May 24 2011

Movie Reviews To Come!

Hey! I know I’ve been slacking on movays but they’ve been sorta meh for way long! But this summer coming back full blast reviewing every dang stuperhero movie that’s coming! Lantern, America, X-Mens! And Hangovers and the whatnots!

If you wanna read some quickie reviews right now this second– Mike Anthony wrote us up a six pack of reviews for your persusials…


Subject: six pack of movie reviews
Date: Mon, 23 May 2011 18:30:24 -0400
From:
To: [email protected]

Hi Todd….have seen six films in last several weeks…thought I’d try something different and do a “spring/summer six-pack of reviews”…..hope you can use it….(pleaee let me know). For the sake of time ( and the sake of condensing the 6 reviews) will not do the 3 good/bad things….as I said; hope you can use it! I included an intro to help explain to your readers what this mash up is about….it begins below:

Over the past month and a bit, I’ve seen half a dozen films. As some will still be playing in major cities or in the so-called “discount” (second run) theatres, I have condensed the six movies into one large wrap-up I call a “Start-of-Summer Six-pack of reviews: Bridesmaids, Priest, Thor, Fast Five, Hanna, Scream 4″…enjoy

SCREAM 4
Rating 3.5 (part way between “good” and “Like a lot”)
This film is better than the third installment (in my opinion) and the opening scenes create a confusing but enjoyable movie-within-a-movie multi-layered montage. It starts by returning to the roots of making fun of itself, the entire genre, and at the same time keeping you guessing. My best synopisis would be: it’ll never be as ground-breaking as the first film was, but it does return to basics that made movie number one so good/different. It is an enjoyable film, and after a long break in the franchise, is a better-than-usual entry of the teen-horror, fun-horror vein. Some really cool (but short lived) characters and scenes are incorporated here; especially the “cut” (pun very much intended) with Anna Paquin and Kristen Bell. If you are in your 30’s or 40’s and likely LOVED the first Scream movie; this is probably a great DVD for you to enjoy. Your kids may not get all the fuss, but that’s okay….you will. Great for the right audience.

Hanna
Rating 4 (liked it a lt, few issues but a good film)
Hanna was a gritty movie about espionage and the renegade “agent on the loose” theme is twisted into the tale of a young teen female protege (trained by her on-the-run dad) that works surprisingly well. Jumpy yet fast-n-vicious action scenes, a frigid female antagonist (played quite well by Cate Blanchett; perfect as the icy villain you BELIEVE could bite your face off) and an amazing teen actress (Saorise Ronan) all play a part in making a rather good film, that just may deserve a sequel. I find this one hard to discuss without giving too much away, but I can say there is some great imagery and cinematography that make for images as visually striking as they are poignant. Good film, smart film, amazing young actress at the center of it all. Enjoy on DVD if you haven’t yet.

Fast Five
Rating 3.5
This movie was probably the one entry in the series that would be enjoyable for those of us who aren’t enamoured with souped up street races, pimped out Civics, and those shiny cars with the neon light and the thumping music. While hardcore street race fans may lament it, I liked the fact they cut some races and turned it into a pretty good heist flick….just like the “Ocean’s 11” franchise, every character has a role to play in the complex scheme to get the dough and make the REAL bad buys pay. You must remember that with these movies: there are the main “bad guys” (actually the heroes of the film), law enforcement (playing both good AND bad guys) and the REALLY BAD GUYS (the ones the main crew are out to even the score with). For action afficianados, a very good choice….especially when Vin Diesel and The Rock (Dwayne Johnson) finally rumble. Two bald baddies thumping each other is as satisfying here are wrestling was in the 80’s before we all got too aware. See it in theaters if you need an adrenalin boost, or at home at your convenience.

Thor 3D
Rating 3.5 for most of us, rated 4 for hardcore Avengers fans(a Marvel comic series team Thor was part of)
A lower-tier comic hero makes an upper-tier film. That’s all you have to know. Not as “iconic” as a Spider-Man or a Batman, but much better than Iron Man 2, destroys The Green Hornet, and makes a great show out of a hammer wielding-norse god. In fact, I can admit I never would’ve dreamed this character could translate this well to the big screen. The 3D is pretty good, and I could score this movie higher if only I was more of “Thor” comic-fan. It’s kind of like seeing a “CSI:Crime Scene Investigation” movie based on “Archie” the cell-phone forensic guy: he’s worthy in small doses, but not what you’d expect in the lead role. Still; they do it well enough I can recommend this one….see it now in theatres if you are a fan of well-done action or comic-hero movies.

