A History of Violence

So tonite I wandered out of my apartment to catch this flick. I did a total media blackout on it as soon as I decided I was going to see it (even though A History of Violence is a bad title. Too spousal abuse-alish or something.) I know I've mentioned it before but seeing movies like this cold are just better that way. And I was excited to see something I actually was curious about. I picked up wasabi peas, twizz, a pack of combos (pizzeria flavored) and a water. I didn't have any dinner so I went for the combos bonus snack. A bunch of previews came on including Memories of a Geisha which looked either really good or totally sucky. I couldn't tell.

Anyway, I went through the combos before the previews were over and ripped open the wasabis as the lights came down. I'm not going to talk alot about what this movie is about because it kind of goes against the whole media blackout thing. But it stars Viggo Morgenstern and some blonde chick who I recently saw naked in The Cooler (we also see her woo woo in this movie which was cool. also her boobs. and she's a good actress too!) This movie was really a different vibe of a flick and it needs to be seen if you feel there's nothing to see. Because there is something to see. This flick. It plays out like a most excellent short story. The kind of good short story that makes you appreciate the existence of books. It soaks you right in.

There was one issue during the movie though. Half-way through the movie the theaters friggin house lights came up! Like they do when the movie is over. But the movie wasn't over! Everyone groaned. After a couple minutes they didn't go off. It was so bright! I was sitting sort of close to the screen (less chance of talkers right behind you) so I was right by the door. I looked around the place and was like, 'Uch! Is this job up to me?' I sprung into action and went running out to find a guy to turn the lights off. Hating the fact that I was missing a piece of this movie for this bullshit. There was nobody on the floor so I ran down the escalator (which was turned off for whatever stupid reason they turn of escalators). And I quickly told the ticket guy that the house lights came up in History of Violence and ran off. He was like, 'Oh! Ok...' I ran back up the stupid off escalator and back into the theater. When I walked in it was weird because the place was so lit up. Everyone was looking at me like, 'So?' I sort of pointed at the lights and made a face and sat down. I felt like I should have said, 'I took care of it.' But it felt too weird to talk to the whole theater.

Anyway, a few minutes go by and the lights don't go off! I hear some guy behind me rustle and get up with a groan. And he breathed out hard as he walked past me all like, 'Great job, hero...' I wanted to say, 'FU!' to his hard breath. It was pretty dang courageous for me to spring into action that way! I walked point on that mission! It's my fault the usher might have dropped the ball?! Was I supposed to go with him to the light switch? Anyway, the guy comes back a few minutes later and the houselights get shut off as he sat back down. I hear him inhale all satisfactiony like he was more man than me! Whatever. I was able to easy put it aside and not dwell on it. That's how good this movie was.

Three Good Things About This Movie

- The acting was really sharp across the board. Ed Harris hit an overhead smash.
- Some of the violence was jolty and cheery.
- I accepted the characters without having them sell em to us.

Three Bad Things About This Movie

- They sort of sidestepped the issue of a media circus.
- Sometimes the dialogue was stagey.
- He seemed like a step-dad for the first half of the movie.

All in all, I say this movie is a go-see. It's really hard not like I think. I never really totally fell in love with it but I watched every dang frame of it and wasn't bored for a second. The story holds up. The characters were great. The violence was fast and sometimes smashily smashtacular. Plus it did a neato trick. Just when I thought I had enough and was ready for it to wrap up.... it gave us William Hurt who just brought the friggin house down.