FRIDAY'S NEIGHBADS !!
You got a bad neighbor? Or bad tenant? Or a bad landlord?
Or bad dormroom neighbor? Or a bad roommate? Or are you the bad neighbor?
Write now right now!
Growing up I lived on a normal suburban street.
We knew our neighbours well enough. We didn’t hang out all the time, but we were
always friendly to each other and got invited to the occasional BBQ. The only
problem with these neighbours, it that they were copycats. Every time we mowed
our lawn, they mowed their lawn. Every time we shovelled our sidewalk, they
shovelled their sidewalk. Soon they started copying us even more. My parents
built a deck, my neighbours built a deck. My parents had our kitchen renovated;
our neighbours had their kitchen renovated. My parents bought new furniture,
well, you guessed it, our neighbours bought new furniture. But the real kicker
was when my parents decided to sell our house. You will never believe it, but,
yup, our neighbours sold their house too!
Back in college
we lived at the bottom of a dead end street in a part of Denver where the
junk mail came in Spanish and on the other side of our backyard was a series
of project homes. It was a colorful community with a bus stop at the top of
the street and we had a problem with people just jumping our fence and
traipsing across our yard at all hours of the day/night as a short cut to
get to the bus or go back home or get to the trailer park down the road.
After trying to discourage people by talking to them & asking them not to
do it, and getting a dog (who turned out to be just too dang friendly to
really be a “guard dog”) we became resigned to the fact it was never going
to stop because of what a pain in the ass it was for them to have to go
essentially three blocks over and two blocks down. And it really wasn’t all
that bad for us until someone started abusing “the privilege”. You see,
some clever young man caught on to the fact that he could take a taxi cab to
our address, state a lack of funds and ask permission to go in the house to
grab some cash for the guy – then after he walked up to the door, and stood
there for a second pretending to fumble for the keys, he would then dash
around the side of the house and jump the freakin’ fence!
This happened a
few times – all at an ungodly hour, hmmm wonder what he had been up to? –
and the cabbies would come knockin’ on our door all pissed off that the dude
ran off, and we would just lay in bed listening, waiting for the cabbie to
give up and go away. It got the the point where the cab companies caught on
and issued a “do not go there” notice to their guys to not drop anyone off
at our address, but some cabbie didn’t get the memo and our neighbad got his
way. Unfortunately for us, this cabbie wasn’t gonna slink off into the
night. In fact, he was 100% certain that his passenger was hiding out in
our house. So at 3 in the morning, we hear a horn honkin’ like mad and
ornery odl cuss yelling at the top of his lungs “I know you in ‘dere you
goddamned piece of sh*t. You better come outta that house with MY money
‘fore I bust in a kick yo’ a$$.” He even started walking around the side of
the house banging away with his cane after pounding on the door didn’t work.
confronting, to say the least!
So we got up
after debating whether or not the guy was gonna leave, finally answering the
door with our dog who was going ape by this time, and had a conversation
with the cabbie that went a lot like “Who’s on first”. We ended up having
to call the cops and file a police report AGAINST the cab driver who tried
to break into our house and drag “that lowlife dirtbag out by da' short
But that wasn’t
the worst of it.
dude was ::gasp:: on the run from the law, and one fine Monday
morning, on my way out the door for class, I get stopped in my tracks by a
small army of police officers crawling around the property with their guns
drawn, motioning for me to go back into my house!
Of course, I
retreated and began to quietly peep thru the windows while we called our
nice neighbors and gossiped on the phone. There were cops EVERYWHERE and
they were sweeping the neighborhood for this guy – they even went thru the
tool shed in the back, etc. Across the chain link fence, I watched a couple
of cop cars silently pull into the project housing parking lot with their
lights on while the cops clambered over our fence and began circling the
unit closest to us. And as they prepared to break down the back door (with
the front door surrounded – cop car doors open and everything), smoke
started curling out the side of the house! So while the sirens of the fire
trucks came swooping in, the next thing I know the guy decides to slip out
the bathroom window on the other side of the house (thinking he was being
sneaky!) and made a run for it - right into the hands of a couple men in
blue. I totally watched him get tackled and cuffed and stuffed into the
back of one of the cars!
Not too long
after, the police came knocking at our door taking statements, and we
totally found out that this neighbad had tried the same scheme a couple of
blocks over. In fact, as it turns out, he had been getting away with doing
this all over the neighborhood for the past year or so, taking a taxi from
apartment complexes on the other side of town – where he had been selling,
if you know what I mean. And the fire was started when he tried to burn the
Well, to date,
that has been my worst neighbad, and I’m happy to report that that was the
last time heard from our taxi-cab bandit!
Life is beautiful.
When my next door neighbor was little she
wanted to come over and play with my niece and nephew. No one was home but
me so I told her she couldn’t come over and play. She started yelling that
she wanted to come in. I still wouldn’t open the door. She then began
peeking in the window downstairs where I was exercising and saying,” I see
you. I want to come in and play.” My mom worked at night so she slept
during the day. I was trying to get this noisy little girl away from the
I opened the door to tell her to go home.
She pushed past me and ran down the stairs and started grabbing the toys and
playing with them. I told her to get out and go home. She wouldn’t leave
so I grabbed her and started to drag her out the door. I then pushed her
outside and shut the door.
She ripped the buds off of some fake
flowers mom had on the front porch and ran to tell her mother. A few
minutes later, she and her mother ring the doorbell. The mother says,
“Ashley said you grabbed her arm”. Of course I grabbed her arm; she
wouldn’t get out of our house. All the mom says was, “Ashley, you can’t
play over here ALL of the time”. That’s it that’s all she said.
She is 17 now and a much better neighbor.
I think she was five at the time.
Got a terrible neighbor? A terribler neighbor? Do you suck as a neighbor? Think
about it... write now!