The Matrix: Reloaded

So I just got back from seeing the new Matrix. I dragged myself out of my apartment at 10:00AM to catch a 10:15 show down the street. I got a bagel and a pepsi twist on the way. I wanted to avoid having to deal with crowds and distractions. And this was probably the one time I missed the people that yell stuff out at the screen. Because I get the feeling these people would have been yelling what I was thinking sometimes. Heckles. Not jokes or cheers. Unfortunately this movie is an undeniable disappointment.  I watched most of it with my ear resting on my shoulder all cockeyed. 

From the get-go it was obvious that this movie was a misfire. Within 20 minutes the original movie had drained away and I was left with something 'new'. The acting seemed wrong. There was tons of people wandering around. Morpheus was reduced and annoying. Instead of people standing around looking cool in sunglasses and leather. Everyone was standing around looking dumb in their sunglasses and leather. The large new presence of 'Zion' was a whole world I didn't want and didn't like and didn't believe in. (practically Cypher-tic justification) But I pushed that all aside and struggled to adjust to the new landscape. I decided to watch this on its own merits. The fair way. To drop all comparisons and try to understand where it was going. And adjust to the new vibe. So I listened to them talk. And talk. And talk and talk and frickin talk. Blah blah blah. Yawn yawn yawn. I switched my head from resting on one shoulder to the other and waited for the next action scene. Completely detached.

So there was action. There was good action. There was some great action. But it didn't really get a real wow from anything that I hadn't already seen in the previews. The 'legendary' highway scene was definitely a spectacle. But it didn't carry the same impact as I get from a simple car crash in other movies sometimes. No real good jolts. Just more of a 'wow that definitely does look way cool' feeling. And it did look cool. Some of it was extremely cool. Some was simply too cool. And the movie continued onward. Bringing in new characters. And agent fight scenes. And I switched my head to the other shoulder. By the halfway point the movie was already gone for me.  I was numbed and dumbed and bummed.

It is unfair to draw straight comparisons to the original movie. That movie had the advantage of being 'fresh'. It had the threat of death to Ted (or was it Bill?) and it also had the advantage of not having to explain. All that movie had to do was plant seeds. And it sprinkled them merrily about while it kicked people in the face and swirled around your head. Like a frickin Johnny Appleseed with a sack full of techno-philosophica-goodies.

So the seeds took root and grew into this movie. And it unfortunately is looking like a fairly ugly vine at this point. Corrupting the garden. But ya never know... sometimes plants don't look so great until they bloom. They just look boring.. Then they bloom into something great. And that's what we can hope for in the next movie. That this vine will sprout flowers and maybe put some perspective into why we needed to stare at this... to get to that. But regardless it's hard to believe that the next one will justify this semi-sucky stepping stone's semi-suckness.

Three Good Things About the Movie

- Trinity. There's something about Trinity that seemed to be the one thing that held relatively true to the original. The one true tether.
- The action scenes were definitely stunning at points and I dug the fight scene with all the agents.
- It did leave room to grow. Although I'm left with more whatevery confusion than anticipation and absolute need to know. But I do want to know.

Three Bad Things About this Movie

- Toward the end, a guy in the movie explains things and it seemed like he intentionally used big words in the way someone who doesn't know what the big words mean uses big words like using them to cover up the fact that he doesn't know what he's talking about.
- It didn't introduce one new likeable character.
- No humor to be seen because it was too busy seriousing up the place.

Was it the Phantom Menace? I'm not sure I'd say that. It's really not as bad as I think it might have been (although it might have been worse). I think the real problem was organically it seemed the Matrix didn't ask for a sequel like Star Wars demanded. If Washmashski Brothers were really thinking sequel I get the feeling Bill (or was it Ted?) would have never flown at the end of the last movie. But whatever. I appreciated their effort here... and they're 'only human'... unfortunately.



PS. As for y'all that think I might be like all devastated because I was obviously fairly psyched up for this flick. Don't worry about me. I'm fine. I'm not like that. I'll be ok. But for fucks sake... what the hell happened?