So I just got back from seeing the Bug movie. I simply couldn't bring myself to see Pirates of the Whatthefukwaytoolongians. Two hours and 47 minutes? Why such extended punishment? What did we do to deserve that? Even the biggest die-hard Pirates fan must have been like, Oy...2:47.... And forget Shrek. I don't need to sit through that fancy schmancy trash heap in edge-of-seat anticipation to see Shrek scratch his butt. (The money shot?) So this Bug movie was the only hope this weekend. I hate bugs alot. So I figured I might like it.

On the way there I picked up a chicken wrap, bbq potato chips, and watermelon chunks.  As soon as I sat down I started in on the chicken wrap and it didn't taste right. Too chewy maybe. So after a couple bites I wrapped it back up and put it back in my bag. But every ten minutes or so I'd think about the wrap. I'd wonder if it was as bad as I remembered. It kept calling out to me. Tempting me. So finally I took it out of my bag, unwrapped it and touched it to the gross theater floor under my seat and put it back in my bag. Killing it from edibility. Worked like a charm!

So Bug. It's actually a friggin surprisingly dang good (greatish) flick--- sneakily disguised as awful.

The movie starts off moseying along in Nowheresville, USA. Honky tonk desolation and desperation. Dropping characters here and there. Right from the getgo I was totally onboard. The dingy colors. The slow pace. Hard core loneliness and all that. Hints of Crazy drizzled on top here and there. A creepy guy showed up. He seemed like a nice guy with a murderer vibe or something. Harry Connick showed up like all roided out. Whatever. All the acting across the board was pretty friggin solid.

Then the "bugs" come and someone cracked the door for Crazy and it flooded the room. Before you knew it, you looked around the place and Crazy had seeped in through the sides of the windows. Bubbled up thru the carpet. It was in the lights. Everywhere. For a movie that was pretending to be sleepy-- Crazy took over wicked fast. Fly strips everywhere already? At first I didn't dig it. Too much Crazy too fast. But the best thing about this flick was Crazy just kept coming and never stopped. I couldn't believe how far it went. For the last half-hour, I was in a state somewhere between laughing, gagging and eyerollingly groany. My feelings about this flick kept shifting. Almost minute to minute. One minute I'd think it was the worst crap ever. The next I'd be blown away by its high level of insane awesomeness. More often the latter.

In the end, unfortunately this movie had flaws deep enough to keep it from being truly great.  In retro, everything did happen too fast. She went along just a little too easy. The reaction of the outside world was too inconsistent and shabby. Harry Connick's character in particular was too out of character throughout. The doctor was too misleading and alone. Whatever though. On the walk home, I felt something on my neck. I shook my head with a twitch. I was suspicious of my arms. I sensed this flick was crawling all over me-- and I knew I just was exposed to something that succeeded outwrong .

Three Good Things About this Movie

- A bunch of the shots were just straight out surreally kooky.
- The loneliness of the woman whoever was nicely heartbreaking. (And I loved the moment when she figuredout exactly who she was).
- There was a creepy reality to falling down that particular brand of stairs.

Three Bad Things About this Movie

- It needed one more beat before plunging headlong.
- Where'd all that tinfoil come from?
- The marketing is a bait and switch.

All in all, I gotta say I did dig this flick. I had random bursts of solo laughter in the theater which made me feel mental. There was something about the slippy contagiousness of that breed of nutty that was sickeningly good-- like high wire meth-like lunacy. But above all, I had to appreciate the fact that this flick could have easily just been about scary horrible bugs that devour you from the inside out-- and instead it pulled a neat switcheroo by being nothing but that.