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OCTOBER 2008

10/29

Sorry no daily factizizoid today! But if you're over here and you're bored.

Here's a lego video if you wanna watch it...

10/28

Today newslady told me that kids are going nutty cheating non-stop all hightech style. Some will scan in labels from a coke bottle and change the nutritional information to the answers to the test and then tape the label back on the bottle. But now teachers are fighting back. They can send a paper to some website that will scan it superfast for plagerism somehow by matching up the pattern of words or whatever. I remember this smart kid in highschool who would write all the answers down on a piece of paper and distribute them secretly around the class at test time. He'd literally throw answers to people he barely even knew. Weird move...

 Here's a cheater prospering on the Price is Right...

10/27

So today morning news people told me that more and more pets are coming down with OCD. Compulsive licking or pawing at stuff even arranging objects or something. I think Roscoe has OCD with his need for belly rubs in the morning and then his compulsive need to make doody in the street.

Lots of OCD dogs on youtubes of course.

10/26

Today I found out about a new diet that's like sweeping the nation. And that nation is Japan. Apparently some dude figured out if you eat like a thousand bananas everyday for breakfast then eat normal for the rest of the day you like lose weight super fast or something. And now there's like a banana shortage in Japan because everyone is going b-a-n-a-n-a-s for bananas...

Heres someone who loves bananas! (and not that fake diet love neither!)

10/25

News people told me today to never fly on American Eagle airlines like every again. That's one of those little commuter style planes. Apparently dudes have gotten all lazy about annoying things like 'regulations' and 'safety'. They've been busy overloading their planes and flying all imbalanced and stuff.  When asked to comment on accusations American Eagle spokesperson said, "Ay! We haven't had one crash yet so how bout you shut the f**k up?! After one goes down you can talk s**t about how we do s**t, a--holeface..." Then he took a swig from a flask and said, "Oh by the way... maybe if your momma did fly our planes they wouldn't be overloaded..." Then he put his mouth over the microphone and burped loud causing feedback...

Here's some airplane horror stories... sorta

10/24

10/23

Today I found out some dick outted doctors over the fact that alot of em are prescribing placebos to hypochondriacs. There's been an ongoing secret that doctors (if they thing you need nothing but need something...) Will 'prescribe' sugar pills or vitamins or whatever to fix you up. They do this because it works. But now the secret is out and hypochondriacs are celebrating... or not... or both. Depending on their level.

Here go Love Pills...?

10/22

So today I found out that some kid who leaked the new full Guns and Roses* album 'Chinese Democracy' is like in court and pleaded not guilty to leaking all the tracks on the net even though everyone knows he's gotta be crazy guilty.But it makes me sad that Axl is really going after this kid and not just beating him up on stage or something. This is something that could have been settled out of court rock and roll style. Not all formal and stuff. Or well...

Here's the first single...

10/21

Today I found out that Yahoo had like major layoffs today. (Was very sorry to hear that as always with layoffs). Apparently the Yahoo division that was laid off was the 'Division of Search Beyond the Entertainment Content Portable Technology Financial Rebrander Sales/Advertising Video International Music Download Wireless Original Global Product Development Division'. It was redundant within the company or something...

Here's screenshots showing the progression of Yahoo...

10/20

TV just showed me a new Axe commercial that I found weirdly disturbing. It's for something called Axe Chocolate. I guess they did a survey somewhere and found out chicks really like chocolate so dudes are walking around smelling like chocolate now. I dunno. Doesn't seem right. A simple googling taught me that chicks like lavender, pumpkin pie, licorice candy, cucumber and baby powder, men’s cologne, barbequed meat, cherries and sage.... more than chocolate.

Here's a wacked game on the Axe site. Yeah there's a plug in but it's almost worth it for its disturbing terribleness...

10/19

So tonight I found out that dads might get some version of post-partum depression just like moms do. Apparently there's some sort of hormonal shift in some dads that make them feel depressed and claustrophobic and stuff after baby arrives. This may be them glomming onto their wife's depression or it might be one of their own.  (Or the loss of boob access for a while). But most guys who get this post-partum depression often want to like get out of the house and go play golf or something and not deal with the baby, wife, or home stuff. I dunno. From what I know about new-borns is they're pretty boring/ They really are just sort of lying around all lazy and stuff--  and any dude who wants to go out and do other stuff doesn't seem that mental. But I could understand a new mom getting pissed at new dad for being all golfy and stuff.

But if you are a sad daddy. There is help here.

10/17

I don't promote alot of shows here and stuff because its whatevery but I watched Chocolate News yesterday on Comedy Central and actually thought it was pretty funny. So I guess that's sort of a fact of sorts. It's not all sciency or politicalish or stuff. But it's a little something something... starring David Alfred Greer....

... being Phat Man!

10/16

So today I found out that our government has been busy tapping the phones of our soldiers in the Middle East. I guess they don't trust our own soldiers and stuff. People are sort of outraged because alot of these phonecalls to wives or whatever involve phone sex and the government is transcribing the talks and passing them around. It's weird. Sometimes when I talk to friends and make fun of the government... I do think that there just might be someone listening. It does feel a little weird. Anyway, stop tapping our soldier's phones wangchung eavesdropper pervs!

Here's some NIN jibberishness...

10/15

Hey! No daily fact yesterday because I was so riveted with boredom while watching the debates. I think the moderators should have been Dennis Kucinich, Mr. T and Rush Limbaugh. That would have been fun. But whatevs. Sorry for the no factoid here.

But here's a bunch of microscopic images that are coolio to lookat...

