Welcome to 2010! 50 Resolutions!

Hey! Wtf with the 2010? Already! 2010?! Where the hell is my robot, dammit! They promised me a personal robot by now! I'm still sitting here with a mini-dinosaur that I wind up and it shoots sparks out of its mouth (only sometimes!) while it walks around like a drunk?! PLUS, nobody's been to or come from Mars yet! And I ain't been weightless yet or nuttin! Liars!

Anyway, I'm glad 2009 has come and gone! It was a bit of a rough year... that went by too fast too.

Hey! Here's some New Years Resolutions I'm gonna do! And I'll let you know later how its going with them!

I figure if I write em up I might actually keep some...


1. Keep my word. (I say I do things and then I don't do them. Or I say I won't do things-- and then I do. That's out.)

2. Continue to not eat red meat. (Ain't done it and ain't doin it. Chicken less and less now too. It's not so hard.)

3. Obsess less about my dog. I love my dog and he's a nice guy but I gotta avoid tuning into his emotions-- because he forgets everything as soon as a squirrel runs by.

4. Stop yelling for the stupid butler! There is no butler here!

5. Stop buying celery. I never eat it and it gets all floppy too fast. It's only a good idea in theory.

6. Respect ten dollar bills more.

7. Slowly ween myself off Left 4 Dead 2.

8. Lose 10 lbs. It's taken me four years to not lose ten pounds and so far I haven't yet.

9. Don't do stuff for people who wouldn't do the same thing for me back if it was flipped. Screw that.

10. Get rid of some of the stuff in here! There's too much stuff in here!

11. Listen to more new music. I've been finding myself backsliding into old standbys and it's not a good place to linger too long.

12. Stop visiting websites that annoy me. Stop listening to talk radio that annoys me. Stop wearing clothes that annoy me.

13. Try to motivate to change my sleepwalking and sleepeating to sleepjogging and sleepshowering.

14. Stop assuming someone doesn't like me because they don't want to talk to me.

15. Don't feel the need to fill every silence with something.

16. If there's a jukebox-- always put money in there and pick songs I like. Not songs I think everyone will like. I'm not the DJ. I'm sitting in a beer bar. 

17. Clean my blinds.

18. Never order a pay-per-view movie if it's under 40% on Rotten Tomatoes. There are no gems down there.

19. Buy socks.

20. Accept the fact that certain clothes won't ever come back around again for me and get em outta here.

21. Stop keying my home phone number into random cars for no reason.

22. If my dog wants to run down the street-- run down the street.

23. Only buy fruit from the farmer's market.

24. Order less take-out. Buy a fish. Put it in a pan. Cook it. Eat it. Dinner. Done. Cheaper.

25. Get my two-headed dragon holding American flags tattoo removed. Although I never really see it because it covers my entire back and butt... I think I've outgrown it. 

26. Drop the need to explain myself when I'm 100% right.

27. Trust pitbulls more.

28. Accept that I'm not gonna be the smartest guy in the room unless it's a 3rd grade classroom or something... and even then.

29. Get money. Put in bank account. Pretend its not there.

30. Return the things that need to be returned before they get buried or past due.

31. Read three books this year. At least two... Finish one for sure.

32. Don't bring ice cream or chips in the house.

33. Be less generous with compliments.

34. Remember to take my camera with me everywhere.

35. Never be embarrassed to order the cheapest glass of wine.

36. If I really can't sleep-- just get up and do something.

37. Pray at least a minute a week. You never know with that stuff.

38. Show respect in some way to every soldier I see. Even if it's a nod.

39. Don't assume I can change someone elses bad habits. They might like em anyway.

40. Don't assume I can replace a bribe with personal charm.

41. Get ready. Get set. Because something very big or serious or something is gonna happen soon.

42. Always have one cool thing on me that isn't electronic.

43. Remember to never buy anything at Starbucks or Banana Republic or the Apple store.

44. Buy a decent wrench.

45. Don't buy anything I wouldn't dig out of a garbage can.

46. Go to more Rangers games and one Giants game.

47. Try to avoid conversations about Idol with people who hate Idol.

48. If I don't know how to pronounce something on the menu I should at least try and say it instead of pointing like a dope.

49. Don't take five hours to do something that should take 20 minutes.

50. Finish it. Even if it sucks.

51. Respect the Force.

ok bye!



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