The Simpsons Movie

"Oooh, so Mother Nature needs a favor?! Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys! Nature started the fight for survival, and now she wants to quit because she's losing! Well I say, hard cheese" - Montgomery Burns

"Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and replace 'dog' with 'son'." - Lionel Hutz

 "Tastes like... burning." - Ralph Wiggum (after he ated the purple berries).

"This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you. " - Montgomery Burns

"You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir." -Smithers

"Kissing a girl? That is sooo gay!" - Jimbo Jones

"I used to be with it. But then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what it is seems scary and weird. It'll happen to you." - Abe Simpson

"Well, I'm better than dirt! Well... most kinds of dirt. I mean not that fancy store bought dirt.... That stuff is loaded with nutrients. I... I can't compete with that stuff." - Moe Szyslak

"I call the big one "Bitey". - Homer

"Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!”


All that being said, I gotta say ...that there wasn't any of that being said in this movie. But I found the whole thing to be perfectly acceptably disappointing anyway.

Yeah, there weren't enough gut laughs. And sure, there was an over-reliance on the physical humor. Sure sure if you really want to you can argue that after all this time the overall plot was wonky stupid and light. Sure you can say, not enough Burns and too much Homer. Yeah, if you realllly want to you can say that there were too many jokes on the nose and not layered. Ok! If you really want to you can be upset about the fact that Bart was pussified and out of character corny for too much of the movie. Fine! If you really want to point fingers, you can say this is essentially a movie made for children that didn't bite the hands that feeds nearly enough. Go ahead! Fine! Say it!

But what would be the point!?

I was entertained enough. I was never bored.  I was happy that I was surrounded by kids in the movie because it was fun to hear them laugh at stupid stuff. I'd say I chuckled at the screen every few minutes at something or other too. (Usually someone getting hurt or a too cheap one-liner). But the nostalgia strength gave me plenty of room to skip the nit-pick while watching. I love The Simpsons. Of course. Can I say that I loved The Simpsons Movie? No. Of course not. Would I watch it 20x over like any Seasons 2-7 Simpsons episode? Nay. I'd say this will movie probably hit the ceiling on re-watchability at 2... and a half....

Whatever though! Entertaining entertainment is entertaintabulous! And this flick entertains fine. It doesn't damage the history or family or legacy. And I'm just happy that the whole giant machine is still alive and kicking (or punting)-- but the yellow monster robot survives! And even though I've stopped watching new episodes, I still (apparently) really enjoy being reminded that Lisa is still having crushes and pushing her boulders uphill. That Bart can still cause a scene on impulse and be a total boy. It's nice that Maggie is still mysterious and that Homer and Marge are still in love. And at the end of this flick, all that realization made me smile big-- and an actual single tear rolled down my face (which I quickly brushed away fearing the 12 year old kid sitting next to me would point at it-- and give me a Nelson ha-ha.)

Three Good Things About this Movie

- Spiderpig.
- Homer had to carry the movie but I didn't really mind.
- Some of the animation was near awesome.

Three Bad Things About this Movie

- The political jabs were too transparent. (+ why was President Wolfcastle renamed President Schwartzenegger?)
- I would have been happier with Burns as my bad guy <cough. notalbertbrooks>...
- No good 'after end credits' surprise.

All in all, it does enough of it all just fine. And if they want to do it again and make another, I would be happy enough too goddamnit! (Marge actually says goddamnit in the movie btw). I mean, after all, even if The Simpsons Movie II was the suckiest sequel suck that ever sucked, it would be 1000x better than that sequel to that movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called... "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down".


PS. Feel free to post quotes here if you wanna....