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Today newsjerk told me that North Koreans have been f-king with us by doing cyber attacks on our government info or websites or whatever. To collect info and/or do damage. I think it's probably time we enlisted a group of hardcore hackers that function as a cyber Delta Force so if anyone steps to the United States in cyberspace we'll be like loaded up with like crazy atomic ninja shit that'll bring down their grid for like a month. Just as a lesson or something. Or replace every image on their websites with like an american flag with a F finger infront of it...

Here's more info about how the NK has been messing with US.


Apologies for no daily fact on this day. I gave myself three dead arms. One dead leg. And a headlock noogie as punishment...

Spiderman gives Venom a noogie:


Now I'm not typing this because the Yankees lost last night-- but I took a hard look at the Phillies uniform and I realized two things.

1. They remind me of Penelope Pitstop.

2. The 'stars' on the chest that they use to dot the i's look like tassles on boobs that are too close together.

That is all. So it has to be a 4-1 victory now... big whoop. Sweeps are boring anyway...

Just in case you missed are local paper that went over the top. This here...


So last night I was watching this show about log rolling and log climbing and log slicing and logs in the toilet. (Scratch the last due to untrue and immaturity). Anyway, I found out that a girl Lumberjack is called a Lumberjill. Not sure if that's a common term or not but it was the first I'd heard of it so here it is as a fact!

Here go some World Champion Lumberjills!


Sorry no daily factizoid yesterday but here's something new...

The Last Supper with Rubix Cubes...


Tonight on 60 Minutes I learned about massive Medicare fraud and how dudes are like setting up shop and billing the sh*t out of medicare and raking in crazy dollars. Pretty easy scam. Set up a storefront. Get a list of names of people on Medicare. Tell Medicare they need like an artificial limb or something. Never do anything but collect a check. The stimulus package earmarked $200M to stop the scamming from going on-- but who knows. I get the feeling Cash for Clunkers was running at 25% fraud minimum. Wait a year then we're hear...

Here's an uncover investigation. Not sure why the newscaster is wearing her daddy's jacket...


So I heard from local news jerks that I have something new to be afraid of out here in Brooklyn. Mumps. Apparently there's some sort of weird mumpy outbreak round these parts and if someone comes near you who is all mumped then you gotta be like, 'Ahh! Get away, mumpy!' and make the sign of the cross with two fingers. And they said if you get cornered by multiple mumpers then you just have to pretend you're already mumped by pointing at your arm and being like, 'Oh man. Another mump?! I got these things everywhere...' And hope the mumpers are too mumped out to even notice that you are unmumped.

I youtubed mumps and this came up cause there's a mention of mumps...


Today I found out how to find the perfect bra. Here's what I learnt:

-- Alot of you chicks are wearing the wrong bra size and for the most part y'all should be wearing a bigger bra.

-- T-shirt bras are wrong in the Fall. (not sure what a t-shirt bra is btw).

-- You should make sure you wear a bra that matches the style of your shirt. Like if you have a low cut shirt you should have a demi-bra... (or something. not sure what that is either.)

Here are some bra myths busted!


So this morning I saw that NASA unveiled a 'new' rocket which looks like it sucks. I've been complaining for years that the space shuttle is so 1987 and that I need to see some improvement in the space program or we should seriously scrap it and figure out how to control the weather instead or something. Anyway, NASA rolls out this rocket that looks like it was co-designed by Playtex--- and they claim one day it can take people to the moon. I don't know. If this is what they come up with for a new rocket... it looks like NASA is going backwards...

Here's the Ares I-X. (Whatevs...)


Sorry no daily factizoid yesterday. I'll post a fact later today that will totally make up for the fact that there's no fact here and stuff! How bout them apples?!

But if you're in the mood to learn... here's the bouncing pebble toad!


Today I found out about one of those god-doubt level diseases. Apparently, there's some rare disorder thing that changes muscle into bone. Yeah. Just how it sounds and eventually the person with it gets all immobile and stuff. With stuff like that it is a little like, 'Really god?' I know you work in mysterious ways and all that... but we can cut back on the mystery a little bit with these weirdo pointless mysterious diseases or whatever.

In lighter news it seems like they came up with a cancer treatment for dogs! FDA approved!


Tonite I seen there's a new camera coming out that creepily can capture every like moment of someone's life. I guess the concept is that you strap this on your baby's head or something and it takes a picture every 30-seconds until the kid is like 100 years old or something. Then you can make a flipbook youtube video from mommy staring into crib all the way through the hoverbus speeding at the person while they bend over to pick up a hundred dollar bill or something (btw in the future a hundred dollar bill is worth a penny... Like the old saying in the future: Find a hundred. Pick it up. All day long you have good luck.--- unless you're in front of a hoverbus.)

