Today on TV I learnt that the japanese are busy trying to control their dreams. There's this device available in Japan that you keep by your bed and tell it what you want to dream about. And somehow while you're asleep it will plug in those thoughts ...or so they say. Like you could dream about being on an island, or about eating ice cream sundaes, or about evil teddy bears with giant fangs that crawl out from under your bed backwards like crabs and then scatter all over you and you don't even have time to scream because as soon as you open your mouth one of the bears springs on your face like alien from the movie Alien and then an alien teddy bear bursts out from your stomach or whatever, ...or you could skip that and ask it to give you a dream about clouds or hot air balloons or something...
Here be it.
Hey me gonna be running around lots for halloween weekend so I'm not gonna promise any facts here till Monday. Maybe one will pop up but I'm posting this now just in case nay. Have a happy halloween y'all! Don't eat too much Pez. And send in your pumpkin for the contest!
Here am be some costumes of old and bad.
Tonite TV told me about some tradition in Spain where they make a human tower once a year. Every year they want to build it a little higher than the year before or whatever. I wonder how it all got started. Maybe it was 100 years ago when when three drunk guys tried a triple piggieback on the street. Then one more guy jumped on the back of the backs and they all fell down. Then one drunk guy looked up and was about to say something but instead he barfed on himself. Then the other guy said the whole thing was awesome and that they gotta do this again next year.
Then eventually the puking and the piggybacking fade away and the whole thing goes commercial-- and years later it looks like this.
Tonite I seen that the curse of the bambino was broken. People are celebrating on the tv all happy and stuff. But I think people are forgetting about something. People are forgetting about how the Bambino feels tonite. He's had a streak of losering up the Red Sox which has now been broken. He's sitting up in heaven (or wherever) right now all mad about his curse streak being broken. Doubting his curse ability. Maybe wondering who he has to go curse next to make up for it. Maybe the he'll curse the Islanders... yeah hopefully the Islanders...
What's the best team chant or sports mascot or whatever with the sporty sports?
Sorry no daily fact yesterday. I didn't see much TV. But today I promise to stay on the couch all day and find something good. Maybe nature fact? Maybe outerspace? Maybe something about goats? Who knows? TV awaits! (unless I go see The Grudge)
Somehow I get if I just play around with the website I'll feel like I've seen the movies.
So today I lerrnt that we can make plastic out of corn. Nobody cared until oil prices shot thru the roof. Now corn plastic is competitive with regular oil-based plastic. Soon we'll start seeing corn-tainers (plastic containers) and all sorts of other stuff with be made out of corn like stereos and stuff or whatever. When I worked at a fruit stand I used to have to check the corn for worms. I shucked open the top and give a looksee. If it had a worm I had to chuck out the worm and chop off the top of the corn. Then put the corn back on the pile. So if you ever get an ear of corn in the husk with the chop topped off it's cause there was a worm there once. Just a little niblet of corn trivia for ya.
Here's how you can make some corn plastic at home...
Last night (but really after midnite so today) I learned on SNL (which by the way i think kinda sucks this year so far) that some dude was developing a machine to straighten bananas. He thinks bananas are curved and weird now but soon they'll be straight. Sounds like he has some issues. He says it's the best thing since sliced bread. Not sure if I'd go that far. Straight bananas. Ok... (insert sexual innuendo double entendred pun or whatever or something here.)
Here's the story there.
Today TV told me stuff about that shuttle disaster that happened like last year or whatever. Although no astronauts survived there were some worms on board and they survived the crash. They were in some protective containers or whatever. This showed science people that creatures like that could survive that amount of heat and speed on re-entry. Which means the origin of life coulda been when some microscopic worms or whatever entered our atmosphere riding on a comet and crashed on earth. It's proof that little creatures can survive that stuff. So what does that mean? It means that if you want to see a space alien just look in the mirror... maybe.
Remember Gloonork from Triton?
Sorry no fact yesterday. What happened was there was this thing with the thing but that thing got all screwed up because this other thing happened which made me forget things but when all is said is done I shouldn't be apologizing because it wasn't really my fault. I wanted to do the thing. It was the other thing's fault. That kind of thing.
You can learn things about stuff here.
I'm watching TV while on the computer and tv is telling me a bunch of sex facts so I'll type facts while I'm sitting here:
Men have had an average of 20 sex partners. Women 6. 25% women said they've been with only 1 sex partner. 12% guys of guys said that. 1% of women have been with 50 or more guys while 9% of men said they've been with more then 50 people. 83% of men say they like sex alot. While 59% of women said they like sex alot. 70% said they think about sex at least once a day while 34% of women said they think about sex once a day. 9% of americans have had sex for revenge. 75% of us would rather be married than dating. 21% men have cheated. 11% women. Who people cheat with? 69% friend 15% neighbor 37% coworker 39% strangers. 54% believe sex talk in chat room is cheating 72% women say its cheating. 12% have had sex in the office. 48% women faked orgasm. 11% of men have. Ok nuff typing. Done. Oh wait one more... 14% have had threesomes. K now done.
