*Friday's Nuts **       *            *
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Get hit? Got hit? Did hit? Seen hit? Hit self?! All in the nuts.  Send it in.

I have a story for you.  Sophomore year of high school.  I took P.E. Weight Training because I would spend a lot less time playing dodgeball and kickball and all that other nonsense.  We were playing flag football and I swear I must have pissed off some higher power because I got hit in the sack TWICE the same game the same fashion!  Pass is coming my way, ball goes between my hands( I have bad depth perception), bounces off the ground and into my groin!  It was funny, but it hurt, so I sort of laugh-groaned.  No one knew what to make of it as I didnít fall down either time, just sort of stayed in that mid-squat pose for a minute or two.


One time I was standing on a ladder (the top part, where you aren't supposed to stand) to change a lightbulb up high on my dining room ceiling, my two sons were play fighting 16 and 18, and rough housing to the max, when one of them got shoved into the ladder, causing me to lose my balance and land-legs open wide, gonads first onto the ladder!!! My legs dangled down the sides with no energy or ability to pick myself up and get down, it felt like 250 lbs of bricks crushing them, with my 195 lb frame, my voice literally went 5 octaves higher as I sang opera! My sons helped me down and laid me down and got me some frozen peas to put on my swollen grapefruits, they always think its one of my finest moments and reflect on the memory quite often!

Jim from Vegas


Watoozie Todd,
Embarrassingly, I admit that once I was victim to nutsocrunchitis , or the crunching or harshly impacting of ones own nutsack.  We were playing a game of smear the fear on one of the neighbors small front lawns and the football was being grabbed and tossed around and run for by like 6 of us kids from my size, smaller, to big guys like Ed, who was the perpetrator of the act.  And that was when he slammed the freakin point of the football square into my sack, and as I literally gag when typing this, made a pain like no other in my life. I limped my way like a senior up the hill and iced by balls for hours.  Fortunately, my balls healed, are just fine, and proudly working!
-T Bag    


Back when I was young and in Jr. High, I was hanging with 2 girls at my Jr. High School after school in the quad around sundown and no one was around, and the girl I was trying to get to know better asked me if I was ticklish. I said no, but she insisted on trying to see if I was. I tried to run away but her and her friend caught up with me, (they sort of surrounded me) and at first they just rushed in and grabbed me with like bear hug style grappling. But her friend got behind me somehow while I wasn't paying attention and suddenly I felt the sudden feeling of being grabbed in the balls from behind and from between my legs. It shocked me just enough to focus my attention on remedying that situation when my main friend pushed me and I fell over her friend. Once I was on the ground, she jumped on my stomach and they both grappled me until suddenly, I felt that surprise pain feeling in the nuts again. When you don't know it's coming, it feels worse.

Her friend must've had a testicle fetish or something because my main girlfriend was only tickling me now in the sides and ribs, but her friend was tickle pinching my nuts and was screaming out "I got ya', I gotcha, I gotcha by the balls' and they both snickered and laughed like they were 2 torture queens. I couldn't see her friend either. It was awful. Her friend was blocked from view by her body and I couldn't see what was happening. Only feel it. She was like pinching in a rapid plucking feeling like she was trying to pull on them but letting them go so they would slip out of her grasp. This felt awful. Right at the point of the testicle slipping out it hurts a lot.

After what seemed like forever, my friend started shouting commands at her friend like, "squeeze him" and "pinch him harder". I think they were testing me to find my breaking point. When I seemed to only be able to sqeak out high pitched noises, she started asking me questions and they were trying to play torture/question/answer time. I never felt so helpless in my life. She asked questions like..."Who do you like in school", etc. I was afraid to answer anything but her name for fear of what pain I might have to endure. But actually, I found it hard to say anything. I was having difficulty breathing. I wanted to curl up in a fetal position while being squeezed in the nuts but they wouldn't let me which seemed to amplify the pain. I found I couldn't move very good. The feeling of her tickling me in the underarms and her friend squeezing my testicles made me motionless and squirming at the same time. I could barely talk, and her friend started shouting and she'd squeeze harder and say, "talk louder, I can't hear you....talk louder or I'll squeeze harder" then she would squeeze harder because I wasn't complying, but this made it more difficult to talk even more so I started to get that panic feeling like I was in real trouble. Because I knew I couldn't answer back and she was threatening me with harder squeezes if I didn't respond. It was a real head game.

After a while they let go and waited for me to recover before walking with me home. Ouch, my nuts were sore for a few hours after that. I still have occasional nightmares about that evening.

I don't know why girls enjoy hurting the testes so much. My wife grabs my nuts in surprise attacks just for fun on occasion. That's the only way a girl can beat a man. By being treturous and devious. They could never win a fair fight in most cases. So they have to surprise the male by either eluring them making them think they are coming closer for purposes of arousal or just somehow distracting them and then they suddenly go for the nuts. It's a good thing she is not very strong or I'd be in trouble.


Back in high school me and some buds were playing a little street
hockey, with me in the goal.  Good times were being had, with my buddies
taking turns ripping shots at me. I wasnt payin much attention when my
buddy was about to rip a shot at me from about 10 ft out.  I had just
enough time to slide down for a kick save, and I got racked up
underneath the nutsack.  The worst I've ever got it. I was down
instantly screamin in agony.  After 10 mins on the ground,  I had enough
energy to crawl to the porch, where I puked.  It took a while, but i
eventually joined my buds in laughter and, well,  laughed my balls off.

Keep on truckin Todd,

Detroit, MI


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