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* Monday*s Nuts* *
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Back in the early 90's my best friend Dave's parents had an inground pool with the works, diving board, water slide and full concrete walkway around the pool. We had fun on the diving board but quickly learned that if we climbed up on the top of the water slide, then jumped off the side of it we could jump into the water way higher than we could by jumping off the diving board. Now, the diving board was positioned on the deep end of the pool, of course, in the middle, with the water slide off to the left side leaving about a 6 foot gap between the diving board and the top of the slide.

You had to be careful when jumping from the top of the slide not to jump to far or you would hit the diving board, but if you didn't jump to far enough you would risk hitting the side of the pool or the concrete below. Well, my friends brother Britt who was several years older than us was at the pool one day with some of his friends and some girls. Being that they were in high school and we were in junior high, it was the order of the food chain for them to torture and humiliate us as often as possible i.e., make fun of our lack or muscles, body hair, and lack of coolness in general. This was especially demeaning when there was high school girls around, girls with actual boob-ays!!!

Anyway, after making fun of us for not doing any tricks and simply jumping off of the slide, in front of everyone he climbs up the slide and brags about a how he is going to do a cool trick and reiterates on how lame we are. So with his feet on the edge he gets ready, then goes for the jump, he pushed off of the slide with one foot to try to jump higher but his foot slipped and he went straight down, straight down for about 10 feet, straight down with his legs in a Y shape. One leg hit the side of the pool and the other went into the water, and his nuts took a square hit from a 10 foot drop onto the edge of the concrete and the pool. Our jaws were to the floor as he slowly slid into the pool and emerged from the water crying like a toddler with a skinned knee.

My feelings were mixed, justice had been served, but at to great a cost? I mean, I loved the idea of him taking a hit to the balls, but a direct hit to concrete from a 10 foot drop? That was total nut annihilation, and perhaps more than anyone deserves. Nevertheless we had retaliation whenever he made fun of us from then on.

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