Rude Dog Sniff Theory

Warning: This is pretty hardcore canine so if you're not down with dog posts you probably should stop now.


I'm pretty friggin fascinated with my dog's sense of smell. It's pretty spectacular. He can stupidly smell a gross "delicious" used chicken wing in the gutter from a half-block away. If I quietly open a jar of peanutbutter in the kitchen he can smell it from the other room and come running. It's gotta be pretty amazing just walking down the street in the city for a dopey dog.  So many smelly street smells!! From food to urine to... umm...  well I guess that pretty much covers it. Food and urine. Those seem to be the biggies.

Anyway, when dogs smell other dogs--  there is apparently alot of information transferred in a few seconds. Who knows wtf with the butt smelling and why but there is definite communication happening. And I've noticed there seems to be an etiquette involved when a dog checks out another dog. Some dogs are polite about it. Like they smell the butt for a few seconds. Then smell the crotch. Then stare in the face. Then maybe more sniff. Wag tails. Gathering basic facts. What kind of dog are you? Would I do it with you? How old are you? Are you mental? Would you be in my pack if the humans mess up bad and we get to take over like Planet of the Dogs and eat burritos whenever we want!? Stuff like that...

But there are some dogs who seem impolite about the process. They're rude. Like they go in and take a deep butt sniff and linger there--- smelling smelling smelling smelling. Way too much butt smelling. I think smelling too much is like a violation of personal dog space-- and being very grabby with personal information. I can see on Roscoe's face change when another dog doesn't understand the etiquette. He hates it. And I know he's gonna attack the other dog if I let it go on for too long. Roscoe doesn't like it when the dog gathers too much personal info via smell. It's like <sniff sniff> Ah! You were separated from your mother too soon.. That sucks. <sniff sniff> Ah! You're afraid of the vacuum cleaner... uh huh <sniff sniff> You have nightmares about giant rabbits... interesting. Sad. <sniff sniff> You got banged by a Doberman once. Uh huh... <sniff> Eventually Roscoe will attack growly style. He'll be like, 'Get the fruck away from me!!!'

Why do some dogs have to pry? <sniff sniff>

ok bye!