DAILY FACT I LEARNED FROM THE TV
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11/30

Daily Facts are back! So this morning I saw a list of the most dangerous toys of the year. And number 5 on the list was X-Men Origins Slashin' Action Wolverine. Apparently it has real claws made of razors and once it's turned on it can't be turned off and it goes for the eyes. Something like that.

Surprise surprise...Hasbro is the #1 producer of dangerous toys. I think this is 5 years running! Congrats Hasbro!

11/23

HEY! Taking a break from Daily TV Factoids til after the holidays! But if you find one on the TV that you wanna share! Send it on in to [email protected] and I'll post em now and again over the break! Help a brother out! If you're watching TV and learning... share it up!

And you can watch some TV here if you wannas!

11/22

So last night I watched this movie called Open Water II. It was a bad sequel to the super scary Open Water. This time a bunch of jerks jump off a yacht to swim in the middle of the ocean-- but they forget to lower the ladder. And they're all like slippy slidey trying to get up the side of the boat and things get a little crazy or whatever. Seems like maybe scary except that I know for a fact I could have figured out how to get back on the boat.

Anyway, I guess the fact I learned from that is don't go yachting with jerks and don't jump off a boat if you don't know how to get back up on it...

This guy didn't like it either. I agree with alot of his points... (spoilers... not that it wasn't already spoiled...)

(still can't figure out Dreamweaver so colors and stuff might be wacky for a bit.)

11/19

Today I found out what the Space Shuttle is doing up at the International Space Station. "Dropping stuff off..." Something something about needing some backup for the flimamabobby or something. I dunno. Until NASA starts arming space craft with lasers it's about as exciting as a moving van that flies. Humor me a little! Say 'You have reason to believe we need laser cannons....' That's all I need to hear and I'll watch every launch!

Experience the boring thrill of space! In a bad game!

11/18

Sorry for the no factizoid yesterday. I did watch some TV but I fergetted whatever it is that I was watcherd. Something something about something or something. Groovy fact later by tonights!

Ha ha Fight Club 10th Anniversary ed. dvd joke ha ha...

11/17

This morning some morning news wang told me about the safest cars for 2010. Surprisingly that Nissan Cube is on the list. I pegged that thing for a modern Pinto or something. I can't tell if it looks coolio or looks terrible-- but I figured for sure it didn't look 'safe'. But it tis. Along with the Kia Soul... so who knows what's what by what standards...

Build your own Cube here. If you wanna buy me one that's fine.

11/16

Today I found out that one third of teens admit to texting while driving. First off that's total crap. At least 80% of teens text while driving. Everybody knows that. But it made me think of a new early morning bad invention. Pre-emptive text response. Every time you receive a text while on the road it will immediately respond with a random statement like 'LOL that guys a dooosh' or 'Whatever. Who cares.' Or STFU a-hole' or 'ROFL f-face'...

Here's a violent texting while driving psa..

11/15

Tonite on 60 Minutes I learned how you can tell a dinosaur bone from a rock. Like if you're rummaging around in some old area and you see something that looks like a dinosaur bone-- all you need to do is lick it. If feels like velcro on your tongue then you got yourself a dinosaur bone. If it tastes like a regular ol' rock then you got yourself a rock. If it tastes like dog poop then you are officially not an archeologist and you need to go home.

Birds are dinosaurs.

11/13

Today TV told me that the world is definitely not ending in 2012 because some NASA due made the numbers go through the transistor machine and it told him ain't no smashy coming from a rogue planet named Nibiru. Mayans apparently were like tripping hard on some peyote stuff or something and just started making up a hoax to get stone wall press or whatever. Probably like the ancient version of Balloon Boy... except instead of a little boy-- it's a planet and instead of the balloon crashing into the ground another planet crashes into the ground..

Here's some info about Nibiru non-believer!

11/11

Last night I was watching this show called Man vs' Food (this dude goes around and pigs out in the biggest pigout or spiciest pigout places in America. dude is actually pretty funny). Anyway, last night he went to some pizza place and ate a Triple Habenero Pizza and I found out that Habenero peppers are like 20x spicier than a Jalapeno pepper. And this pizza has 18 Habeneros minced up with seeds and all-- all over it. Pass.

Here's a blog from Flying Pie Pizza of the Man vs' Food appearance.