Here's a political sex poll (maybe not office safe) for ya. Most endowed? Go Rev Al!
Coincidentally, today I saw baboons on tv and found out that baboons have been into evolving lately. See it used to be that baboons guys would get in big fights and the winner of the fight would get to have sex with the baboon chick (or as they say in the scientific community 'Get the bah-poon'). But apparently this one dude baboon would always just watch the fights from up on the hill. And help take care of the baboon babies. And stay out of the fighting. Wimpy right? Turns out the wimpy baboon... was getting the most bah-poon of all! Baboon chicks dug his helpfulness and calmness! So now more and more baboons dudes are sitting on the hill, holding babyboons, watching fights.... and being sneakily studly.
Here's the difference between a baboon and a orangutan (holy smokes I spelled that and waited for the spell check to tell me I was wrong. but I was right! i spelled orangutan right on the first try! In your face Mrs. Stancarone! (my 3rd grade teacher)!
Sorry no daily fact yesterday I was all caught up with my computer headache. Am bettero now and will watch plenty of tv today!
I think I must have beat this at some point.
Tonite I found out that some woman in Australia has been sleepsexing. Basically like sleep walking except she wanders off and does it with people. Her boyfriend busted her when he followed her out one night or something. Sleepsexing? More like she got totally busted and just stammered out something like this.. "No honey! What am I doing? I'm not! Who is this guy?! I don't know! What am I doing here? Who am I? I don't know... because... I... I... I'm asleep! Zzzz...."
The things that go on behind closed doors...
Today I found out that if you lived in Scotland in the 1500's and your wife was nagging you alot or whatever she could be punished by having to wear a 'scold's bridle'. It was basically metal headgear that would get strapped on their head and it would have a like a build in gag or something. Then dude would walk his wife around town on a leash. Ah the good ol' days...
Just kiddn. Here's what it looked like.
This site has a quiz for 'What kind of torture would you be?' (the site itself is torture too.)
I'm 'The Stake' btw...
Tonite I learnt that the St. Bernard's in the Swiss Alps are all being totally retired. Yknow those dogs that carry around brandy around their necks. Apparently there's alot better ways to rescue people stuck on mountains then sending a friggin dog up the hill to stare at them. The dogs never really even carried around booze that was just in the Chilly Willy cartoons or whatever..
Here's a whole buncho st. bernardo links...
So I was watching a show today about neanderthals. For a while science guys thought that humans existed on the planet at time as neanderthals but then the neanderthals liked died off or they all got eaten by dinomonsters or whatever. But recently they found a hybrid child that was like half-neanderthal half-human. So now they're thinking maybe the neanderthals didn't all get eaten up by dinomonsters- in fact they might have just did sex with humans and eventually just got like absorbed in genetically or whatever. At least that would be one explanation for why I'm so dang hairy.
Here's some 'if they mated' pics.
Usually I post goofy stuff here but I saw something on the tv tonite that was such a friggin a disgrace I figure I'd pass the word. Our military has totally dropped the ball on handing benefits for some seriously injured soldiers. Newly disabled guys come home from Iraq with no arms or whatever and get a big friggin paperwork hassle runaround in terms of getting financial support from 'the system'. This one disabled guy was looking to sell his house because he can't return to work and provide for his family. The military said they're working on fixing their fubared 'system' but unfortunately it seems it took the TV news people to make them stand at attention...
This song's a little rough but the video got me...
Sorry no daily fact yesterday. I was all psyched up to watch the debates. I got some chinese food (hot chili pepper shrimp) and a big thing of seltzer and I was set. At first it was kind of cool and fun. But after 20 minutes there were far too many words. Words. Words. Words. The words got blurry. I couldn't focus. And then I passed out. I woke up later to people yelling more words at me. I got tired of meaningless words and went to bed.
Some words have more meaning than others apparently.
Tonite Fox 5 News told me that somewhere out in Jersey (I was sort of half paying attention) they're looking into the idea of 'Skyweb Express'. Basically it's like a Jetsony type mass transit thing. People pile into cars and ride along tracks in the sky. Supposedly will clear up traffic problems. It seems kind of cool. You don't even need to pay attention to the road. You just hop in these little private cars and they go along the track all automatically. Anyway, if the project ever gets off the ground one thing is guaranteed... People will be doing it like animals in those cars.
Here'smore info on Skyweb.
Tonite I learnt about alien abductions and some guy tried to tell me that there is no such thing. The man on tv said they're just brain tricks caused magnets. When plates in the earth shift, crazy magnetic fields get released which affect the way the brain thinks and makes you experience hallucinations and smellinations and feelinations or whatever and it all adds up to seeing the 'Greys' (those typical aliens with the big eyes) They reproduced it in a lab by pumping magnetic waves into some college kids brain.
While looking for info on the Greys I found this here so here.
This morning I watched Pet Keeping with Marc Morrone (it's like the best Sunday morning show) and I learnt a few things.
