Good Night, and Good Luck.

So today I had limited choices in terms of what I wanted to see.

I was sort of hungover (probably ten beers last night at Corner Bistro. best burgers in nyc fyi.) so the idea of Wallace and Gromit jumping around in my face for over an hour seemed to clash with my head tone. Doom was a possibility but the loudness might have rattled my brain too much. Plus it looks ungood. North Country floated onto my radar but I had to slap it aside because if you peel back the poster for this flick, behind it I think you'll see some producer yelling 'NOMINATE THIS, BITCHES!' and grabbing his groin, then catching himself, quickly dusting himself off, clearing his throat, and saying, 'It's a very respectable movie. We are very proud of this film and its important message about tolerance. Miss Theron has proven herself once again to be an actorial tour de force. Bravo!' Then he smacks his personal assistant's ass and demands a 'Corona Light' and high fives his friend who takes his face off the bong and says through a mouthful of pot smoke... 'great byte dude...' then continues bubbling away.

Whatever. I don't know what that whole first paragraph was about. It barely made sense. Anyway, to make a long story short I rumbled out of my apartment to see this flick Good Night Moon, and Good Luck made by the directorial tour de force... 'The Clooney!'. (He will soon be legally changing his first name to 'The' and adding an exclamation point to his last. The Clooney!) I gotta admit. There's something slightly disturbing for me about the idea of The Clooney! directing a 'serious' movie. I might be racist against good looking people or something. I dunno. But I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. The Gong Show movie didn't wreak like fart or anything. So whatever. Plus I figure it would be mellow enough for my hangover.

Anyway again, this movie is about the McCartney hearings. Apparently before Paul McCartney was in the Beatles he had a real axe to grind against imaginary commies. I didn't know much about the whole situation going in because I didn't pay attention in school too good. But apparently, McCartney was running around pointing fingers at people and making everyone super paranoid about the commie threat. But this newsguy named Edwin R. Moronie decided to put a stop to it.  (The 'R' stands for Roman I think. This is where my education gets real hazy but I think Moronie was also responsible for The Groundhog's Day Beheadings but I'll have to google that later.)

Anyway thrice, to make a long story short. CBS gets all journalistically puffy and overly proud of itself for saving the country from spinning into becoming the 4th Reich. What do you want a friggin medal? Moronie goes after McCartney big time to stop his finger pointing. And everyone smokes cigarettes. And The Clooney! wears smart guy glasses. And they mix the old clips with the new clips. And The Clooney! directs a very retro-cool smooth looking movie that's actually kinda messy as I kept losing track of who was who- and I didn't get all engaged and patriotic. I just sat there and stared at this and appreciated that Edwin R. Moronie and his gang of wangs had the balls to boner up to Sir Paul McCartney and his ilk and slap America back from off-center.... which also allowed Paul to move on from his commie shtick and write some really good tunes ....and make some real history.

Three Good Things About this Movie

- The guy who played Moronie did a bangup job. He deserves a fargin Oscar nomination. He looked like a real smoker too.
- I sort of liked how it looked and the b/w was weirdly soothingly extra soft or something. Smelled ok too.
- I didn't fall asleep or get pissed at the movie.

Three Bad Things About this Movie

- Two words. Safe. Bet. Two more words. Bore. Ing.
- It was dry as (insert funny dry analogy here).
- Half the characters seemed like half-formed characters. Dullards sitting around smoking and talking over each other about how cool they are.

All in all, I guess this was a good thing for me because I got to refresh my education through the movies. In fact, it made me think about how much smarter our kids would be if all of high school studies were made into major motion pictures movies. How cool would it be if they made Math Attacks! Or better yet. Philosophy Frat House Part-ay! Or how bout Dropping Science: Blowing S**t Up, Over and Out! Or maybe Economics: Add This to This! Take Away That! Bitches! Or... or...

Or maybe this is a sign that I better go lie down... See ya later.