Last night I got sort of antsy and decided to check out a flick. So I called up a friend of mine and asked if he wanted to see Assault on Precinct 13. He didn't because he heard it sucked and suggested seeing that flick about Dennis Quaid and the corporate whatever situation. But I wasn't into that. So we ended up with Finding Neverland which was a bad call because I'm sure either of those others would have been better. Fortunately to ease the pain we both picked up a 40oz bud and some wasabi peas. A most excellent combination. I didn't think through on the big bottle smuggling but fortunately I had a pouch sweatshirt on and put it in there and closed my jacket. Problem solved.
After sitting through a bunch of crap previews this movie started up and within 20 seconds I was bored and I stayed bored straight through. There was alot wrong with this flick and not alot right. The Depp was weak and too toned down. Kate Winslet's watery eyed exasperation was whatevery. The plot was skippy and meandering and sugary. The accents were annoying. None of the characters kicked in. The kids were bad actors and sometimes looked weird like from The Grudge or something. There was no emotional impact. Dustin Hoffman skidded around an english accent. And everyone was like talking in low hushed tones for like a solid 75% of the time.
The reason I was interested in this flick is I thought it was going to shift back and forth between fantasy and reality. Dive into Peter Pan world then splash back to reality. Fun! But this really only happened once in the one good scene which involved shifting back and forth between a very cool pirate ship in the land of make believe then back to reality. When I saw that like half way through I practically pointed at the screen and said, 'There! There's the movie! I see it there!' Then it went back to mumbley crudderity.
Also I've decided maybe I was at a disadvantage for this movie because 1900-1920 is my least favorite time period. Nothing seemed to have gone on then. 1920's it kicked it up. Late 1800's stuff was going down. But 1900-1920 was sort of a nothing zone and I don't like my movies there. I don't even like my Star Trek episodes there (not sure if a Star Trek episode ever took place then but you get my meaning with that).
So the movie stumbled to the close and me and my friend finished up our 40oz beers in the half empty theater. Toward the very end of the flick there was a line Depp said, something like, "...that's Neverland." And on cue my friend let out a burp like a total jerk and I had to choke back laughing out loud because a burp in the face of this movie was exactly what it needed at that moment... as far as I was concerned.
Three Good Things About This Movie
- The scene on the pirate ship looked great and was funny.
- It's always fun watching Depp do his thing.
- Kate Winslet has nice boobs and I liked the guy in the dog suit.
Three Bad Things About This Movie
- Twas quirkless.
- It was all over the road. It felt like the director was steering with his feet.
- It kept feeling like something was gonna happen then nothing really did.
All in all, I'd say (in theory) this is 'touching' chick flick which is maybe why it didn't work on me. Yeah some of the shots looked kind of good and a few scenes did come across as fun- but for the most part I was a little stunned that a movie that was all about imagination and fantasy seemed so tied to a post and running around in circles like dog in a backyard. I wanted to sneak back there and unlink the thing and just let it go. But it wasn't my dog. And it wasn't my property. It was sad to see too- because from a distance it looked like a fun smart playful doggie...
(PS. Big apologies to the other people in the theater (wasn't alot of people there) who had to put up with the two beer drinking jerks. Not fun during a tearjerker to hear jerks I know...)