October 2002


The tradition of the jack-o-lantern came over from Ireland. But back in day the Irish would carve jack-o-lanterns out of turnips. When they brought the tradition to America, the colonists looked at the Irish carving up their turnips and they rolled their eyes and thought it looked like a real pain in the ass. But the jack-o-lanterns they liked... so they Americanized it and switched to carving pumpkins -which was easier and funner and bigger or whatever.  It beats carving turnips in any case...

Here's a recipe for some Spicy Roasted Pumpkin Seeds.


This cowboy who was like a dude ranch guy taught me two things today. One: 10-Gallon hats are called that because back in the day cowboys used  them to feed their horses or put water in there for them or something. And two: 'Chaps' are actually pronounced 'Shaps' cause chaps is short for the spanish word 'chaparejos'. 

Here are the top 100 commonly mispronounced words. Alot of em are wrongly familiar to me.


The TV told me that napping in the afternoon is very healthy. It refreshes and provides a boost of energy and greatly improves performance. So when I was working and I would sometimes fall asleep like holding a pencil in one hand and my other hand on my forehead to give the impression that I was thinking hard about something... it was actually a good thing? In a way that was kind of 'working' as I was improving my performance?

Here's a site that takes the pro-nap stand. 


I watched the Pet Psychic. Tonite she helped 'Bonkers' a black bear who makes a living as an actor (gentle ben tv movie etc.). He apparently has an upset stomach sometimes. Because Bonkers is unable to talk (which limits him as an actor professionally) Animal Psychic lady had to communicate with Bonkers mentally. She determined that Bonkers had a parasite and they did tests and found out he did. And they fixed Bonkers. He still can't talk though.

Here's a free tarot card reading. Mine freaked me out a little.


I watched a show tonite about these Japanese Giant Hornets. These things are frickin scary huge and they're like crazy killing machines all ripping up other bees. Like cute honeybees or whatever.  They kill lots of people every year too. If they were in Brooklyn I'd probably stay inside 24 hours a day instead of 23. And just order take out or whatever.

But some people like to drink hornet stomach juice for energy. Even if this works... who the hell tried it first?


Gomez Addams blatantly popped a boner right on TV every time Morticia Addams spoke French.

Meet The Boners.


I watched Sci Squad today and they told me all about motion sickness. The show today was all about 'barf'. I found out that NASA nauseates astronauts to the point where they wanna puke. Then train them how not to puke. It's all mind over matter type stuff. Throwing up while weightless is apparently very uncool.

Amusement park rides that I've puked on or after: The Rotor, The Spider, Tea Cups


Today I done watched some rodeo. It was the PRCA Tour and a bunch of rodeo chicks were riding horses around barrels. Twas a close competition- but the event was taken by 57 year-old rookie Lucy Schnabele who beat all them young whippersnappers. Congrats to Lucy!

Wanna be a pro rodeo chick


I found out that on the 26th of this month San Fran will be hosting something called Flugtag day. Where people build 'flying machines' and try to fly them over the bay or something. Most apparently just get shoved down the runway, go off the edge, right into the water, and sink. One genius this year built his plane out of concrete. 

Here's a video of some of em doing the splashdown.


The GBU-28 bunker buster bomb can detect how many walls it smashes through before it gets to the room that it's supposed to blow up in. It can even detect when the thing it needs to blow up is in the room so it blows up the right thing like electronics or whatever. 

Here's some info on the GBU-28 in Russian? Not sure...


The TV taught me that in Transylvania the undead are called "strigoi". And that Humedoari Castle is invested with strigoi. That evil strigoi thing is probably bad for tourism. Most people don't travel to see strigoi. They like beaches or like old friendly buildings and things.. Not strigoi that wants to like rip your head off and stuff..

 Here in the States we buy our strigoi on the net. For $6.39 ($9.59 canadian). 


On Discovery Health I found out that doctors don't really know exactly what causes hangovers. It could be the alcohol combined with lack of sleep or lack of food or dehydration. Different people get hangovers in different ways. Different mixes of booze or whatever. The doctors couldn't even recommend an effective treatment. Doctors don't know jack about curing hangovers. 

Here are a bunch of cure recommendations tho.


Sorry no fact today. I was out and about doing this and that.


The Science Channel taught me that the first speeding 'arrest' was back in 1899. This frickin maniac was cruising down Lexington Avenue all out of control going 12MPH. 

Here are 10 ways to get out of a speeding ticket.


The TV told me that scientists still can't figure out why hundreds of dolphins swim up on beaches every year. It's called stranding. Because dolphins navigate by using the earth's magnetic pull there might be something screwy with the earth's magnet. Or it might be just one dumb dolphin who insists they're going the wrong way and the other dolphins are sick of hearing him whine about how he never gets his way when they're traveling around and just go along.

Here are some dumb fish jokes.


If you wanna go mummify something today like the ancient egyptians you gotta get your hands on this salt called 'naton'. Get yourself some naton and use it inside and out of the dead thing. They'll be good to go for 5000 years or whatever.

Here's info if you wanna go mummify your pet.


