Dear Benafleck,

I saw your Daredevil movie tonite and I didn't like it very much. I am writing to you to ask for my money back. I know you have lots of money because you and your girlfriend "J.Lo" both insist on making sure everyone knows that you're rich and famous. So it shouldn't be a big deal for you to cut me a check for $9.50. (I also invested in wasabi peas and root beer before going in to the movie but I am willing to absorb the cost and take a loss on that.)

Everyone in the theater was very excited to see a movie, Benafleck. During the Hulk preview and X-Men preview people actually cheered. They were psyched up to see a good superhero movie. But nobody cheered for your movie, Benafleck. People only shouted out stuff like 'Where's Spiderman?' which got a big laugh and 'Nice tits!' at your co-star Jennifer 'my schtick is ass I kick' Gardener. When the person shouted 'Nice tits!' It got a loud laugh. And I agreed with his remark. But it was unfortunate that we needed to provide our own entertainment. That was your job. Toward the end the people in the theater were yelling stuff like 'Lame!' and 'That's stupid!' and no one laughed then. No one was entertained. People started leaving before the movie ended. And I get the feeling if your movie was half-good the people in the audience would have loved it. 

Your movie really didn't have anything to offer. It had no cool stunts. It had no cool fights (with the bad editing you could barely even follow them). And it wasn't funny. Colon Ferrill is obviously a dick and proved himself to be the worst comicbook movie villain in the history of cinema. He took the long standing title away from 'Nuclear Man' who was in Superman IV: The Quest for Peace. Somehow I'm used to my supervillains having more than a very fake scar on their forehead and the ability to throw straight. Did he really need to point at his own head after hitting something dead center- to make sure we all knew what his deal was? Bullseye. I got it. He's a dick. Did the makeup person even care that his Bullseye scar was on crooked and off center sometimes? Did anybody care? My guess is no.

But I did not hate your movie, Benafleck. I watched it with the same level of interest I have when I watch the weather channel or something. It was informative. I learned something. I learned that (movie) Daredevil sucks and that it is a crime for people to pay money for something like this. In the movie it is Kingpin that is the master criminal. But in reality it is the producers of this movie that are the true bad guys. As they are the ones that are stealing from the innocent.

After at least 25 overhead swooping shots of the city and 40+ shots of your boots and then panning up at the non-greatness of Daredevil- it was enough. The same shots came up so many times I wondered if the movie had started over and I just didn't realize it. And your costume made you look a bit silly if you don't mind me saying so. Sort of like the Gimp dressed in red. I wanted to drum my fingers on top of your head. 

Anyway Benafleck, I hope I didn't hurt your feelings and I was just trying to be helpful. You are partly responsible for this movie so I would appreciate it if you would please send a check for $9.50 to Odd Todd at PO Box 187 New York NY 10014. 



PS If you wanna throw in a pack of wasabi peas I wouldn't mind..

PPS. Say hi to J.Lo. She has a nice butt.