* Monday*s
Nuts*
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Hey! I need more balls stories or the
poems are coming back! Send
it in.
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OK, this actually happened to my brother, and
it was all my fault.
When we were kids my younger brother and sister thought it was
incredibly funny to run into my room at full speed and try to knock me
onto my bed while I was standing in front of the mirror doing my hair
(it was the 80's.....every girl 'did her hair' back then). So one
morning I'd had about all I could take. My brother had body-slammed me
one too many times. So I ran after him, through the door and down the
hall. Well he was pretty fast and kinda wiry, so he was getting away.
That's when my instinct kicked in. I decided that my leg would reach
him, so, while he was mid-run, I kicked my leg up as hard and fast as I
could. Let me mention here that I was a gymnast and diver, so my legs
were pretty powerful. It was my intention to kick him in the rear.
What happened, however, was that my foot actually went up between his legs
and nailed him square in the crotch. Dead set.
He made a noise which can only be described as a balloon deflating and
crumbled to the floor, face down.
Needless to say, he had bruising and serious
pain which lasted for a
good week. My mom grounded me for about a million years, and from that
point on, whenever my younger brother or sister tried to knock me down
all I could do was take it. The great thing is that I obviously didn't
do too much damage because he's now the proud father of three crazy kids.
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I'm not a guy, but I do have a
"nut" story for ya:
A few
years ago, I was working in an ER at a local hospital. I was waiting for them
to finish evaluating a patient that had been brought in from a car accident so
that we could do the X-rays when I heard a doctor say, "That is the
largest scrotum I've ever seen." Of course, I look up, and I see this
poor guy's balls are the size of a basketball!
I asked
the doctor what was up, and he explained that the patient had a punctured lung
and the excaped air will collect in any free cavity in the body. In this case,
the air expanded his scrotum as it collected there. It is actually not an
uncommon thing to have happen.
-Cody in PA
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In grade school we played dodge ball in PE quite a
bit - this was back in the '70s before the "everybody wins
or nobody wins" wimps reduced PE to an annoying competitionless class.
At any rate, we'd been playing for a while and we were whipped
into a frenzy and starting to get rowdy. I was facing off with a
kid, Monte S, if I remember correctly (and Monte, if you're reading this,
man, I forgive you) He was a good sized kid and strong. He
had one of those little dodgeballs about the size of a softball.
When he wound up to huck it at me, it looked like he was going to try to
sweep my legs so I jumped up and spread-eagled. The ball hit me so
hard in the nuts that it tipped me forward and I fell face first on the
gym floor - it happened so fast - and sounded (to me at least) like
someone clapping their hands together hard. I rolled into a
little ball and became conscious of the strong taste of tinfoil in my
mouth and a sort of "swallowed-chewing-tobacco" kind of dizzyness.
As quick as possible, I got up and made my way off the floor where the PE
teacher (who would later become my basketball coach) asked me how I was
doing. He was as professional and "concerned" as he could
possibly be, but he was fighting laughing so hard that he had to
speak in bursts and clench his jaw to avoid a complete ROTFLMAO fit.
I recently saw the movie "Dodgeball" and there was a scene with nut
ownage. Strangely enough, the memories it brought back were good
memories. Being a kid was a lot of fun; all things considered.
A few years earlier I slammed the tip of my .. in the hood of my dad's
truck. I was too short to reach the hood from the ground so I
crawled up on the bumper and slammed the hood. We were at the KOA
campground outside Rochester MN if I remember correctly. It split
the side open - gawd, it's a wonder I can breed. But alas, I digress
- you wanted nut stories; so there you have mine.
RH from OR
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Got a story involving someone
being hit or hitting upside the testicles in one way or another?
If you sent yours in a while
ago and you're mad that it's not been featured yet please resend.
Also let me know where
you're from...
Send
it in.
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