FRIDAY'S NEIGHBADS !!

You got a bad neighbor? Or bad tenant? Or a bad landlord?
Or bad dormroom neighbor? Or a bad roommate? Or are you the bad neighbor?

Write now right now!
----------------------------------

Weird roommate from the past:

  1. Wakes up in the middle of the night to eat cereal---in his tighty whities.
  2. Only has one dish, one spoon, one fork, etc.  Leaves them in the sink and washes them when he needs them.
  3. A hopeless romantic, but pretends to be a woman-hating pig.  Thinks he’s Poppa Hemingway.
  4. Only eats meat, preferably sausages consumed in the bathroom during marathon visits.  Side dishes include a men’s mag and Big Gulp full of Pepsi.
  5. Drunk and passed out every weekend.  See #3
  6. Snobby about music, but adores Elvis.
  7. Writes terrible short stories that end in all caps:  “HE WANTED TO LIVE!”  See #3
  8. Keeps failing his senior thesis classes and blaming the professors.  Also blames his nonconformist, artistic spirit.  See#3.
  9. Hangs out with 18-year-old kids so he can impress them with his partying ways and deep philosophy.  See #3.
  10. Comes home, takes off shoes, exclaims how stinky his feet are, but does not wash them and walks around in his socks the rest of the night.  Ew.

----------------------------------

Hey Todd,

 So I live in a real sweet, real cheap apartment in the boondocks of upstate NY. About 150 miles north of Albany if you can imagine there's still part of New York up there.

Anyway, my girlfriend and I moved in in October. And like the first week the dude next door knocked on our door to tell us that the basement was flooded. So I was like, "Sweet, we got a cool neighbor". And while I was shelving my crap in the basement, in like three inches of water, I happened to look at his feet, and he was wearing leather slippers. Kinda weird. Anyway didn't see him for a while.

Then about three weeks later, I was outside and noticed the dude whip into the driveway about 90 miles an hour and do some frickin Dukes of Hazzard move into his parking space, about half an inch away from my girlfriend's car. He then proceeds to get out of the car and tell me to tell my girlfriend that she better move over cause he doesn't look when he pulls into the driveway anymore and that he almost hit her car.

After that frickin little incident he starts elbowing his way into our spots so that she parks way over, and I have to park almost in the grass. And on the other side of him there's like enough room for another Honda Civic.

So then we got our first snowstorm, and he's responsible for shoveling the driveway, which he never frickin does. So I grabbed his shovels one day cause they're right outside his door to shovel my spots out. He whips into his driveway when I'm doing that, gets out of his car and yells at me cause I'm using his shovel.

So then a couple of weeks later my dryer vent keeps coming off the thingy that spits all the bad air outside. I know it does that, and couldn't really do anything about it. While I was doing laundry I left my basement cage open. And apparently he's a nosey cock, he went into my cage to see what happened. So when I go to do laundry that night I see his apartment door is open (which it never is). He was waiting for me to tell me my hose came undone and that he didn't want me running my dryer if it was like that cause "There's enough moisture in the basement". Talk about creepy.

Thats my awesome neighbad, good vibes to you and "The Roscoe" (that was my gym teacher's name).
       
Doug

---------------------------------------------------------
 

when i moved to oklahoma my family and i lived in a two bedroom aprtment. my mothers good friend from high school lived right up stairs when they moved out. these huge like 300 lbs guy and his girlfriend moved in they fought all the time. one night they boomed untill like 10pm. then all of a sudden silence. not the oh thank god they stop silence or the im going to bed silence. eriee silence. then all of sudden BOOM!
 
i know for a fact the distance between their floor and our celing is about 9 inches. the floor (theirs) caved almost. guess what?come to find out his asian girlfriend had like a third degree black belt and threw his butt halfway across the room. i havent stoped laughing yet

---------------------------------------------------------

Hey tOdd,

I saw on your roommate poll that maybe if a person sends in a roommate story it could get posted? Well, I think that's a good idea, actually. You know, for a new day or something.
 
When I was looking at the choices for the poll I couldn't decide which one was worse.
 
Well, freshman year my first roommate and her girlfriend-- yes, I said girlfriend-- would always be in the room together and one time my dad came to visit and we went into my room only to find them in bed together! In the dark! And then she jumped up and was like "Uh...this is my friend." Yeah, right.

Sophomore year was even worse. I shared a room the size of a closet with a girl who was a total...well, I guess the only word that fits is 'slut.' She'd come home drunk at 3 in the morning, and usually with some nasty guy. They'd get into bed and start doing the dirty deed; the whole time I'd be trying to sleep in the bed two inches away! She was a freshman and she gained the freshman 15--plus about ten more--from eating pizza and chinese food all the time. She'd look in the mirror and go "How'd I get so fat?" She and her friends would smoke weed in the room, say, right before my parents came over, for instance. She hated me and my boyfriend and was always picking a fight, finding things wrong about me; she had either the TV or the stereo on all night right next to my ear, too. I ended up sleeping at my boyfriend's a lot.
 
Well, that's about it. I have my own room now, and am enjoying it for the last few weeks of college. pCe out tOdd!

---------------------------------------------------------


Got a terrible neighbor? A terribler neighbor? Do you suck as a neighbor? Think about it... write now!
<<<previous neighBAD