3:10 To Yuma

So when I was in Caly, I went across the street to catch this 3:10 to Yuma which seems to have magically appeared in the movie theater out of the blue. In honor of its out of the blue-ness I bought me a blue squishee (or whatever the hell comes out when they tap the spinny churner). I've always liked the flavor of blue. I promptly stained my shirt on the first sip to honor it. Anyway, I found a seat among the gaggle in the half-filled theater and waded through previews. Most of the flicks looked pretty shoddy. Some whodunit involving a returning soldier from Iraq starring Tommy Lee Curtis? Yawn. Viggo Mortenberg putting on some russian? accent for some future Kronen-flop. Whatever....

Ok. 3:10 to Yuma. I know it's a remake-- but it's still a bad title. Sounds like some high school showdown movie involving yams. So there's that. But I was kind of psyched for it-- even though I don't really like most Westerns. The old classic Westerns are usually too goofball for me to get through. With the zooming in. And the whistling music. And the bad acting. And I feel bad for the horses getting slammed around. And the never running out bullets. There's only one Western that I've ever loved. Unforgiven.

How could you not just love a scene like this...

ANYWAY, I gotta say. Even though he seems like a real dick offscreen, Russell Crowe really friggin does a good job with his job (which is totally hiding the fact that he seems like a dick offscreen). You can pretty much track on a timer how good an actor is. Time how long it takes the actor to wash away any evidence of their stupid self offscreen. Like, someone like Jack Nicholas pulls that off usually in a couple minutes. Great actor. Someone like Keenu Reeves takes 45 minutes if he gets there at all. I think Russell Crowe is an under 5 minute guy. Christian Bale who's also in this flick is like under 7 usually. Crowe's sidekick was creepy good too. (I couldn't place his face till the end. He was the red-headed girl's boyfriend in Six Feet Under. The bi-sexual guy or whatever. Yah he was good.)

Oh yeah, the movie. It's good too! Although it works really hard throughout to duck just in time before becoming great-- it's a solid good flick. Yadda yeah, it has some issues. Things were too easy. The bad guy doesn't know enough to stay out of sight right after doing a robbery? Hey want to escape? No? Really? And severe gunshots were treated like light flesh wounds. But for the most part I watched this movie with a chewing tobacco stained grin on my face-- spitting thru my teeth now and again right onto the back of the guy's head in front of me. And every time the guy turned around to complain, I stuck my six shooter in his face and asked him how he likes his new shampoo...

Three Good Things About this Movie

- Russell Crowe was manipulatively excellent.
- People you don't expect to die at all are all of a sudden at the bottom of a gorge all dead. Surprise! Gotta like that...
- I laughed out loud maybe a dozen times which is pretty friggin good for a goofball Western.

Three Bad Things About this Movie

- There was a bunch of times where I rolled my eyes at something or other.
- The ending was too back and forthy on not committing either way.
- Emotionally I didn't care about anyone and it went long...

All in all, it's hard to really blab too much about this movie (even though I just did). It's a rock solid Western that isn't Unforgiven- but I forgive it for not being that. And if it brings some more Western remakes back round these parts, I'd take one of those any day-- rather than a remake of Tron or whatever other garbage they have in store for us...

CHYATT???<<<