The Quiet American

It's Saturday night and I just got back from seeing a pretty sucky movie. I was hanging out and really wanted to see a flick but there was absolutely nothing to see. Biker Boyz? The new DMX movie? What? So I decided to go out on a limb to see a movie I'd knew nothing about and had no interest in. Just the title alone made me think it was gonna be a big snoozefest. And it didn't lie. This movie is a big snoozefest.  Except for the couple explosions which seemed staged anyway. I was actually so bored that I almost picked myself up and left half way through. I actually had my hand on my coat and was gonna do the dash realizing I made a bad mistake -but then I decided to stick it out.

I'm not sure why this movie annoyed me so much.  Maybe because it was one of those sucky movie disguised as a good "classic" movie. I wouldn't blame you if you stopped reading this review right now because it's going to be difficult to even write anything entertaining here. That's how untertaining and unemotionyed this movie was. To write about it is like gulping a big handful of sand and then trying to describe it. How much can you really say about it? Don't like it. Yeah yeah. Umm... wish I hadn't done that.... ummm... 

Yeah, Michael Caine is good. He's always good. So what? Who cares? He should be good at this point he's made 5 frickin thousand movies! He's had enough practice! And I still say 'Blame It On Rio' was his shining moment. And Encino Man Mummy Brendon Frusher is in this movie too. Nuff said there. Bottom line: this movie had an interesting theme and feeling but everything in it and around it was like.... yknow what!? I refuse to waste any more words on it. I'd rather write something about I rented it on Friday night. Screw 'The Quiet American'...


I'll make this quick because I know you don't like reading alot, but I saw Amelie in my apartment on Friday night and I really liked this movie a whole lot. Not sure why I missed it when it was in the theaters. Maybe because it was frenchy subtitley or whatever. And I never think I can make it through a movie with subtitles- but then once I see them I usually don't have a problem with them. And I'm at the point now where I watch most dvds with the english subtitles turned on anyway because either my tv sound is awful or my hearing is going- cause I miss like every fifth line.

To make a long story short. Amelie is a different kind of movie. It pays amazing attention to great small cute details. It moves fast. The directing is cool and it's got weirdness. The Amelie chick was cute... (really almost too cute in a frenchy way) but I liked her alot. Towards the end it drags a little and it feels sort of like it used up its tricks. But it was the best video rental for me this year. So next time you're in Blockbuster next and have a blockbuster breakdown and end up walking out with like 'The Tuxedo' or some crap like that. Snag this movie. I swear the annoyness of it's foreignishness wears off within 10 minutes.  Plus there's a scene with boobs. And for the people who wrote in a while ago demanding I see this. You were right.

One Good Thing About Quiet American

- Michael Caine keeps the movie from feeling like someone just whomped you on the head with a wet sack of mud.

One Good Thing About Amelie

- It's an arty movie that doesn't dive in over it's head into the art and get all carried away with it's coolio-ocity..

One Bad Thing About Quiet American

- It seemed like a pointless movie to make. Maybe Graham Greene fans will feel differently. But not me- as I've never read a Graham 'Cracker' Greene book and have no plans to.

One Bad Thing About Amelie

- You feel a little bit like you're being suckered into liking it with its fancy schmancy tricks and cuteness.

So that's that with that. Do not see Quiet American. It's sucky. (who was the Quiet American exactly anyway? No one seemed so frickin quiet. Not even Encino Man Mummy Brenden Frusher.) And rent Amelie. Get past the frenchy issue. It's a coolio french fry flick. Ok!

Or reef-wire!