June 30 2011
I’m a big fan of cherries so when they came coming for me this summer I was all over them. They go great with TV. I can eat em by the dozens and the only side effect I get are superfarts. Can’t help myself. But this year something is different about cherries. They ain’t look right. They don’t taste quite right. Almost like they’re ‘cherry flavored’. My first three bags of cherries this season have all been filled with weird mutants too.
Not to be all paranoid on the genetic modification thang– but I can only assume cherries have been overmodified with genetic freakery– and have now mutated out. So many variations and weird growths. Most of em have weird extra stems.
Alot of em look like they have wangs on em. Or shaped like asses or hearts. (last night one had little cherry wang and two mini balls growing under the wang but I tossed it because it freaked me out). Is this a geneticists idea of a joke?
The pits are weird too. Almost like they’re coated with something. Look at these things. Almost all of em had that extra growth in one way or another!
Anyway, it’s upsetting to think about what’s going on with fruit nowadays. I heard recently about chinese watermelons exploding all over the place and stuff like that. There’s also been fruits and vegetable showing up on the shelves that I’ve never even heard of before. Seems like they’re just making stuff up at this point.
It just bothers me to see that they’ve gotten to my cherries. That means apples are next and then all fruit is going to be ruined– unless I make a real effort to go organic– but now I’m hearing that you really can’t trust things labeled ‘organic’ because the word itself has been genetically modified or something. I don’t know if that’s true though. I don’t know.
Alls I know is I don’t dicks, balls and asses and weird mutant growths all over my friggin cherries!! The quote is “Life is just a bowl of cherries…” Not “Life is just a bowl of cherries (with new freaky wangs growing all over em)!”
Get to the catch area and then head off towards the end zone to try and score a touch down!
You are a battle marine from the future that has been sent back in time to change the future.