* Monday*s Nuts*       *            *
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So here it goes -
Phillip, the ex-bass trombone of my latin jazz group was playing catch with a couple of friends out in the parking lot when we were taking 5, and Arturo throws the baseball managed to hit his car and obliterate his rear window. Mind you, everybody in the group is under the age of 21 and this is the day of a gig. So Phillip is pissed that he now has to explain that his mom has to purchase another rear window, so he evens in with Arturo and tells him that if he got to take a good open shot at his nuts, he wouldn't tell his mom. So about 10 minutes before the gig, they go into a back room and all you hear is "THWAP!" then after the pain settled in, "thud." In the end though, Phillip told his mom what happened, minus the bargaining.

moral of the story - never ever settle for a nut shot, all it does it cause you pain

Eddie
p.s. - the website for the group is www.diazmusicinstitute.org

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When I was young, 100 years ago or so, I used to ride my bike everywhere. My mom asked me to go to the corner grocery store to pick something up for her. So I pull my red 26 inch Schwinn out of the garage and start down the alley towards the store.
 
The store is across a busy street and its rush hour. As soon as traffic ends from on direction, it starts coming from the other. I must have waited a good 10 minutes. Finally, I get the bright idea to move my right pedal up high so I can push down on it very hard and quickly move across the street.
 
So the coast is looking clear and I go for it. My right foot comes down hard on the pedal and immediately slips off causing my nutsack to come crashing down on the bike bar.
 
The pain went screaming through my body and my vision left me. I was hot and cold and dizzy. I s l o w l y lifted my leg over the bar, and walked the bike to the curb, with my legs spread. When I got to the curb, I laid the bike down, then sat down waiting for the flames in my groin to subside. I sat there for a good 15 minutes before my sack quit throbbing. I walked the bike across the street, got the stuff for my mom, and walked the bike home.
 
Fortunately, I do have children.......
 
Jeff


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So this one day at school we were having a "shoe fight." It's one of those things where you kick your shoes at each other and try to hit the other dude. There were about four of us firing off shoes at each other. Anyways, I turned around and from about five feet away this kid launches his shoe straight into my balls. Now it probably doesn't sound like it hurt that bad, but trust me, it did. What's worse is that it was at school, during class, so I didn't have a lot of time to recover before I had to go back to my seat. It sucked really bad.
 
John
Bellingham

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