Assault on Precinct 13

Ethan Hawke: I have problems!

Laurence Fishburne: I'm a big criminal!

Drea DeMatteo: I have makeup on and look at my legs!

The Plot: I am exciting!

Ja Rule: Blahdy blah blah!

John Leguzamo: I'm jittery! I'm funny and jittery!

Brian Dennehy: My career is in a urinal.

Familiar Woman: I've been in alot of movies but no one knows my name!

Random Guy: Ug! I'm the random guy! That means I'm dead soon! Damn!

The Plot: Ummm. The phones and cellphones are out. And the radio is out. And no one reacts to big explosions. Go with it!

Evil People Outside: We have guns! We're coming in!

Ethan Hawke: No you're not! We won't let you! 

Drea DeMatteo: I'm smoking a cigarette!

Ja Rule: Blahdy blah blah!

John Leguazamo: Hey! Over here! Look at me! Look! I'm all jittery!

Evil People Outside: We have guns and we will shoot them at you now!

(sound of gun fire)

Random Guy: Ow! Someone shot me! I'm dead now!

Brian Dennehy: I need a new agent or something. I'm too good for this.

The Plot: I'm starting to get irrational! I am made the sense as much is this sentence!

Ethan Hawke: I'm too skinny and my skinniness make my teeth look extra snaggly! 

Ja Rule: Blahdy blah!

Laurence Fishburne: I want a gun! I am a mean criminal!

Ja Rule: Blahdy blah!

John Leguoozamo: I think I thought of something! Wait... no I didn't.

Ethan Hawke: Let's shoot back at them!

Ja Rule: Blah!

(sound of gun fire)

Familiar Woman: I'm going outside!

Drea DiMatteo: In some light I am super hot! In other light not so much for some reason!

Laurence Fishburne: I'm Morpheus! I was in Apocalypse Now! Now I am a criminal!

John Legamazonoid: Ow! Someone shot me in the head! Now I'm dead and not so jittery anymore!

Ethan Hawke: I need a sandwich or something! My cheeks are weird!

John Carpenter: I made Ghosts of Mars? I must be on drugs or something.

Evil People Outside: We doing the worst assault ever! We're bad assaulters!

The Plot: Wait what's been going on? I haven't been paying attention!

Familiar Woman: Why did I go outside? That was dumb! I'm dumb!

John Legammonid: I'm still dead and very not jittery!

Evil People Outside: We are shooting at you again now!

(sound of gun fire)

Drea DiMatteo: I am sexy!

Brian Dennehy: My career has been urinalized. I'm gonna call my agent! Arrgh! No I'm not!

Familiar Woman: Look it's snowing!

The Plot: I'm gonna force a bad twist to try and fix this mess!

Ethan Hawke: Oy vei!

(sound of gun fire)

Evil People:  Now we got you!

Laurence Fishburne: No you don't!

Evil People: Ow! We're all shot now!

Ethan Hawke: I'll get you next time Morpheus!

(roll credits)