FRIDAYS SANTA STORIES

So last year when I was 10 years old i wanted to sit on santa's lap
but we went there the last day at the last hour and he was gone. I
cried for half and hour for it is a tradition in the family for the
kids to sit on santa

Luca H-C

I don't know if this counts as a story or just a random memory, but whatevs. ^^;

I live in the FL Keys and have lived in this house all my life. Since we're the southernmost point in the US and stuff, obviously we don't have snow or chimneys. I guess my parents figured I would get confused by this, because when I was little they told me that Santa didn't deliver presents by sled with the reindeer and stuff. They said he came to our house by a boat-sled pulled by dolphins and manatees. We live on a canal by a harbour so this made sense. But for some reason even though I totally accepted this whole thing as true I never questioned why we still put out lettuce for the reindeer and not fish or something for the dolphins. I guess in retrospect my parents could have said the lettuce was for the manatees, but they never mentioned that. Maybe they were actually avoiding giving me the idea, because I doubt they would have liked leaving dead fish out in our living room overnight. xD

Happy Christmas tOdd and Roscoe and everybody!!

-Chey in FL

Quick thing about the Santa concept in its entirety:

I know Saint Nicholas was a saint, literally and figuratively, and his real story is touching. But this Santa Clause thing has gotten out of hand. Why do we tell our children that some fat guy with what must be unlimited financial resources poofs presents into our home every year? Why would you not want your children to know that the gift they received was from their loving parents who worked hard all year to have the extra money to buy this for them? Santa has such a good rep built from the sweat off mom and dad’s brow that he’s easily the most popular figure associated with Christmas, including and especially the person that it’s supposed to be about. And don’t get me started about the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy.

Todd (not tOdd)

K.C.

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So as a disclaimer, I'm sure someone out there would get this gift and think "Oh wow, how did they know this is what I always wanted?" But that definitely wasn't the case with me.

My friend, let's call her Sara, is one of those people who usually is right on the same wavelength with me. We like the same movies, read the same books, generally like similar music...we're pretty much on track. So Sara came over with a birthday present for me and she was all excited saying she saw this in the store and knew it would be perfect for me and I would cherish it forever etc. This was quite a build-up and a was totally excited because Sara usually has a good view for what I like.

I open the box and think, okay, this is going to be great. Sara really knows me and I'm sure she picked a great present. And out comes this miniature statuette from some museum store and it's.....a random egyptian pharaoh. Ugly black and gold pharaoh about 8 inches tall, heaving, and completely impossible to hide in a bookcase. My mind just goes....WTF, this girl has no idea who I am. This present is not only completely random but it was really ugly on top of that. I tried to choke back the vomit and smile and thank her. She, of course, kept asking me if I liked it and how it reminded her of me...no idea why.

After Sara left, I promptly stuffed it under my bed and have no idea what has happened to little Tutankhamen since. It's a good thing we now live in different cities or I would have to pull it out of oblivion to show her I "loved" her awful gift.

There is also an incident involving someone gifting wrapping a pair of shoes for me that they had used and decided they didn't like, and weren't even my size...but that's for another day. Come to think of it, those were pretty ugly too...I sense a trend.

Happy Holidays!

Leo

Boston, MA

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So as a disclaimer, I'm sure someone out there would get this gift and
think "Oh wow, how did they know this is what I always wanted?" But that
definitely wasn't the case with me.

My friend, let's call her Sara, is one of those people who usually is
right on the same wavelength with me. We like the same movies, read
the same books, generally like similar music...we're pretty much on track.
So Sara came over with a birthday present for me and she was all excited
saying she saw this in the store and knew it would be perfect for me and I would
cherish it forever etc. This was quite a build-up and a was totally excited
because Sara usually has a good view for what I like.

I open the box and think, okay, this is going to be great. Sara really knows
me and I'm sure she picked a great present. And out comes this miniature
statuette from some museum store and it's.....a random egyptian pharaoh.
Ugly black and gold pharaoh about 8 inches tall, heaving, and completely
impossible to hide in a bookcase. My mind just goes....WTF, this girl
has no idea who I am. This present is not only completely random but it was
really ugly on top of that. I tried to choke back the vomit and smile and thank
her. She, of course, kept asking me if I liked it and how it reminded
her of me...no idea why.

After Sara left, I promptly stuffed it under my bed and have no idea what
has happened to little Tutankhamen since. It's a good thing we now
live in different cities or I would have to pull it out of oblivion to show her I
"loved" her awful gift.

There is also an incident involving someone gifting wrapping a pair of
shoes for me that they had used and decided they didn't like, and weren't
even my size...but that's for another day. Come to think of it, those were pretty
ugly too...I sense a trend.

Happy Holidays!

Leo

Boston, MA

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I should warn the reader that the following story is somewhat of a downer so if you’re having a good year, perhaps you should skip it. On the other hand, if you are anticipating a challenging holiday, this might perk you right up.

