May 31 2011
So this weekend I had a Tag Sale (or Stoop Sale or Garage Sale or whatever). I carted out a trunk full of CDs. Hundreds of books. Old computer parts. A router. A pair of never worn ice skates. Used rollerblades. A DVD/VCR combo thingamagiggy. Some framed art prints. A working portable TV from 1961. Never used picture frames. Never used dog stuff. All sorts of crap.
I went around town putting up flyer signage and writing on the street with big chalk with arrows directing the way. And it wasn’t until I started walking around that I realized it was totally dopey to be all doing up a Tag Sale on friggin Memorial Day weekend! Everyone leaves town!! After planning for years to do this sale, nailing a sunny day, and finally having a good reason to get this stuff outta here– I probably picked the worst friggin day of the year to be schlepping my stuff down front!
Anyway, the hardest thing to let go of was my CD collection. I built it up for so many years and had such a ‘cool’ mix of stuff. People would look at my CD collection and knowlingly nod. They’d feel bad about their own CD lame collection. But reality set in and they had to go. The more impressive mix now lives on my computer. So– 2 for $3. 3 for $5.
And books? I kept the books that I love the most or the ones that I might want to actually read one day. Everything else went out. $2 for hardcover. $1 for paperback. It quickly became All Books $1.
Fortunately people started coming by. It was a cool neighborly event. Most people stopped to assault my CD collection. Or nab books. The occasional stray weirdo would buy something else. Like my two wigs (blonde and redhead) or my used-up Rollerblades (but refusal to take the new ice skates).
But as the day dragged on I could tell there was no way I was selling all my stuff. Maybe half at best. Not really because of Memorial Day weekend. Moreso because– frankly, for the most part I was selling things people simply don’t want. Even a $5 lava lamp sat untouched.
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised alot of the stuff sat unwanted. I mean does anybody need to take home Red Hot Chili Peppers ‘Mothers Milk’, A DVD box of Mad Men (missing one disc), a dusty old lava lamp, a 1937 fire-hazard toaster, and a jacketless hardcover of The Pelican Brief? On top of the stuff they already have?
I had other random stuff too– a perfectly fine router $10. A giant framed Van Gogh museum print $15. A hand-made butterfly kite $5. A dog gate $5. I giant knit quilt made by my grandma (sorry grandma, I love the quilt but I never use it. (It fortunately found a good home with a crunchy woman who had a vintage Rolling Stones t-shirt and oversized sunglasses. She immediately loved it). $7.
I fortunately did sell an impressive amount of stuff. I made close to $400. But as I marked down my sale to $1.00 CDs and 2 for $1 books– I started noticing that a lot of this stuff I treasured simply wasn’t wanted– by anyone. And late in the day, I just changed the signs to ‘EVERYTHING FREE!
And as the sun went down and I sat with the gf drinking beer watching the neighborhood vultures descend and ravage the remainder of the goods, I felt the sadness of losing this stuff rise away. Sentimentality turned to stone. Take the friggin CDs. I ripped most of em anyway. Take the books. I’m never reading ‘Infinite Jest’ never ever. I was simply relieved to have all this crap out of my friggin house! (frankly I was leaning a little bit hoarder style).
Because for me– alot of this stuff had been near-garbage to me for a long time– I just didn’t realize it because it was inside my house on shelves. I recommend a clutterless lifestyle to all! Feels good! And to all a good morning! Good day, sir!
PS. The last remaining things (lasted overnight)– that were literally worth nothing to nobody. A pair of brand new tuxedo shoes. A DVD of Margot at the Wedding. And the dog gate.
Get to the catch area and then head off towards the end zone to try and score a touch down!
You are a battle marine from the future that has been sent back in time to change the future.