FRIDAY'S NEIGHBADS !! #100!

You got a bad neighbor? Or bad tenant? Or a bad landlord?
Or bad dormroom neighbor? Or a bad roommate? Or are you the bad neighbor?

Write now right now!
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It's getting out of control. I see the same house almost every day, and the front yard always has junk.

Usually it's just the kids toys. But those toys include bikes, a baby stroller, some sort of cart you pull behind a bike, a portable basketball hoop and some other random kid type stuff.
 
But in the last couple weeks, it's getting worse. The basketball hoop is gone, but the cinder blocks and pieces of firewood remain. There are also the remnants of a wooden bike ramp the kids tried to build.
 
Most of the grass on the front yard is dead now, and today I see the following all scattered on the front lawn:

3 bikes
2 gas cans
2 7 foot inflatable lawn decorations (one broken and deflated)
2 bike carts (one looks broken)
2 rakes
1 snow shovel (it's not winter yet)
1 hanging Halloween decoration hung where it doesn't really fit
assorted Halloween decorations laying on the ground
4 or 5 of those ceramic light-houses
some lumber and bricks
several garbage bins
a wheelchair

The wheelchair requires explanation. This isn't like a wheelchair next to the front door to help grandpa get in the car. This is like something the kids found in a hospital's dumpster and took home. It's just staggering.

What you can't see is that the house badly needs to be painted and the driveway is crumbling. Occasionally the garage door is open, it's a disaster in there too. Personally I'm waiting for winter to see if the toys get covered in snow or removed.

I've attached a picture so you can see I'm really not making this up.

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I'm sorry if I've already written about this 'neighbad'. Friends and family are always curious for updates and I can't remember if I already sent something in or just thought about it.
We have some of the best neighbours you can imagine. Great street to raise kids and pets until she, who I refer to as the Amazon, moved into the hood with her two psycho rescue dogs, who I refer to as Barky and Bitey. Barky is huge and deaf and an olympian barker. Bitey is a breed that is normally associated with illegal gambling and blood loss. Bitey recently killed the Amazon's own cat in her backyard. So far he has not been successful in killing a person despite several game attempts.
 
 Aside from her salty language, generally broadcast at a pitch discernable from half a block away, the Amazon enjoys topless car vacuuming, strolling around the street in a thong bikini with her huge hamhock buttocks exposed, screaming obsenities at those  she feels have done her wrong, burning crap in her backyard and then leaving it unattended and nocturnal gardening. Why garden at night you might ask? Because silly, it's the best time to steal plants and garden ornaments from your hardworking neighbours. Topless I might add. You can have them transplanted into your garden and the driveway swept up before our useless local doughnut eaters show up to poke around and ask insinuating questions. Can't tell you how many times I've seen her staggering drunk on our street at night window shopping/casing houses. She has some kind of weird psychic ability, and/or a police scanner, as she never gets caught in any act by Chief Wiggum and the boys.  It has been suggested that she may currently be supporting herself by, er, sharing her 'ass'ets with her many gentlemen callers. 

Lovely.

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Hey! to Denise in Alberta -
 
I too had neighbors like that.  A long time ago we moved into new houses next door at the same time.  Our dog was named 'Duke', they got a dog and named it 'Duke'.  We had 3 kids in the family when we moved, they had one kid already.  When their second kid was born, they named it the same as the second kid in my family (me).  Then their third kid was born and they named it the same as my brother.  If they had another, I know they would've named it after my sister.  But they stopped at 3 kids, like us.  Anyway, like you, when we rebuilt our family room they did the same.  When we bought a new car, they did too.  We put up a shed, so did they.  On and on like that, the whole time we grew up.  Not annoying at all, just funny.  When the kids all got married, they started it with each other.  One would have a baby boy and name it Noel, the other would have a baby girl and name it Noelle.  There's a Jason and a Jackson, an Emma and an Emily.  One would move, the other would move.  Too funny.  As far as I know they keep matching up; pet for pet, kid for kid, even divorce for divorce.  Is this something people do consciously?
 
-- Anon

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