*Monday's Nuts **       *            *
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Gimme nuts stories! I'll also accept wang oriented material... Send it in. << WE NEED NEW STORIES (or Monday's Poets will return)

This is your final warning! Look at Monday's Nuts! Poetry will return next week if we don't get some new nutty stories in here!
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i Have a great ball game.
ok get six boys. each of u pick a different number between 1 & 6. roll a six sided dice. the one the number lands on lays on the ground 20 yards from a big tree. one person grabbs each leg and one on each arm and one on the head. spread his legs apart and run him into the tree as hard as u can. and thats the game

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last monday  a boy was grabing and touching my boobs amd vagani so i punch and kicked his nuts so hard. the next day i whent to him and kissed him and shocked his bals. now every day i grabe his nuts thats what is good about being a girl.

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When I was just a wee lad, my oldest brother tried to show me how cool he was when he jumped his BMX off of a bike ramp that was about 3 feet high.  In mid air he lost the seat and ended up land square on the handlebars with his junk hitting first.  He limped home in pain with out saying any real words.  To this day he has never spoken of the event and is only reminded of it by the cysts that he now has in his sack.  That was about 20 years ago!

Nards

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Original Message -----
From: Suzanne
To: oddtodd7@hotmail.com
Sent: Wednesday, July 20, 2005 12:50 PM
Subject: balls story

 

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5599001235&ssPageName=MERC_VIC_ReBay_Pr3_PcY_BID
 
You might want to check this one out - starts off pretty funny.  The auction is called...

I'M SELLING MY BALL SACK!

Who Wants To Kick My Ball Sack? WATCH THIS AUCTION!!

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I haven't read through all of the Tales O' Nut-Squashing yet, but I imagine there are a lot having to do with bicycles.  Mine has to do with a bicycle, too, but I think it's special.
 
When I was a kid, about 8 or 9, there was a homemade dirt motocross arena about two miles away.  It was across some train track from a grade school in an abandoned lot.  It was basically square with little bumps and jumps around the edges.  The big attraction was a giant jump diagonally across the middle.
 
This big jump had a giant take-off ramp, and a giant landing ramp -- with a giant empty space in the middle.  The sides of the ramps facing each other were perfectly vertical.  Normally, there was a 35MPH sign bridging the gap, so little kids like me could go over the jump without getting killed.
 
So I'm cruising around this arena, pretty far away from home, where I'm not supposed to be anyway, and I decide to take a trip over the big jump.  I'd done it before, with the street sign on, and I could almost make it across without hearing the twang of my wheels hitting the sign.
 
Needless to say, the sign was missing.  While I was in the air, I could only think, "But ... the sign is *always* there!"  My front wheel struck the vertical side of the landing ramp, and I was thrown forward, groin right into the gooseneck.
 
A bunch of other kids there (all of them older and none of whom I knew, by the way; people were just nicer then I think) came over to help.  I had started to cry, but seeing all the older kids gave me the strength to suck it up.  I'm not sure I'd be able to do the same today.  I waved them off, saying, "I'm okay, I'm just going to go home."
 
I tried to ride the bike away, but the pain was too much.  I limped the entire two miles home, kind of sniffling.  Thankfully, my mom wasn't home when I got there, and I went into the bathroom to inspect the damage.
 
Both of my nuts were still intact, but my sac was all scratched up and kind of bleeding.  That freaked me out and I started crying again.  But I remembered the older kids, and sucked it up again.
 
I ended up just putting some ice in a paper towel and laying on the bed for a while.  I don't think I ever told my mom about it at all.
 
Non- Tale O' Nut-Squashing Section:
 
Another time I was riding this same bike up the street and I popped a little wheelie and the front wheel came completely off.  The forks came down on the asphalt and launched me over the handlebars, headfirst into the street.  Ow.  Some neighbor dude put the wheel back on and I went on my way.  When I came home several hours later, I had a lump the size of a potato right between my nose and right eye.  My mom was pissed.
 
Chris
Aurora, IL

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Todd,

Just wanted to bust your balls.... heh a 14 year old kid wants to send you
pictures of his sack.... HAHAHAHAHA. Dude, hehehe. He said it would be hard
but worth it! HAHAHAHAHA oh oh, damn thats funny.

Damn its been a long day already.

Take care,
Gabriel


>i had a huge bruise about from 3 inches from my balls to my guch (u all
>know >what that is...) to my butt..well i have great pictures if u want me
>to send um it >would be hard but worth it for u todd just email me back if
>u want um...
>-Jake

 

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