Tell No One

So I wasn't even gonna type up a review for this movie because it's all foreign frenched out canal plussed subtitled up-- but it was pretty good (it wasn't like great) but it really was pretty good so I figure I gotta at least say something about it.

Anyway, I didn't know much about this flick other than my parents told me I might like it. And I heard murmurs here and there that it was worth seeing blah blah whatever. So when it popped up down the street I went for it. (What was I gonna see this weekend? Mummy 3 starring Mike Anthony with his claymation face?) Anyway, I sit down in this little theater with all these other dorks and slap my reading glasses on my brain for the subtitles-- and right off the bat I was digging this flick! Ummm... mainly because they made this chick get naked and you could see her butt and boobs and stuff and she swam around naked and then when the guy got naked I figured they were gonna show his wang because the film was french-- but they didn't show his wang and that was cool because I didn't want to see his wang and I don't care what anyone says I don't think women are too psyched to see random wang flopping around neither. I think they'd rather see boobs and butt.

Blah blah. Whatever some stuff goes down that's sort of surprising with like murdery stuff and then it's like there are suspects everywhere and stray puzzle pieces around and side characters where I was like who are they? wtf do they have to do with stuff? And for 40 minutes or so I wandered around lazy half-assed mentally collecting stuff from the film. Almost like browsing in a store that has some really coolio stuff. I'd mentally pick something up and put it back down and look at something else. There was something relaxing about the whole experience. A nice rainy day activity. Browsing around. And I didn't mind the frenchyness because I really do like the sound of the language.

But at some point though I started to get bored in the store. I hadn't decided on really buying anything yet and started to wonder if the whole place just seemed better than it was because it was "imported". I was tettering on dismissing the place when all of a sudden this cop/crook foot chase came running through the store that was pretty friggin way excellent. And a gear shift that I appreciated. Stuff got knocked over and smashed on the ground and I was psyched! And after the chase was over the stuff in the store seemed more interesting. More valuable. I grabbed a mental basket and started to put some stuff in here and there-- surprised that I was seriously buying any of it.

At the end I was pretty psyched to put everything on the counter and take off. I was definitely in the store a little too long. But the dude who started ringing everything up started talking... and talking and talking... Talking about every friggin thing and explaining everything out. Every detail about every piece. And he started shoving everything in a bag that didn't look like it could hold all that stuff properly. As I listened I wondered if I'd been overenthusiastic. That maybe I was buying way too much. But it was too late. It was over and I lugged the thing out of the store wondering if I just bought a load of crap.

But on the way home I stopped off on a bench looked through my bag of goodies. I took everything out piece by piece to see if it all worked. To look for issues or to see if something was broken or cracked. And although it was mishmosh-- surprisingly everything held together pretty nicely. I didn't find anything wrong with any of the pieces. And the more I looked at the individual pieces the more I was impressed by what I bought-- and realized I just liked being in the store.

Plus it was a nice break from the garbage in the typical American super superstores. C'est bien tres bon merde!

Three Good Things About this Movie

- It's all tangled up but its a very nicely designed knotty thriller.
- It had a bunch of funny lines and the criminal guy was a great touch.
- The looming loon music worked really well.

Three Bad Things About this Movie

- The wrap up was a bit much and way talkee.
- It could have been weirder on the whole.
- There's something vaguely wrong with it throughout.

All in all, I say if this movie floats into your neck of the woods. See it. Don't be all snooty against the foreign film stuff. This movie is probably the best thing in theaters this week. Don't waste your brain on Mummying or Mamma Mia-ing or whatever. This flick is worth it. OK! Here's the deal. Go see this movie... if you seriously hate it write to me and I'll send you a nickel* via paypal-- but you have to be honest about it. Dealio?

*this deal doesn't apply to dvd rentals down the road.