Here's a link to more bout that and stuff...


So anyway, yesterday was balloon boy day which has now been exposed as a hoax. It was first exposed as a host when they said the guy was on Wife Swap. You don't go on Wife Swap and later have an accidental hoax. It would be funny to see him spend some time in jail and then be wife swap for the prisoners. And they can make a new show out of that. And then they can tell everyone it was a hoax... even though it wasn't at all.

Here's the boy in the plastic bubble:


So dudes in Tokyo say they maybe figured out that heart failure can be prevented. They like found the gene that makes the heart kickout and can like tweak it into not doing that or something. They say they did it in mice and that they're all gung ho about it. Anyway, I think it's time mice passed the baton on experiments in the lab. They've been doing it for years (along with monkeys and bunnies or whatever). It's time for a brand new lab test default. What about whales? Lab whales? Or something?

Here's some info there re: the heart stuff.


I guess yesterday was the official start of getting hammered that I should buy Windows 7. Commercials and articles and all sorts of stuff is yelling at me that this needs to be done. So today I decided to see what pre-fab hubbub by visiting Microsoft and seeing how they brag. Here's a walkthru that seems like CD-ROM circa Windows 95 to me.... plus you gotta install Silverlight to watch it. Hmm..

Here's a link.


So last night I sort of half watched a show about 2012 doomsday and it left me super unconcerned. The world is not ending in 2012. Done and done. But could you imagine all the twittering that would be going on in the final moments. Like OMG! A FIRE FLOOD STORM! AWESOME! WTF!!!? or 'Just moved next door to Spongebob!' or 'Comet landed in my living room! Roasting marshmallows on it!' or 'Neighbor I hate just floated by. Can you say mixed feelings?' or 'Hate to be an Allstate guy today! This succcksss!' or 'Anybody got an extra rocket! I wanna bail on this fukt up planet...'

Here's a 2012 game...


Today I see that we bombed the moon because scientists want to find out once and for all if there's water on the moon. I guess the concept is they can tell if a bomb hits if it's a dust crater or a splash or something. I dunno. I think we should just move past 'Is there water there?' with any planet and assume there IS water there because secretly we all know there is water on the Moon (obviously) and there's water on Mars (double obviously). So if that's assumed... then what? Colonization? What's the difference if there's dirty moon water up there. Nobody's gonna drink it. Let's just get on with it already! It's enough of this fiddle faddle fodder!

You wanna buy a rock <cough I mean "Alien Head Sculpture" for $19,000?


Sorry nay on the Daily Fact yesterday! But if I saw this on the tv I would have totally hooked it up totally... Kinda coolio. I want them in my neighborhood!


Today I seen on some show that there's a coolio new invention coming out for people who don't remember to take their meds. It's like an alarm system built into the bottle. It flashes a light when you're a little late. Then it sounds some sort of beeping noise if you miss it past that. Then after that it starts hopping around on the table and opens the kitchen cabinets and starts shoving stuff onto the floor until you come in and get it to stop by taking your meddies...

Here they go here!


Today I was sort of relieved to find out that most iPhone App creators aren't really getting rich of them. There's like too many apps and people like stuff for free and developing costs are high and it's hard to get exposure and people might be burning out on stupid useless apps and maybe the novelty is gone and all that. So it's frustrating cause dudes went in there full blast and are not raking in the bucks...

Not me thought! MepBall on iPhone just crossed the 10,000,000* sold mark! Booyah! In your face other app creators...

*untrue. not even close... but buy one anyhoo!


Last night I watched Mad Men which I like-- except I don't like one thing. They break for commercials in weird places. Almost it seems like its at random. Like midconversation or whatever. Good thing I tivo and don't have to actually watch the commercials... (although I would if they showed commercials that aired in the early 60's! wake up television people! dig into those old coke commercials! old wonderbread and match the commercials to the year of the show! I'd actually watch those!)

Commercials like this!


Yesterday I watched my top 5 show called Hoarders. And I gotta say I sort of disagree with the techniques that are used on the show. It's like this. They find the hoarder. They show up and they calmly talk about how they filled their house up with junk. Then they get 1-800-GOT-JUNK to come over. And then basically piece by piece they throw stuff away--- giving the hoarder the option to hold onto whatever they feel is 'important'. And alot of time this system fails because everything is important to them.

I think the better thing is like Surprise Makeover show. You send them on a free trip to Hawaii for a week. You throw everything away while they're away. And then pretend some other hoarder robbed them while they were away. Get the cops involved and everything and talk about how some hoarder stole their hoard. That way they can't be mad at anyone because it was a crime and all that...?

Maybe not. You can watch a free Hoarder here. This dude hoarded like 60 cars...


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