1. If you have a cat and get a puppy, you want to keep the puppy out of the litterbox. You can do this by putting the litterbox in a separate room and block the door with a gate that only the cat can fit through. Not sure what to do if your cat is a fat cat.
2. Abe Lincoln didn't keep a dog or a cat in the White House. He kept two goats named Nanny and Nanko. Abe and his kids used to run around the lawn of the White House playing with the goats.
3. Marc told me about a new sport for dogs. It's called FlyBall and it's a dog relay race type situation. Here's a video of that (loads slow).
I found out today that back in the day Lysol got all greedy and made people believe that Lysol was good for more things than just cleaning or spraying or whatever. Lysol told people that they could gargle with it and told women that they could douche up with it and stuff. Of course they found out was false when people's insides were getting all scalded up and stuff. Sounds like marketing was way ahead of research and testing back then... good thing things are different now... achem yeah right... vioxx.
Here goes a Lysol ad when things were less subtly wrong.
Yeah there was no fact yesterday! So! What are you gonna do about?! Huh? Punk?! Oh you wanna be a wiseass about it! Gonna call me out about it?! Good! Let's go outside and settle up on this! It's go time, baby! Oh... oh, now all of a sudden you don't want to go outside? You just wanna sit there at your computer and don't wanna fight? That's right, beatch! You sit there and click around and think twice next time you wanna call me out on not having a daily fact! Punk!
Fight with google! Don't fight with me!
Today the tv showed me how we can solve our fuel crisis. All we have to do is kill lots and lots of turkeys. The Butterball turkey plant in Missouri has taken on this process called thermal depolymerization (TDP). Basically they take all the parts of the turkey that we don't eat and dump em in this flux capacitor processor and they churn it up or something and it spits out oil. The guy on tv said if we did this process on all our agricultural plants we wouldn't need foreign oil anymore. Seems like a plan. So that's hope... umm... except for the turkeys...
Poor solar power. It seems so dated and so futuristic at the same time.
Then again I just was reading up on stuff and I found this here... if it's not one thing...
Another marijuana fact! Today on Montel I found out something kind of outrageous. Here's the deal. The government catergorizes all drugs in what they call 'Schedules' and they're listed one through five. A Schedule Five drug is the lowest risk type drug. Over the counter stuff and stuff. No real threat. It goes downhill from there. Schedule Two drugs are considered high risk but are recognized as maybe having some medicinal value. Cocaine, morphine, smarties and opium are Schedule Two.. Marijuana is listed as a Schedule One drug. High risk and no medicinal value. Some other Schedule One drugs are mescaline, PCP, television, and heroin. Schedule One? Gross...
Beware! The Friendly Stranger!
Tonite the tv told me that I can't buy a beer for a soldier anymore. Apparently there was a site running for a while that let people buy a soldier a beer. Like you could buy a 40 dog for a GI or whatever. Seemed cool except that the military said they can't allow the public to be running around buying beers for soldiers. It was in violation of something or other. Everything is apparently everything cool is always a violation of something or other.
Sucks extra cause it looks like these guys could use a beer or two...
I found out today that potheads may have found a loophole for legalizing weed. Basically there's some law out there that allows people to challenge government data quality and they're saying that the government is high if they think that weed is as bad as they say. This group Americans for Safe Action is gonna try and do something about it and get weed off the bad list. It may be hard to win in court when they keep referring to the judge as 'Dude' or 'Yo'... .but maybe the government will listen to their argument in between their cigarette breaks.
You can buy pee.
* I got some complaints from people because they feel like I was suggesting all people who smoke pot are like stoners or whatever. I was just joking and dint mean it that way. I think marijuana should be legalized and stereotyping pot smokers probably doesn't help. So there.
Tonite I seen on the tv that Atari is coming out with a new retro system. It's called the Atari Flashback and for like $50 or whatever you get a console with like 20 games. Thinking of Atari Flashback brings me back to a flashback of my own. When I was a kid and Atari addict, I ran down the stairs on a Saturday morning to find my dog had chewed up my Atari. Joystick wires. Some cartridges were chawed. Pieces were everywhere. I stared at my dog who was mid-destruction and she gave me a sad look like, '... it...it... was my competition...i couldn't help it.... soooo... I win now?..'
Awww... nerd nostalgia...
Today TV told me about cellphone jamming and how it is increasing in.... frequency (in dr.evil voice) By "frequency," of course, I refer to both 'frequency' in terms of how often and 'frequency' like electronic frequency...Two meanings... frequency... it's a homonym (sort of)... Forget it. Anyway, there's jamming for good and jamming for bad. The good is they're using cellphone jammers in highly bombable areas so terrorists can't activate bombs via cellphones. So that's good. The bad news is some scumbag fancy hotels are jamming cellphones inside their hotel forcing guests to use their ripoff phones. Gross..
Here's a thing if you wanna personally jam.
Not putting up a daily fact is no way to start a new month. So that's why this fact is listed as 9/31 even though there is no 9/31. Tomorrow 10/2 is officially the first day of October round these parts..
Here's some poemy thing variations to help you remember how the months work. of course this doesn't apply to here today now.