The TV told me that in 2025 we'll be living in homes that are 'ambitel homes'. You'll wake up in the morning and the house will wake up with you. Telling you news and stuff. The house will track where you are by a necklace you wear. When you go to pee, the house will test your pee pee to see if everything is ok and let you know the results. If you pee on the floor a wireless 'moppet' robot will come by and mop it up.... etc.. etc.

It's a start. We'll work our way up to Irona.


During the Cold War the CIA got all involved with the idea of 'remote viewing'. Basically using psychics to spy on the Russians and pinpoint locations for stuff and stuff. They'd sit in California and use their mental abilities to spy on the Ruskies. ESP was all the rage back in the day then.

Check out this psychicnessability. Ready? Think of a number ONE to TWENTY (1-20). Think hard. Visualize the number. See it? Now click here.


Sorry no fact today. I fell asleep while watching the UAW-GM 500. I figured I'd grab a racing fact -then I passed out. When I woke up I assumed I wrote one up but now that I'm updating things I realize I didn't put up a fact. I just took a nap.


I found out today that cheez doodles were invented in the 1930's when some guy was working on finding a new source of animal feed. The show told me that they get puffy from a steam process and that 220 doodles are produced every second. 

Cheez Doodle pod people here.


The TV told me that scientists think that the moon was actually born out of the earth. Like a long time ago something the size of Mars crashed into the earth and smashed off all this stuff out into space and one of those things became the moon. That's what they said. But how the hell are they supposed to know? Scientists making up stuff to scam up money I think. 

They hand in some gobbidy gook like this and then rip off the government. Government people are too embarrassed to say they don't understand so they throw money at the problem so they don't lose their jobs, right? Cause they don't wanna look stupid. You don't fool me scammy scientists with your making up stuff! I can make up stuff too! Like this... um.. umm... OK! there's only 8 stars in the universe but they're like stationary disco balls reflecting off each other to give the illusion that there are infinite stars. See? Here's my chart to prove it! Gimme money frickin government people! For my "research" (yeah right..) 


I was just flipping channels to get a fact, but my digital cable box keeps like 'freezing' on channels. I've turned it on and off and unplugged it and plugged it back in but something's wrong. It's either like a black screen or it just locks on one image. I hope it's nothing serious. I'm heading out for a bit and will try to find something during primetime if it's workin. Please don't be broken cable box...

*My cable box started mysteriously working fine again. I ended up watching a show called Good Morning Miami. I think it would have been a better show if my cable box stayed the way it was.


TRL on MTV taught me that someone is selling Eminem's trash on eBay. I'm typing this at 3:45PM and there's only 22 minutes left! Hurry hurry! Current bid stands at $1000. One thousand dollars. $700 + $100 + $200.. For some of his trash.

Here's the link.


I watched a nauseating show on the Travel Channel called 'How the Rich Stay Young'. They taught me that if you want to keep your skin healthy you should go to this vineyard in France and use grapeseed products and soak in a grape bath and get rubbed down with by-products from grapes and stuff. It was all about the grapes. 

They said alot of big celebrities go there. Including this one.


On channel 9 news tonite I saw a segment about how to pick up girls. The guys on the show said you should approach girls with a 'wingman' someone to distract the girl's friend. And they also said you should use big words like 'tenuous' and 'derivatives'. They also said you should use the girl's name alot in conversation.

Here are some pick up lines if you don't have a wingman nor know big words.


I watched a thing about Prarie Dogs. They're kind of cool. They build coolio underground tunnelized metropolises and the mounds of dirt around the holes in the ground are used as dams to prevent flooding. The show said that people who have problems with prairie dogs can get them vacuumed up right out of the ground and 'relocated'. They didn't mention that the place they get relocated is most likely prairie dog heaven.

Here's their reaper.


VH1 done taught me that the best selling reggae single of all time is Informer by Snow (a canadian). A licky boom boom down. 

Here's Informer. Go Canada!


I watched a show on Discovery about a dog named Whiskey. I found out that dogs can notice slight changes in odor when someone is about to have an epileptic seizure. They can be trained to actually warn people that an attack is on the way. How cool are dogs?

Here's s'more info.


I watched this show called Good Day Live today. And this blonde chick was holding up the tabloids like the Globe and the Enquirer and telling me about the top stories. You know when some chick on TV is reading you stories from the tabloids it's time to shut off the tv. By the way, George Clooney is now dating his ex-girlfriend's best friend (or shall we say EX-best friend!) Scoop!

Here's the ex. Now I'm going outside.


I watched a show about this treasure hunter dude Mel Fisher. He went looking for this way old sunken ship called the Atocha that sunk off the coast of Florida with a ton of treasure on it. At first he thought it would take a couple months to find the treasure but after major setbacks and losses the search went on for 16 long years. His motto the whole time was 'today is the day'.

Here's what he got for his attitude.


Sorry no fact today. I ate a bad burrito. Made me sick. Now must go to bed. Something was wrong with that burrito. I knew it while I was eating it but somehow I refused to believe it and I was hungry. That was a mistake. So here's a fact for you. If something tastes wrong... don't continue eating it like a big dope.

Click here to the previous month!>>>