for the hell of it which turned into sort of an insult for insult conversation about our individual limitations and perceived flaws. Even after the conversation turned from jabby into serious-- I kept the crown on my head which I could see was really getting her angry. Maybe a dickmove on my part but whatever...
By the end of the conversation I realized we just weren't right for each other. We were looking for different things. She was looking for a guy who has moved past dopey childish gags-- and I was looking for someone who thought stuff like that is worth and smiley eye roll at the least-- and a request for her own crown at the most.