Team America: World Police

I gotta admit I was nervous about Team America. The preview was weak. I got the feeling it would be a disaster like a five minute skit stretched to an hour and a half. And I'd get sad by the 1/4 mark because I'd see all the hard work that went into it and wonder why they thought it was a great idea in the first place. Wonder how could they have been so stupid making a movie so stupid with stupid puppets saying stupid things like, 'Hey terrorists! Terrorize this!" -- but they weren't the stupid ones. I was. Cause this movie is friggin excellent and the funniest movie of the year... even funnier than The Forgotten.

Armed with bagel, arizona, and wasabis in bag I headed to a 12:15 showing of this here film. Bracing myself for disappointment I was immediately relieved after seeing Team America fight the terrorists who have "WMD's" and destroy Paris in the process. The Eiffel Tower was knocked over crushing the Arc de Triomphe and the Louvre was obliterated but Team America congratulated themselves and held their heads high for stopping the destruction the terrorists planned. Gotta like that. And the puppeteering is a joke that carries surprisingly far. Weirdo eyecontact, spazzy walking, sparkler rocket boosters, and horrible fist fights. Twas all goodness. There was a side of me that got sort of pissed off because it all worked so well. Friggin South Park cocky bastard bitch boys.

Anyway, Team America: World Police smelled new and fresh for alot of reasons. It stomped on flowery rules. The terrorists were actually arabs (instead of rogue KGB agents or whatver movie terrorists have to be nowadays). The goofy funny in all the accents and language were (mis)pronounced. It took some of the most serious things in the world and jokified em. But in its own defense the movie is pretty even evenhanded in its smacks. It simplifies things by classifying the government as "dicks". Hollywood activists as "pussies". And terrorists as "assholes". I loved how they joked up the 'uberseriousness' of acting. The celeb smashing was fun, but it got sorta dumb cheapshot whatevery eventually.  Look Tim Robbins talks like a jerk! Look Sean Penn is a tool! 

This movie had fun with the three V's: vomit, violence and vizzy vroom which was cool (by vizzy vroom I mean sex.... i needed another v.) All of which played out puppety well. The sex was great. The violence in the movie was solid. Blood splattering, heads exploding, and someone getting sliced in half. Jeanie Garafala's face looked particularly demented when she bought it (sorry for the spoiler). The stringy action worked. And stomping around through it all was Kim Jong Il. The ringleader of evil he was a superstar in this and he looked the funniest. The best on screen villain in a long time. All things considered the portrayal of Kim Jong in this movie probably should raise us to orange alert. Because if I was him I'd be pretty friggin pissed to see me like that. So that's sorta bad. But on a positive note, at least if Kim Jong is gonna come after us, it will be for a good reason... or at least one that I could understand.

Three Good Things About This Movie

- The songs are high notes throughout... and I usually hate songs. America! (Fuck Yeah!)
- I liked all the cursing.
- It officially made 'fag' funny again.

Three Bad Things About This Movie

- Sometimes the over the top wrongness seemed like cheating.
- It was actually sort of real life scary at times in a big picture way and made me feel not so great about America.
- It is still a gimmicky thing which may dry up the 2nd time round..

All in all I'd say this is a movie to be seen. It's one of those movies that its existence alone is impressive. It's blatant disregard for everything and everyone was pleasantly refreshing. It was sorta soothing to hear WMDs referred to like a joke (like you could replace WMD with 'Ultradestructo Explodo Bomb' and it'd be the same tone. UEBs). And it's loaded with funny. Seriously funny. I laughed outloud like clockwork. So I do have to give it up for the friggin South Park cocky bastard bitch boys because they're a friggin megaforce superio after this flick. Should you go see it? Fuck yeah!