Anchorman

So today I called up a couple friends and we decided to eat lunch during a noon matinee of Anchorman. We got sandwiches and water and yodels. Anyway, we go to see the movie in the old local movie house which has a big theater downstairs and then little ones upstairs. We hike upstairs and sit down in the theater. There was literally nobody else there. So we busted out our sandwiches and started eating lunch. Meanwhile noon (when it's supposed to start) comes and goes. The movie hasn't started and no one has joined us in the theater. 12:05. 12:10. They weren't starting the movie so we started yelling, 'Hey! Hello! You can start the movie now!' 'Hello?!' Nobody could hear us. We yelled more. It was fun yelling in a theater. But then it got annoying. So we started arguing over who would go downstairs to tell them to start the movie- but we were all too lazy. Finally I busted out my cellphone and called information and got the number of the theater. After listening to the recorded message I got the office number and called that. Someone picked up and I explained how I was calling from upstairs and how we were waiting for Anchorman to start. She said she'd send someone upstairs. This dude finally came down the aisle to tell us we were in the wrong theater. Anchorman was next door. Dopes. The three of us.

We head next door and find seats just as Anchorman starts up. Ok. I'm a huge fan of Will Ferrell and am happy that he's a movie star and all that but ever since he busted out I've wondered what roles he could take on. I mean, what do you do with a Will Ferrell? Right now there's only three ways to go. There's the yelling angry Ferrell (which is my favorite). There's the drunk in his underwear Ferrell. And there's the cocky neighborly Ferrell. All good. He could sit there all drunk and yell in my face all day long and I wouldn't be bored for a second. But Anchorman wasn't a good fit. Ever since the previews I've been looking at it sideways sorta like, 'Does that movie look stinky? It sort of looks like something went wrong there...'

Something did go wrong. The whole thing seemed like it was a rush job. A cram session. Like they had two weeks to throw a script together- this thing was a mess. And some of the jokes fell so far off the register that I'm not sure if they even qualified as jokes. It was just lame. I appreciated them trying to do something different by throwing in an animated type scene or some dopey cameo stuff- but that still seemed like the product of a rush job panic. Eventually it became unclear on what this movie wanted to be. Was it a spoof? Was it a stoner film? Was it a comedy? I don't know what it was really. All I know is that the Ferrell I've come to really like is much better than this movie. I just wanted to rip the stupid moustache off halfway thru and walk out.

Granted there were some funny moments but for the most part it was the physical comedy that made me laugh. When the news team is walking thru a park eating fast food and blatantly throwing garbage on the ground- that's funny to me. When a burrito hits someone in the face- that's funny to me. Stuff like that. I did laugh a bunch of times. Maybe 8-10x in all. Everytime I laughed it was just a glimpse of the movie this should have been. Eventually, I got tired of the 70's schtick (which wasn't milked enough) and the whole dumb plot. And I got tired of the Ferrell. In the next movie all I want is my Ferrell as a dad. With a family. All mental in a fight with his neighbor or whatever. No more costumes. No more acting. He's good as is. Stick him in a normal setting and just let him do his thing. Unfortunately who knows what his thing is gonna be though.. just look at his sign-me-up-I'll-do-anything-just-pay-me smorgasbord...

Three Good Things About This Movie

- Steve Carell is loaded up with good lines and he's frickin a funny f**ker.
- Jack Black stops by and kicks it up a notch. He should stop in on every movie for like 2 minutes.
- I did like the sex scene and Christina Applegate looked hot.

Three Bad Things About This Movie

- Once you see subtitles for a barking dog, you know something has gone completely off the rails... in the bad way.
- Not enough of the yelly Ferrell.
- There was nothing to care about in the whole movie.

All in all I guess this movie is for hardcore Ferrell fans maybe sorta. But in reality it's a video rental at best. I really don't know what else to say about it. It was weak and watery and the laughs were like one every 10 minutes and it was overly dumb and also cocky showoffy with the 'look how funny we are!' type of crap. If you're really bored and need a quick cheap laugh, just sneak up on someone taking a nap and throw an open box of cereal at them. Done and done.

Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow.

<<<chyatt?