Be Kind Rewind

I went to this movie for one reason and one reason only! I felt like I was slacking on the movay review section of this site and as far as I'm concerned you all owe me! Big time! Oh the places I go!

Grr... I staggered out of the house last night with a friend of mine to see this craptacular movie and picked up snacks along the way (combos, watermelon chunks, york peppermint patty, and one string cheese). I'm writing this review the morning after and this flick now feels like it was all a bad dream. One of those confusing annoying dreams that don't even warrant a second thought for any sort of interpretation. Like I went to sleep right after eating too much meat loaf. Literally 2 minutes into this movie it started going downhill and it didn't stop until it sluiced down into a muck of unfunny lines and lazy sentimentality. There was so much so very very wrong with this movie I seriously don't even know where to start.

How bout the premise? Ready? Jack 'Mr. Overstay' Black  hangs out in a video store and sleeps in a trailer directly next to a giant power plant but he thinks the power plant is trying to control his brain or something. (btw great place to park your trailer if that's the case. no it's not funny.) So he goes to sabotage the power plant and ends up being all magnetic man like it's 1983 and I'm watching Small Wonder or something. He goes to the video store (a store that hasn't yet figured out that VHS tapes are obsolete. neither do the few no-personality customers.) And he erases all the tapes with his magneto superpowers! Mos 'Mumbles' Def works there and he freaks out because all the tapes are erased and his boss is gonna be mad! Oh no! Their solution? Re-film every movie in the store themselves! And action!

Ok. To be honest, I really do have room in my dumb brain to accommodate a plot that stupido. There's been worse starting points. The problem with this flick tho was everything on screen was as fun as a kid who picks his nose and immediately wants to hold your hand. (except Mia Farrow who I just felt a little sad for.) The 'remakes' were nowheres near as funny as they coulda shoulda have been. In fact, the whole movie was filmed as if it was one of their terrible remakes of the movie itself. Cheap and awful looking. Like it was shot on the backlot at Troma. And to boot they slap on some redonkulous undertone of seriousness involving some long-forgotten blues guy. Yawn!

As I stared at this "film" I seriously couldn't believe how blazingly awful it was. I felt like it was mocking me the whole time for not having the balls to walk out. And Jack Block better friggin stop smelling his own farts and smarten up or he's gonna find himself sleeping on a bunk bed with McLovin on some horrible Fox sitcom in a couple years. And no, I didn't miss the whole point. I get it. It's asposed to be a "whimsical" film-- but this rudderless junker just played like a bong hit whim.

Three Good Things About this Movie

- I think I laughed like 3 or 4 times.
- I did like the Ghostbusters thing.
- I liked the camouflage.

Three Bad Things About this Movie

- I think I laughed like 3 or 4 times.
- I just have a hard time launching my brain into fantasy world when it's grounded in real world crap like business and copyright law.
- If this movie was directed by and starred Rob Schneider it would have gotten the treatment it deserved.

All in all, I obviously thought this movie sucked. Yadda, I do dig the idea of no-budget remakes of movies. But if they really wanted to play in that world, just do a dozen of em and slap them together as one movie! I'd probably have dug the idea of a dozen or so cheapey 10-minute remakes of Ghostbusters, Rush Hour, Apocalypse Now, Robocop etc...all strung together for fun. Just drop the crap with a dopey "plot" and give the people what they want! Instead of an over the shoulder tossoff that nobody asked for...