Robots
Robots is the first movie that was seemingly made about robots, by robots, and for robots.
I'm not even sure what to write about this movie. It looked bad. The jokes were 95% bad. The voiceovers were poor to fair across the board (except Mel Brooks who can do no wrong ever... well maybe not ever but often). The design of the robots was stale. The plot was dopey and lazy. Not one side-character stepped up to the plate to be a character. Alot of the robot world made no sense in the bad way. There was no suspense or tension or mystery. The robots didn't do cool things. It was loaded with bad puns. It was like eating a plate of foam. Everything seemed forced. Even a Tom Waits song was annoyingly placed. It was a mess. It was as exciting as a bicycle falling over. Robin Williams was at the top of his 'overstay the welcome' form. It had some slaphappy message about society that was obvious and dopey.
Other than that...
I laughed out loud only once and it involved a fart. There was too much awkward physical comedy that felt like filler. The lead character was instantly forgettable. All the celeb voices were vaguely familiar in the annoying 'who is that?' way. From the start of the movie it felt like someone fumbled the kickoff. The first joke was a sign that said 'Ice Grease Cones' instead of 'Ice Cream Cones'. The movie references were too obvious. The colors were too dull. There wasn't a heartfelt moment to be found. Robin Williams character was named Fender and was way too close to Bender. It took no risks. For the most part 50'-ish design didn't work for me. For a robot movie it lacked hugely in smashing and destruction. It lulled me into a movie stupor. They mistook a label for a personality.
Other than that...
The kids in the theater only laughed during farts, peeing, injury, or butt jokes. It was frantic. All the cuteness (which should be a slam dunk) was trapped in a ugly annoying coffee pot. It made my eyebrows turn toward the bridge of my nose. It made me feel bad for real voiceover actors who must be tortured by the celeb hijacking of animation. It smelled like saltines and rust. I wanted them to rip the whole thing down, crumple it up, and start over. There was nothing to latch onto to carry me through. It was animadreck. It was distractingly unmerchandiseable. Whenever the robots said anything in unison it was something annoying. Humorwise it's at a level what I imagine Shrek 12 will be at. I would have been happy if half-way thru this flick a giant robot monster came out of nowhere and smashed everyone and everything and just kept smashing for the whole second half of the movie. The movie didn't make me happy.
Ok maybe all that is a bit harsh but it's always annoying to me to see a big waste of time, money, and effort.
Three Good Things About This Movie
- Although I didn't like the overall look of the movie. Some of the wide
shots and the transportation scene was cool to look at.
- I got the feeling there was heart in this movie although the heart was beating
irregularly.
- I think young kids might get a kick out of it sorta.
Three Bad Things About This Movie
- Within a block of the theater on the way home, this movie started getting
erased from my memory like something in Eternal Sunshine.
- Some of the jokes were so blatantly terrible that I wouldn't be surprised if
the hacks wrote alot of this script in one coffee and coke fueled weekend..
- They were so busy covering the bases that they let a easy grounder roll right
between their legs.
All in all this is a video rental. Probably undeserving of such a harsh review. It just lacked in everything I wanted. When I walk out of a robot movie I want to feel like I can pick up a car and throw it or wish I was a robot... or had a robot friend. This movie just made me want to go home and take a nap. Which I might do now. Because this whole flick gave me a whumpy movie hangover.