10/14

So this morning I found out that there's alot of green gadgets coming our way. Tech companies are busy cranking out products that are less carbony or more biodegradable and stuff. They're even inventing new gadgets that are 'green'. I guess that's coolio. Although I'm still not sure what to do with my old computer tower, harddrives, old tvs, old stereo components and all that crap that's sitting in my hallway...

Here's some greenery for ya if you wanna go nerdygreen.

10/13

Local news jerk told me last night that since the economy has been rollercoasting that there's been an increase of sleeplessness in people. Said that the worries of the marketplace are bringing out some closet insomniacs or whatever. After that he reported that the sky is blue and that he 'made a pee pee today'. Then he said, 'In other duuuhhhh news...' Bad stuff is bad. Good stuff is good..'

Here's Met fans screwing with some sleeping Met fan...

10/12

TV showed me today that elephants are now getting into text messaging. Basically out in Kenya they've been expanding farms and stuff and elephants are like, 'OooH! Free food!' And the farmers are like, 'Get out of here crazy elephant!' And they fight or whatever. So now all the elephants get some sort of simchip in their collar and if they cross over some line GPS will send a message to the ranger saying stuff like, 'Big Mel is approaching Farmer Joe's Farm'. And the ranger will got there and make the elephant go away.

Texting is coolio but if that elephant was Twittering... I'd sign up and be siked...

10/11

Today I found out with all the banking stuff that the scammers are out in full force on the interwebs trying to rip people off. They're blasting out emails to people saying their bank has been bought up by another bank and they need to log in and confirm whatever. Of course they end up on some scammy website and get screwed. At this point it should be a rule of thumb that all email should be immediately deleted unread. Even if it is from someone you know. You never know. They could be a scammer now!

Here's how girls withdraw money from ATMs

10/10

So today news people told me that the toilet on the International Space Station is like clogged up again and broken. They're not sure what happened this time but the public relations person released the following statement:

"Unfortunately the toilet on the international space station is broken again which presents obvious problems for the astronauts. We suspect someone made a big doody and used too much paper and now it's all clogged up plus there's doody floating around and one time one of the astronauts was sleeping a doody floated by and landed on his lip and he jolted awake and slammed his head into some pipe and went unconscious and while he was unconscious the astronauts drew all over him in magic marker and wrote words like, 'SpaceBitch' on his forehead. Things are deteriorating rapidly and someone made pee pee in the freezer. We need to get the toilet fixed because if aliens stop by to visit they will think the human race is disgusting and flies around in doody filled ships. The end."

I googled "Doody in space" and came back with only one result. See if you can find the "Doody in space"

10/9

Apologies for no daily factizoidal yesterday! I was running around all day and didn't get to see much of the television picture shows when I got home. Was pretty zonked. However, I did watch 'The Pope of Greenwich Village' the other night and I thought that movie was a solid C-. Wasn't it supposed to be like awesome and stuff? (Cue buzzer)...

Maybe I'd watch more TV if it was more like this Life Wall thing...

10/8

Tonight local news people told me that a restaurant in Times Square called the Hawaiian Tropic Zone is in big trouble because the management stuff was busy groping and sexual harassing the bikini clad waitresses or whatever women were wandering around in there. Anyway, these chicks are suing for 600 million dollars. Like one dollar for every time they were inappropriately touched by the sound of it. They call the restaurant 'The Hottest Place on Earth'... Umm... duh stupids!! Everyone knows the hottest place on the Earth... is the Sun! Stupids!

Speaking of hot here are some hydrogen and nuclear splosions...

10/7

Sorry no factoid yesterday. I got all caught up watching the debate and I have three suggestions to make them more fun.

#1 Supersoakers. Candidates are allowed to spray their opponent three times over the course of the debate.

#2 Product placement. Candidates have to endorse three snack products during the night when a bell rings.

#3 Pets are welcome. Candidates are allowed to bring their pets and they have to tell one pet story.

That is all. That's all I have here today.

Wanna see how debates used to look?

10/6

Last night I local news wang told me that something called the Ig Noble awards were given out last night to various whatevery achievements of things and stuff. Sort of like the Nobel but this is all iggy. Couple things proven. Food actually tastes better if its got a good crunch. Duh. And than heaps of wires will eventually tie into knots. Creepy and ghosty. Oh! Also on a googling found out that Coca Cola is an effective spermicide.... No don't get any ideas, Fried Fred Joehonson!

Wanna know the truth about coca-cola with orange??! You heard it here first!!! (well second... this brit nelson brother was techincally first...)

10/5

Back on track with daily facts! Fact I learned yesterday? The most dangerous road in the world. There's a crazy dangerous road in Bolivia that causes like 300 deaths every year. It's one of those crazy super long roads that are on the edge of a cliff the whole time and there's no guard rails and there's trucks and motorcycles and it's two lanes and there's boulder crashing down and mud slides. I does sort of make me wanna drive it... virtually. It's called the Yungas Road...

This isn't a road where you can fiddle with the radio...

10/2

News dude told me that scientists discovered that AIDS virus is like 100 years old. I guess its having a birthday or whatever. I don't get it though. The US government started developing the AIDS virus 100 years ago? I think even the most passionate conspiracy theorists can really get onboard with the government launching AIDS on the world. That's a stretch beyond the moon landing...

Take the Chris Crocker (Leave Britney Alone) challenge... Make it past minute one of this cockamamie "rant" and you'll win a mental stamina award!

10/1

So there was a news story about how one of those medical helicopters crashed and a bunch of people died. It was heading to the hospital after air lifting a couple car accident people. Very sad and tragic of course. But you gotta imagine tho as that helicopter was going down those car crash people must have been like, 'You have GOT to be kidding me?!'

Here's a bunch of helicopter crashes if you're in that kind of mood today...

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