Plastic Grumpery

I don't know what it is with ATM cards--- Cash machine. Movie tickets. Drug store. Taxi cab. Trader Joes. Wherever. I stare at the stupid credit card machine and get confused by which way it's telling me to swipe my card. Inevitably I swipe it wrong then I flip and swipe the other way. I'm backwards (or backwards and reversed) on the first try almost every time. When I finally get it right I can clearly see the diagram in the way it's meant to be seen. Numbers up! Oh yeah! Duh! Or I get it! Or magnetic strip up! Obvious! I get it! But time after time I'll not be able to see it properly. It's like I have card swipe dyslexia.

I think it's time the whole credit card world decides on a universal swipe direction and stick with it! It's enough with the varieties this way or that way. (And no, I'm not interested in going into the world of 'Blink' where you like tap your card or whatever. Screw that! I like the security of the swipe! Feels more like a real power transaction! Maybe I'll get with the program and start tapping my card one day-- but I'm not going there yet!)

While I'm at it-- Can we be done with the handwritten signature thing already? Isn't technology at a point where it doesn't need me to sign something with a stupid pen or fake pen. Between the electronic screen signature thing and the overall whatevery attitude toward the seriousness of a signature-- my once unique scribbly signature has devolved into four loop de loops that look nothing like my name. Signatures used to be important! I guess it does make things feel a little 'official' when I sign-- but what really is the point? Like, what percentage of credit card disputes actually get won or lost based on the stupid signature? I'm guess .000035%? If that? A scammer owner can deny it! Or sign it wrong on purpose! And any crook can sign with some believable variation! They have a friggin practice reference on the back of the friggin card!

And lastly while I'm at it still! Any cash machine that still forces you to feed your card into the machine and then gives it back at the end of the transaction-- should be illegalized! It's like, 'Give it back right away or just let me swipe! Why do you need to hold it the whole time!? You're not the boss of me! Screw you!' And when we're done with our business-- make it totally clear so I'm not standing there waiting for the machine to reset and start over! No, I don't appreciate nor need the 'Thank You'. Just say, 'It is safe to walk away now! Go! Get outta here!' I'll take straight facts over fake politeness from a stupid machine any day! And you're creeping me out when you get personal anyway! So insincere! You say Thank You to everyone! Even the dick who just sneezed right in your stupid face, stupid machine!

ok bye!


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