Worst gift? Gads there are so many…probably because the worst gift giver is a relative of mine: my mom. I have circled the gift in a catalog, written the size next to it and she decides she knows better what to give me and goes and gets that instead…which is usually something I would never buy for even someone I dislike. Probably the worst Xmas was the year I didn’t get anything from my immediate family, only towels from my uncle. What happened was: my sister [who is rather, how shall I say, thrifty?] ordered a gift that was hung up in customs, so she gave me the picture of the gift [the actual gift arrived 3 months later] and she thought my folks would be giving me something. Well, my mom insisted on giving me this UGLY ASS coat [my sister got one too, much to her dismay] which Mom realized none of us liked, so she took it back and hid it to somehow pretend it didn’t exist….but because the coat was so expensive, she didn’t get us anything else. My dad, mistakenly, trusted my mother to take care of things. So I ended up sitting there watching everyone open presents while I sat there trying to pretend that everything was ok…and then gave up and went out for a walk ALONE. When I got back, my mother attempted to lecture me and tell me that I shouldn’t be upset because it was ruining everyone else’s day. I told her, in a polite way, to get out of my face.

So if there are those out there kvetching about how crappy their holiday is, GET IN LINE.

The only consolation to what would go down in my personal history as the WORST Xmas ever, besides the fact that I was an adult when it happened and capable of buying my own gifts for myself from now on, thankyouverymuch, was that a friend of mine gave me a gift and I left it to open it when I got back home. It was an ‘Easy-bake Oven’, a toy we had passed while shopping for her grandkids and I had commented that I had always wanted one as a kid and never got one. Thank goodness for good friends.

Signed me:

No name

No state

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A couple of years ago we did $25 grab bags at work. I got mine, and opened it--possibly the worst present EVER! A 8-inch tall skinny musical santa. Apparantly you pick up the hideous thing, wind it up, and it plays a tune. A skinny musical Santa? WTF? That thing really sucked ass. Hell, "The History of Insurance in America" book would have been better. Who buys that kind of thing for an office present? Someone very stoned--it had to have been. I ended up giving it to my mother-in-law, who actually liked it. And I thought she couldn't scare me any more....

To the person who bought this suck-ass present for a work grab-bag,

Shame on you

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...Or at least the anticipation of. (ooh! i ended in a
preposition!)

When I was around 6 years old, I shared a room with
one of my sisters.

Our family, being large and Irish, has always had
financial issues.
Mom and Dad would make the best of what they could:
We drank powdered milk, ate the generic version of
pretty much everything, and mom made Christmas wreaths
out of wire and saran-wrap or white garbage bags. For
that "frosty" look, i suppose.

But she's a resourceful lady, and ever so clever, so
her added touches of miniature blue candy-glass
ornaments and sprigs of green actually turned out
something most soothing, interesting, and festive.

She'd hang one from the inside of every possible
window and/or thing with a window in our house.

The bedroom I shared with my sister just happened to
be the one room on the second floor with a door WITH a
window looking out onto the backyard. SCORE! Big,
happy frosty wreath with the blueness and sprig
shmocked onto there!

But where was I? Oh, yeah...

It's always been a family tradition to have friends
and family over on Christmas Eve. Around 10:30pm
people get shooed out, allowing for adequate cleanup,
the forcing of leftovers on relatives and the Kicking
Out of the Drunk Uncle Who Played Santa, so as to
provide enough time to straighten oneself out in order
to attend Midnight Mass.

It's also always been a tradition in my family to
feign illness in order to avoid Midnight Mass. 'Tis a
kid thing; I'm sure God understands.

So, ha-ha-ha, me and my sister are doing the "Don't
feel good" thing, and now we've got the run of the
place:

--We totally took the good stuff from my other
brothers' and sisters' stockings and stuffed it into
our own, the pigs we are;
--What happens when you put a foiled chocolate Santa
into the microwave? By God, it looks like a
lightning-storm! Fascinating! Know what? It smells
funny. AND I'm scared. Shut it off.

We both got so hopped up on sugar, we bounced off
everything.
Think of a Frat party, but the only attendees are 2
girls under 12.
Prior to the incident I am about to describe, I do
believe we experimented on the difference between
eating Count Chocula cereal with the ho-hum standby of
"milk" versus grape kool-aid.

Now we've brushed our teeth and covered our tracks,
gotten in our jammies and are gibbering to eachother
about what we expect The Fat Man is gonna bring us:
Is it That Doll? That Fake Makeup Set with Disco
Glitter Shoes? The Donny and Marie Show Set? A Mr.
Microphone? Or maybe The Stilts I sooooo want?

"I'm gonna make sure Santa SEES US!", my sister
declares.
And before mine own peepers, she pushes a vanity chair
up to our wreathed window/door, stands upon the this
chair and positions her bootie in the wreath like a
reverse target, pulls her longjohn bottoms down,
repositions her pale butt and screams,

"Don't make me poo on Rudolph!"

...I am NOT making this up.

Ah! You can see my Christmas Steve here. I am too poor
to buy a tree.

http://www.damebramage-lorelei.blogspot.com//

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