11/10

Today local news lady told me that there's some girl somewhere who is suffering from 'Machine Gun Sneezing'. It's like the bad hiccup thing except with the sneezing. Where it starts and just doesn't stop. Awful thing to have. But do you really go with the 'Bless you.' Every time... especially under the circumstances.

Here's more info bout the sneezy girl...

11/9

I admit I saw this on the net and not the news but I'm posting about it here anyway. Found out that science dudes figured out a way to grow boner tissue in the lab. So people who have problem or mangled penis can get this procedure and get their penis back in shape. When it comes down to it I really think it's a toss up to what advances science more-- penis... or the space program. I'm betting penis research is now outpacing our future than NASA...

Poor test rabbits... probably like, 'WTF are you guys doing!!??!'

11/8

Today I've been watching a bunch of things about the Berlin Wall coming down. It's the 20 year anniversary or whatever. It's only 20 years? Feels like 22 to me. Anyway, back in the day a friend of mine's dad bought a chunk of the Berlin Wall and hung it on his wall. I think this might have been the first time I thought of running an actual scam. It looked like a chunk of concrete with some paint splattered on it. It was wrapped in barbed wire and who the hell knows what it sold for then...

Anyway, this is what my scam would look like if I was doing it today...

11/7

So I seen there's a dog on the tv who knows how to paint. Sammy the Service dog sells his paintings for up to $1700. They're actually pretty good. Sort of better than I could do I think. Here's Sammy the Service Dog 'painting'. Roscoe used to paint my floor with diarrhea.

11/6

So the other night I was watching a thing and the guy told me that babies cry in accents. Like a French baby cries in a french accent and like Italian babies cry in an Italian accent. And Americans cry in an american accent. Not sure if it breaks down regionally or not but would be interesting to see if southern babies cry with a twang and brooklyn babies cry with a fuggettaboutit situation. I dunno. Anyway... Who pays for these 'studies' ?! And who cares anyway!?

Here's a bunch of baby vs dog videos...

11/5

Today I found out that China is planning to do a 'Humanoid Olympics'. Like Olympics but with robots. Sounds like a great idea. Robot Shot Put. Robot Pole Vault. Robot Balance Beam. obot Take Over. Robot In Charge. Robot Ride Human like Horse. Robot Too Heavy for Human. Robot Glad It Made of Metal Because Easy to Wash Off Blood. Robot Makes Own Reality Show. Robot Wins When Everyone Dead but Robot. Robot Dig to Center of Earth. Robot Make Lava Doody.

Here's more info bout the Humanoid Olympics

11/3

Hey! Today is the day after election day and although I didn't vote I'm sort of glad it's over. Because Mike Bloomberg has been bugging the fruck out of me over the past couple weeks. I received at big color mailing in the mail daily. Stuff was posted all over my door and doorknob. My phone was ringing at least twice a day from yokels telling me to vote for Mike. And people have been buzzing my buzzer to get me to vote for him. One time I was in the shower fully soaped up when my buzzer buzzed. I was expecting a package so I dripped my naked self over to the buzzer to find out it was some twit 'making sure' I'm voting for Bloomberg. I was like, 'I'm soaped! There's soap all over my floor!' The non-stop money driven assault on my vote seriously almost backfired all over the guy because if I wasn't so lazy I would have voted against him just for my high level of annoyanceness...

Here he goes on 'AmIAnnoying.com'

11/2

Last night I was watching the baseball game but then I like fell asleep and I wasn't watching the baseball game anymore. During commercials though I flipped over to a new Top 10 show for me called Hoarders. (btw Rescue Ink is also a Top 10 show now). Anyway, on Hoarders that had this woman on who hoarded food and it was pretty gross. She didn't through out yogurt or whatever until it was so bad the container 'puffed'. Was sad and weird but it still compelled me to youtube up some food hoarders.

Here's Berenstain Junk Fooding:

11/1

Happy November y'all! Hey! Yesterday I was watching some guy talk about daylight savings and why we have to do it and stuff. And I found out that a couple years ago 'lawmakers' changed the daylight savings switch from the last Sunday in October to the first Sunday in November. Something about saving more energy or something like that. I dunno. Something about this whole 'change the time' thing creeps me out. And it shouldn't be flexible when we do it. If there's one constant in the universe it's time-- and I get the feeling we're the only planet in the universe that like screws with it...

Here's the story of the Philadelphia Experiment...

 

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