Hostel

So the other night I was out boozing with a friend of mine and we decided to head over and see a midnight showing of this flick. I was a little hesitant because the midnight crowds on friday night openings is usually over-rowdy and filled with drunkerds-- even on regular movies. Hardcore horror was guaranteed to be an interactive experience for a good chunk of the audience. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes you can pull a good loud crowd (aka people actually yelling funny stuff at the screen) but then again sometimes you pull a bad crowd (aka people yelling unfunny stuff at the screen)  Anyway, we bought 40oz beers at the deli (who am I calling a drunkerd?) and stuffed our coats and headed in. We were there early which was a good thing because the place was pretty sold out and we got seats that were centery and good. (A couple dickweeds came in like 15 minutes late and forced the whole row to 'shift-over-one' so they could sit together. Cocks.)

Anyway, I didn't know much about this movie going in. All of a sudden it just appeared on my tv with Quentin Taratino's name slapped on it looking like a bad bumpersticker. But I liked the title alot. 'Hostel'. Oof. I don't like that word. Hostel. Ew. Hostel. Uch. Good stuff! Anyway, we twist open our 40ozs, this movie starts up--- and I was into it immediately totally. Dopey frat kids running around in Europe like jerks. Fun! Hot chicks! Nice. Boobs all over the place. Dig it! And it took its time getting to the scary which I totally appreciated. Most of the film takes place in the Slovakia or something and everything was scary foreign which was a nice change-em-up in terms of scenery. It had a no safety net feel to it.

This movie was oozily refreshing. The plot is seriously pukily realistic. (A touristy place where sadistic mentals can pay to torture and kill people any way they like. Fantasyland for the awfuls. Pay by the nationality. Americans got top dollar etc) Solid concept that hits in the gut. And when bad stuff went down I was right there with the rest of the theater chiming in with my 'AAHHH! NO! OWWWwwww!' There were a couple moments that were so owie I felt a tingle in the area on my body where the bad stuff was going on on screen. Cool! A few of the situations made me laugh out loud because they were so super sucky. Basically I had a really good time with this flick.

The bad news is this movie kept threatening to cross over into being great and then kept chickening out. It was gory. But not gory enough. I think they could have gotten away with more. It was smart. But it wasn't smart enough. The plot did get to me and some scenes were upsetting to watch- but didn't burrow into my head enough to make me physically nauseous. This movie really could have been one of the great ones if they just let it rumble down down the dead-end road of realistic dementia to places we'd never thought of --and certainly never want to see. Instead it seemed to get scared of itself and just hooked a U-ey.

Three Good Things About this Movie

- It smelled really bad in the good way.
- There was some genuine funny going on alot.
- It made me slightly scared in real life of traveling.

Three Bad Things About this Movie

- It went for the best of both worlds instead of the worst of one.
- The torture could have been more creative and specific.
- At some point like half-way the surprises konked out.

The director is this penishead named Eli Roth (who made the tasty Cabin Fever) and he's the future of horror for better or worse till death do us part... for now. It made me relieved in some way that someone out there has decided to try own horror again. Hopefully he can get to the point where he can be less concerned about the film working for the dollars and just kill whomever, wherever, however he pleases-- and not need Quentin sponging credits and jittering around on Conan's couch to sell it.

<<<CHYATT