Sloth-Like Reflexes at the Deli
So the other day I was in the deli around the corner to pick up some beer and other goodies. I opened up the sliding fridge door to grab a six pack of Miller Lite bottles ... yes lite :-(... And I noticed as I took the beer out of the fridge case that the bottom of the cardboard 6 pack holder was like dripping wet. The beer had apparently had been sitting in like a pool of water or something. But I whatever it and started toward the counter holding the sixer by the cardboard handlegrip thing. I took like five steps and one of the bottles broke through the bottom of the cardboard holder and smashed all over the floor. At first I couldn't tell what happened and it made a big boompop noise so it sort of startled me. But I saw the bottle had broken thru and smashed.
The guy at the counter looked at me and I looked back at him as if to mentally say,
'I didn't do it... the bottom broke open because there was some water or something in the fridge case and it made the cardboard mushy I'm sorry I broke something on your floor but it really wasn't my fault. You should check in your fridge thing to clean up the water to prevent this sort of thing from happening. I don't think I should have to pay for it and...and... ' ...and I just stared at him still holding the sixer by the handle.
And he looked back at me to like mentally communicate something like,
'Schmuck! I know! But since the bottom of the six pack holder is falling apart- how bout putting your hand underneath to prevent anoth... '
Just then a second bottle broke through the bottom and smashed on the floor. And then I finally got the big idea to put my hand underneath it to prevent the whole bottom from breaking..
The deli guy was cool about it getting his mop or whatever but I could see him looking at me and wondering where my reflexes were to stop the second bottle from falling. He must of wondered what I was thinking as I stood and stared at him opposed to just frickin putting my hand under the thing to prevent the second smashy.
I get the feeling if I went to the doctor and he tested my reflexes by hitting my knee with a ball peen hammer- he'd time my response on his wrist watch...