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* Monday*s Nuts* *
* * * Two balls! Five stories!
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The first story. . . I play on my high schools football team, and being a rather big fellow, I'm on the offensive line, center to be exact. For all the people out there who are clueless, I'm the one of snaps the ball in between my legs to the quarterback's hands who just happen to rest on my balls. . . Well, there is a lot of trust between the quarterback and the center. Whether or not I experience pain is pretty much in his hands, literally. Anyway, it was the 3rd game of the season, and we were up by like 30 points, so the coaches decided to put in our 3rd string quarterback, who has never played in a real game. Well, right before he said SET, I felt his hands slip....but I snapped the ball anyway....hitting myself right in the gonads...the pain was so bad, a random linebacker pushed my lifeless body out of the way, and sacked our QB....that was the last time he was in all season haha.

The second story. . . I was in P.E. last year(sophomore year...15 yrs old), and we were playing soccer. I don't really follow soccer very well, I just go around kicking people in the shins, but that is besides the point. All I know is that it was a penalty kick, and my friend "Joey" was standing off to the side. So the guy kicks the ball, while "Joey's" head was turned. PLOW, right in the nuts. Now, Joey is a tough guy. . . I play f-ball with him, and he broke his arm, but still kept on going, which is probably why I was so shocked when he started crying on the floor. . . followed by a rush to the garbage can, puking what was left of his "manhood" up.

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So, a balls story, huh? I have a pretty good one.. a two-in-one story,
actually..

When I was 13, my mom always had me hang all my shirts on these
wire hangers. One day I was bored before school and started
bending the hanger all out of shape and messing with it. Then i got
all worried I'd get in trouble for bending up the wire hanger, so I
started trying to straighten it out again. I tried and tried but couldn't
get it right. So, I finally put my hands on the long wire part on the
bottom and started twisting, thinking I could twist it straight...
however, that caused the hanger to swing down and the hook part to
thwap me in the nuts. Let me tell you, that HURT, especially since
(for some reason) I didn't have any pants on to help block the blow. I
managed to not scream, but it sure hurt.

The extra part is that I was telling this story when I was 18 or so
(clothed this time) and demonstrated the twisting and accidentally hit
myself in the nuts again. I stopped telling the story after this.

Embarrassingly, I admit that once I was victim to nutsocrunchitis , or the crunching or harshly impacting of ones own nutsack. We were playing a game of smear the fear on one of the neighbors small front lawns and the football was being grabbed and tossed around and run for by like 6 of us kids from my size, smaller, to big guys like Ed, who was the perpetrator of the act. And that was when he slammed the freakin point of the football square into my sack, and as I literally gag when typing this, made a pain like no other in my life. I limped my way like a senior up the hill and iced by balls for hours. Fortunately, my balls healed, are just fine, and proudly working!

-T Bag

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Back in high school me and some buds were playing a little street
hockey, with me in the goal. Good times were being had, with my buddies
taking turns ripping shots at me. I wasnt payin much attention when my
buddy was about to rip a shot at me from about 10 ft out. I had just
enough time to slide down for a kick save, and I got racked up
underneath the nutsack. The worst I've ever got it. I was down
instantly screamin in agony. After 10 mins on the ground, I had enough
energy to crawl to the porch, where I puked. It took a while, but i
eventually joined my buds in laughter and, well, laughed my balls off.

Keep on truckin Todd,

Larry
Detroit, MI
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Got a story involving someone being hit or hitting upside the testicles in one way or another?

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