September 01 2011
So yesterday I got on a plane to head back to NYC. I was boarding late because I got caught up in a Blue Hawaiian at Malibu Al’s Airport Beach Bar and didn’t hear boarding announcement.
Anyway, the plane was totally packed and I was happy to have a window seat. I walked down the aisle scoping out who my seat neighbor might be. In the middle seat of my row was this woman who looked really pissed off about something. But like permanent style. Like her face’s default setting is ‘Grumpy-Pissed’. I stuff my bag into an overhead bin and then excuse myself and point to the window seat. She shoots me a look like, ‘Uch. Do you have to sit there?!’
She grumpily takes her time gathering her stuff (btw she had her totally spread out! Including stuff on my seat! Like she was trying to demotivate someone from sitting there? Lady, you’re on a plane! Not a train! It’s assigned seating! And it’s packed! Move your crap!) ….
I sit down and immediately put down the arm rest which brushes past her arm. She dramatically shrinks away and then starts rubbing her arm as if it hurt. It’s like, ‘That didn’t hurt! Stop with the dramarama…
Meanwhile, behind us is a mother with three kids. One toddler on her lap and two others. Although I wasn’t thrilled to have a whole family directly behind me– it’s whatevery. Just gotta deep breath and accept it. And it’s sort of amazing to see the Mom juggle everything. I was like, ‘Wow. That Super Mom has her hands friggin crazy full claustrophobia style.’..
I settle in and start reading my book (which I liked alot. this one here called The Long Run). Thankfully the kids behind us were well behaved for the most part. Acting up now and then but nothing serious. Seat kick here. Drumming on the tray table or whatever. One crier now and then. But every friggin time there was any sort of kid distraction the woman next to me would like huff and turn around to shoot them all a look– or squirm in her seat and grumble to herself. Always an annoyed reaction.
Btw all things considered these kids were being really good! It’s like, ‘Lady! Cut Mom a break! This Mom got kids crawling all over her the whole flight! You’re gonna shoot looks?! Turn around and shoot a look?! At the Mom? Or the kid?! So after a while every time she would shoot a look back at the family– I’d shoot a look at her. I’m sure the Mom was shooting a look back at her too. There was look shootin’ going on all over the place.
PLUS when I got up to go to the bathroom she made a whole thing of it. Making it clear she was inconvenienced. And when I came back to the row to sit back down– she had settled in again. Spread out-ish. I’m like, ‘Lady! You don’t settle in! There’s no settle in when I get up to go to the bathroom! You see a parachute on my back?! No?! Then you know for a fact I’m coming back!! Why you all spread out again!?!!!
Anyway, it does make me sad when I see people who for whatever reason are locked in on the grumpy setting and can’t shut it off. It’s a tough way to walk around. It seems like it takes alot of energy to look for things to be upset at all the time. But for frucks sake! On a sold out flight that’s 5 hours long?! Can’t you just take one deep breath and hide in a book?! Or choose a different attitude?
Get to the catch area and then head off towards the end zone to try and score a touch down!
You are a battle marine from the future that has been sent back in time to change the future.