The Uzbek Barber Misunderstanding
My local barbershop has three barbers. All from Uzbekistan. I go there once every couple months to get a proper haircut. In between haircuts I razor my own head with electric clippers but it's a sloppy job-- especially back of the neck and all that. I'm sort of lazy about it. I don't like using a straight razor and shaving cream because it makes me feel like Lex Luthor or Brando crazy or something. I usually just do up the electric razor before a shower or whatever..
Anyway, yesterday I headed to get a 'real' haircut at the Usbek barbershop. I grabbed the first magazine on the stack (Details) and sat down in the chair. I tell the Usbek barber what I want (the usual) "Triple zero razor all around, please" which basically is a tight razor shave that makes my whole head all short stubble. Head. Beard. Everything. All around. Same razor. All shorned up nice nice. Neck shaved etc.
We had a quickie hello hello conversation like:
Barber: You no have work today?
Me: Well, I should be. Umm... working...
Barber: You work from home.
Me: Yeah. Pretty much umm... sorta.
Barber: Where dog?
(Sometimes I bring Roscoe with me and tie him to a barber chair)
Me: He's home today. He has the day off.
Barber: Every dog day is day off...
Me: So true!
Then I went back to my magazine and he went back to shaving my whole head. When he got into shaving my neck and stuff I had to stop reading and close my eyes to avoid stubble shrapnel. Just let him do the under chin stuff...
All of a sudden he stops and looks at me and says, 'Do you like this' then he like bites his lower lip. Like he was trying to look cute.
I was like, 'Umm... yeah. I guess. I mean. I feel like.... cleaner afterwards or something.'
Then he points at me and says, 'No! You like this...' And he bites his lower lip again and looking at me all weird..
I started thinking like, 'Is this Usbek barber guy like-- hitting on me or something?' The lip biting was creeping me out. I just stared at him trying to figure out a way to tell him that getting my head shaved is pretty far away from what I 'like' in that way.
Then he says, 'You! (then he snaps his fingers) Do like this!' And he points at his face and bites his lip again.
Oh! OH! I got it! He wanted me to bite my own lip! Do like this! So he can like shave my chin when its flat or whatever. I was so relieved that it wasn't some way awkward Usbek barber with bizarre thoughts about what might be a turn-on for some people. Phew... and duh.
Anyway, my head is nicely shorn now! Thanks for the feedback from the picture I posted the other day.
All fixt now.