August 31 2010
So anyway, today I was on the subway sitting across from a tattooed girl. She was cute and punky and wearing a skimpy mini-dress so her tattoos were on full display. When I first sat down I immediately looked away because on first impression seriously tattooed people make me a little nervous. Like I think they always have a switchblade hidden on their person or something. And they could –swik swik– cut me before I’d ever know what was what.
Anyway, the train ride is going along and I find myself looking at this girl’s feet and ankles which had pretty nice tattoos. Cartoony style. Birds and vines and stuff. I started to admire the work. Lots of detail. I was trying to decipher what was going on there.
As I worked my way up her calf– (I realized I was staring a bit but I figured she knew why) she crossed her leg and exposed her full side thigh which had wildlife on it. Like deer sipping from a stream and stuff. And high up on the side of her thigh there were a bunch of samurai and geishas in there together and they disappeared under the skirt. I couldn’t understand what the samurai and the geisha were doing in the woods with the deer and the birds but…
On the inner thigh on her other leg there was some sort of monster action scene going on. At this point, I felt like she was comfortable with the idea that I was admiring her tattoos. In my head I really wasn’t like, ‘Oooh! Look at the legs!’ I really was like, ‘I’m bored on the train– I’m gonna look at your inked up situation. Because it is the best art on the train.’
I think I was only looking her over for a minute or so– but when I looked at her in the eyes to sort of give her a ‘Hey! Nice tattoos!’ nod— she was looking back at me with a face that said, ‘What the f–k are you staring at, you fkin gorky pervert?!’
I immediately looked away and went back into, ‘I’m scared of you tattoo people mode.’
But on second thought I was a like, ‘Honey! You’re the one covered in art! In a mini-skirt! I’m sure it’s a fine line but I kind of feel like I sort of have the right to look you over!’ I guess there’s a certain protocol there and maybe I mistook comfort for discomfort– but…
And hey! I bet if I was covered in tattoos she wouldn’t have minded so much. It would have been more acceptable, right? Like she’d know exactly why some dude covered in tattoos would be looking her over. Just because I’m covered in hair and not tattoos– shouldn’t automatically make me a perv! I’m not a perv, tattoo girl! I like cartoons! I was just looking at the tattoos all over you! How could I not!? We were sitting right across from each other! You were all exposed! Don’t I have the right to admire you?!
PS. Thanks for not taking out your switchblade and swik swiking me…