Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

It's been a few weeks since I've seen a movie and I just knew I was gonna see one today. No matter what. So I checked for the new movies that were out and Sky Captain was the only one I felt I could stomach. Not sure why I thought that. It certainly looked pretty much too cool for school and trainwrecky and stuff but I decided to give it the benefit of the doubt. I picked up some wasabis and a bagel with scallion an Arizona Iced Tea with Ginseng and a Three Musketeers on the way. I found a decent seat in the theater and ate my lunch while watching bad preview after bad preview. The first one was straight out bizarre. It was for some Tonka Truck movie that fell in somewhere between major motion picture, toy commercial, and marketing disaster. It was like Tonka Truck Adventure Movie! It looked like a top-down idea that got forced thru the system. Like the CEO Tom Tonka IV thought it was a good idea and everyone kept nodding in his face and cringing behind his back until it was done. There was also preview for the new Sandler/James L. Brooks thing that looks like a sappy pretentious mess and they had one for the The Incredibles which was a cause for concern for some reason. Something still seems off about The Incredibles. Where's the villain?

Anyway, Sky Captain. I am unable to rate and review this flick properly because I fell asleep for at least a solid half-hour during the movie. Not sure what it was about this flick or what was with me but it knocked me out cold and I never fall asleep in movies. I think it had something to do with the colors or tone of this flick or something. Or that it was borderline boring. When I woke up I was sort of out of it and tried to recharge my brain, amazed that I fell asleep for that long. I hope I wasn't snoring. I hate it when people snore in movies (imagine how the Director would feel if he was in the theater with a snorer) I don't usually snore so I think I was in the clear there. But I was shocked because I don't remember closing my eyes. I was just narcoleptiked out or something.

After I woke up I ate my three musketeers to get some energy going again and tried to catch up on stuff. It didn't seem like anything major had happened while I was asleep. Gwenth Paltron? Still lame and annoying. Check. Jude Law? Still wearing goggles and talking gibberish. Check. Special effects and style of the movie? Cool but not blowing me away at all. Bad color. Cold emotion. Check. Plot and dialogue? All over the road. Not important. Corny. Check. After I got semi caught up I got upset again because I had to pee. I was like, 'Uch! How much of this movie am I gonna miss?!'  I hustled to the bathroom and saw that someone had dumped popcorn in one of the urinals. It made me feel bad for the guy who cleans the urinals. I peed in a urinal without popcorn although I would have liked to have peed on the popcorn. Anyway I never really clicked back in after my pee break. I felt hazy nap head while sitting there. I was out of it.

I think my biggest problem with the movie (from what I saw of it) was Gwentyt Plowtroid. Every time she opened her yap I was annoyed somehow. I was hyper aware of her presence and I found her distractingly bad. And the romance with Jude Law was like chemistry-free. He's too much a pretty boy or something I think. But I bet the chicks will like him in this flick. Maybe that's what my issue was with this movie. That it's probably a chick flick in disguise. Maybe not. How would I know? All I know is when I walked out at the end I was a little annoyed at me that I fell asleep and messed up watching the movie... but there was a whole other side of me that was like, 'Eh. Whatever... you didn't miss anything great... if it was great.... you wouldn't have fallen asleep!' And bottom line with that...  I had to agree with me.

Three Good Things About this Movie

- I kind of appreciated the fact that it bent over backwards to be different. Even if it did try to hard.
- I liked the big mobile landing pad things. They seemed kinda cool.
- The seats in the theater were really comfortable.

Three Bad Things About this Movie

- I suspect this movie was a trainwreck in disguise.
- The dialogue was way off at times. Even by its own retro standard.
- I fell asleep and messed up.

So sorry for the half-assed review. I usually don't pass out that way in movies which is good because then all the reviews would be like this. But whatever. I'm just ready for some new movies!  I never wanted Sky Captain! I never asked for it! Gimme movies I actually want to see! They're overdue!  Saw, and Shaun of the Dead and Team America! They look kinda cool! Gimme! I want to see those! And regardless of how tired I am, I get the feeling I won't be passing out in those flicks....which probably does say something alot about Sky Captain.... Yawn.