Priest 3D
Rating: 2
I needed some 3D a couple weeks back, and that’s what drove me to try this one out. My advice:skip it, unless you can see for free, or somehow knew about this graphic-comic based storyline beforehand. It’s okay in spots, there’s a cool scene or two….but overall it’s just as muddy a mess as the 3D is in this film:dim; hard to follow, and not worth the effort. Lead character Paul Bettany is starting to get too-used to doing these religious-themed battle-movies (ie: Legion)…if you want to see him in something good; dig up the high-seas adventure “Master & Commander” from the early 2000’s. Avoid this.

Bridesmaids
Rating 4 for men, 5 for women who like to laugh
What you heard is true! This is like a (female-centered) updated version of “The Hangover”. Get over it and see this movie, guys! If everyone can laugh at The Hangover, why can’t guys laugh at this “supposed” chick flick? While the female-relationship dynamic gets a little cloying at the end, the first 3/4ths of the film more than carries it to success. Hilarious sexual parodies, great ensemble humor, and some terrific food-poisoning scenes will both shock and please the guys…..especially the gents that figure women are “too dainty” to use the bathroom just like guys do. We can all learn the lesson of what can go wrong after some bad, bad, brazillian food! Current SNL darling Kristen Wiig proves that Lorne Michaels is right: the is one of the best to ever appear on SNL. Former Saturday Night cutie Maya Rudolf delviers as well, but “Mike & Molly” star Melissa McCarthy steals the show, in my opinion. She just delivers and delivers like you wouldn’t believe, taking the odd-ball pal role to new heights (get worried Zach Galifianakis, get REALLY worried). Rarely do I laugh out loud at movies, but I did this time. See it, see it now, and see it again on DVD. Women will adore it endlessly, men will simply love it and be puzzled by it ( we just don’t get the maid-of-honor thing and the role friendship plays for these gals) and yet EVERYONE should see it.

11

Rico says:

Thanks for the movie update! Now I know what to see, skip, or wait for a rental.

Anonymous says:

FUCK DENG ! FUCK HIM IN THE ASS WITH AN UMBRELLA !

the REAL weeze says:

OOOHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! THE REAL WEEZE IS ALWAYS FIRST BITCHESSSS!!! THE REAL WEEZE LIKES FAT CHICKS AND WOULD LOOOOOVE TO BE “QUEENED” BY A HOTTIE LIKE MELISSSAAA MMACATHNEY BITTCCHHEESSSSS!!!!!

Anonymous says:

Now I’ve seen a lot of bullshit. Angel dust. Switchblades. Sexually perverse photography exibits involving tennis rackets. But this. This is the greatest thing ever.

Satan says:

Yet another douche who repeats the same shit over and over, get a life you loser.

Now Hear This! says:

1. Leave Mr. Deng alone!

2. Are you gay Weeze?

3. Enough already!

the REAL weeze says:

NNNNOOOOOO!!!!! THE REAL WEEZE IS AS GAYYY AS A THREE DOLLAR BILLL ROLLED UP ANDDD SHOVEDDD UP ELTON JOHNS BUTT WITH A BANANANANA!!! BITCHESSSSS!!!!

the REAL weeze says:

THAT WASNNN’T ME BITCHESSS!!! THE REAL WEEZE WOULD NEVER MAKE CRUDE GAYYY REFERENCES OBOUT A GENIUS LIKE SIRRR ELTON JOHN!!! BITCHESSSSS!!! AND TO PROVE IT IM INVITING THE FAT CHICK FROM THE BRIDESMADES MELISSSA MCCARTNEY TO SIT ON MY FACE SO I CAN GUESSS HER WEIGHT BITCHESSSS!!!!

Donny says:

those were actually good reviews! not a single spoiler. just got back from watching thor in 3d and he hit the review nail right on the head! Thanks for this mash up 🙂

Mike Anthony says:

Hey odd Toddy…you gonna plug this into the movie review section or what?
I want official listing!!

oddtodd7 says:

will do 🙂

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